10 Worst Band Names

I’ve been a big fan of music since childhood and, therefore, have become accustomed to the oddness of band names.  I remember looking at album covers of Jefferson Airplane and Abba and thinking their names were so strange and, yet, mysterious.  I liked them and still do.  However, today, I imagine at least one of them has made it onto a list of worst band names.

This evening, as I was attempting to compile a list of 10 Worst Band Names for Monday Listicles, I found there are a ton of such lists out there.  Looking through some of them I realized, yes, some band names are bad.  But really, what are the options for naming a band?

I mean, The Band already exists.  The most logical name for a band is taken.

It’s popular to name bands after their founders and/or lead singers, and, why not?  Even though it does come across as ego-maniacal, what are the options?

Hole? Rush? Styx? 

Kansas, Boston, Chicago?

So before I give you my own list of worst band names, let me say, I appreciate the attempts, the creative vigor, and the bravery of musicians who give themselves a collective “name” and put themselves out there.  I’m grateful for the music.  (Although I could do without Butthole Surfers).

10 Worst Band Names

Swans – Are they like feathered creatures from the Swan Lake ballet?  Do they sound like Tchaikovsky?  Maybe they should have taken a cue from E. B. White and gone with The Trumpet of the Swan.  At least that would evoke something musical.  What does a swan sound like?  Well, I found out.  You can listen here:  Swan Sounds

Yellow Ostrich – Another of the ornithological variety.  I actually love this band.  However, do yellow ostriches exist and if so, what do they sound like?  You can find out here (make sure to listen to the screaming ostrich selection):  Ostrich Sounds

Flogging Molly – I actually love this band, too.  And this name actually works.  It’s memorable and catchy.  But who’s Molly?  Why is she being flogged?  Wiki explains:

the band's name comes from the bar (Molly Malone's) thatfaithfully supported the band from the very beginning, "We used to playthere every Monday night and we felt like we were flogging it to death, so wecalled the band Flogging Molly.

I like that story.  I am now uncertain Flogging Molly even belongs on the list.  But it stays.  Onward we go….

Fun. – Whenever they come on the radio I always say to my girls, “Hey! It’s fun period!”  Yeah. 

Toad the Wet Sprocket – Creatively derived from a Monty Python sketch, the band meant it to be nonsensical. Whew. 

Bubble Puppy – The images this name conjures...I see my tiny Chihuahua dogs floating above me...each imprisoned in his own...bubble.

Pussy Riot – Great story, inspiring really.  Very brave young women.  But, you have to admit, their name is well chosen for a prison-stay.  And I just wish they could be vocal about feminist issues without naming themselves after female genitalia.

The The – You would think this name would be impossible to Google.  It's not.  Pops right up there followed by Mr. Mister.

Days of the New – I find this name highly annoying.  Why?  I have no clue.  Does it bug you, too?  Is it perpetually Easter in some parts of the world?

Dave Matthews Band – I’ve seen this on other lists.  And I love this band.  But even Tom Petty added “and the Heartbreakers” to his identity.  DMB simply lacks the creative spirit I expect from someone who has beguiled me for 25 shows and counting.

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photo credit: ldbaker via photopin cc