I am no stranger to the difficulties of having a new born
and toddler. I very clearly remember the
days of pushing my grainy, groggy mind through the prickly fog that enters the
sleep deprived mind. I distinctly remember
the day I decided that it was time for my younger daughter to sleep in her crib
instead of in my room. I was standing in
the family room attempting to put together a plastic kitchen for my older
daughter—the toddler. She was a toddler whom
I expected to be of more help.
Ridiculous what the mind will do when it lacks the capacity for rational
thinking due to lack of sleep.
I find myself there again—unable to sleep. There are no infant cries or coos for
food. There are no creeping toddlers who
have escaped from their brand new, low-rise tot bed to startle me from my
peaceful slumber. The night noises are in
my head. My 11 and 13 year old girls run
there like crazy all through the night.
Are they happy with themselves? Do they like what they see in the
mirror? Do kids at school really like
them? I mean, really. Do they understand what they are being
taught? And why aren’t they practicing
their music? What can I do better? What
if I have already messed up enough to make them need therapy two times a week
for the rest of their lives?
Sounds like the one that needs therapy sits at the laptop
tapping, tipping, and typing. She is asking
for the anxiety to leave her so that she can finish the dishes, mop the floor,
make the beds, and welcome them home once again. She is hoping that after a lengthy cycle of
unrest, tonight will bring her the wisdom that arrives when one lets
go and understands that most is beyond her control.
It all will present itself as needing attention when it needs attention. Without rest she will not pick up the cues. She will not recognize the teachable moments. Let it go. Get some rest. Be well. And all will be well.
It all will present itself as needing attention when it needs attention. Without rest she will not pick up the cues. She will not recognize the teachable moments. Let it go. Get some rest. Be well. And all will be well.
photo credit: Michael Cory via photopin cc
"Let it go. Get some rest." Words to live by.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it is so hard to give it up in the evening. But, oh, so important.
ReplyDeleteI know all about this, when your body is exhausted but your mind is running a marathon in your head. Hope you get some rest. I'll try to heed your words to "let it go".
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the marathon that OVER-runs the brain. Ugh.
DeleteDefinitely a good tip. I find if I'm tired and cranky the rest of the family feels it too. You try to get some rest too :)
ReplyDeleteSleep is a cure-all. I truly believe tha.
ReplyDeleteI slept last night. And want more. More. More. ;)
DeleteTrue words. My wife has the same problem many nights and I tell her the same thing. "We'll deal with it when or if it comes up."
ReplyDeleteShe's sleeping now. I'm not gonna wake her.
Very kind of you to not wake her. I slept more this morning. Amazing what naps do to the brain.
DeleteStanding here on the sidelines - applauding this post. I'm glad you got some sleep last night. (-;
ReplyDeleteHi Ado! Nice to see you!
DeleteAh, yes. This really resonates. My own are both grown, now, and STILL I wonder if I did everything right, what I should have done differently...on and on through the dark hours. I think I'll call my Mother now and ask if that ever stops. :D
ReplyDeleteStopping around from Yeah Write.
(tip: if you turn off your word verification, we'd all love you even more.)
I tried. Hopefully, it's off now. Thanks.
DeleteIt never, ever, ever ends. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteRidiculous what the mind will do when it lacks the capacity for rational thinking due to lack of sleep. --> Amen Sista! My world straight up sucks when I'm sleep deprived!
ReplyDeleteAnd then we forget passwords, have bad dreams. . . ;)
DeleteThe fact that you are up worrying about them is a good sign, it shows that you care. Of course if you don't get any rest you can't help them as much as you like. I hate the days I'm too groggy to play with my 2 year old as much as I'd like. I'm not a partier, but sometimes (i.e. most days) life just gets in the way and I stay up way too late.
ReplyDeleteI know! Life has a funny way of getting in the way, even if we do have the capacity to sleep!
DeleteI can only imagine how the mind wanders as the parenting years grow more and more. Right now, we're worried about whether they're warm enough or sick or able to breathe through snotty noses. But later, those worries will be replaced by exactly what you mention above. But would we want any other worries at night? I'm so thankful for my worries.
ReplyDeleteMy night wanders at night too. It can be torturous! I hope that you get a good night's sleep tonight. Your girls are blessed to have a mama who loves them so much!
ReplyDeleteoops. my mind! Apparently, the wandering is already starting!
ReplyDeleteI got it, Adrienne. Thanks for coming by, reading, and commenting! ;)
DeleteHow often our own mind takes over. The lists for me. The very growing and changing to dos. I agree. I need to just be well and let it go!
ReplyDeleteHope you got some sleep last night, your girls are so lucky to have a mom that loves them so and does think about all the things they may need, want, grow up to be, but all that will come and as you say, all will be well. Whether its 3 am in the morning or 3 pm the next day!
ReplyDeleteAh those voices...Anne Lamott, in Bird by Bird, calls them the "anti-writing voices," but they are the anti-calm voices, the anti-be-yourself voices. She advocates visually those voices as tiny mice, then dropping them one by one into a glass bottle. Seal the bottle, put it on a shelf. Breathe. Kind of a disgusting image but...effective. Breathe, breathe, breathe...
ReplyDeleteI love that image. Thank you.
DeleteAs maddening as the ages of my kids is right now (two of them are almost 4 and one of them is almost 2), I really am scared for the adolescent years. I know I'll be kept up by the same things. Will they tell me if something's wrong? Will I have the instinct to know that they're hurting or unhappy? Can I prevent them from getting hurt, or at least give them the tools to come out a stronger person? I look back on my childhood and think that my mom had no idea what my emotional state was as a young teen/tween. We were like two people just going on with our physical lives, ignoring the emotional aspect.
ReplyDeleteBut I think that the fact that you THINK about these things, as much as it can keep you up, puts you on a different level than some others. I hope that I not only worry about it, but have the tools as a parent to communicate effectively with my kids.
Yes. Communication. One of my daughters tells me everything. The other, nothing. I sometimes just want to follow her to school to see what it going on. There's so much to address. Sleep does help. Being present and able to catch the cues that it's time to bring something up is even better.
DeleteThanks for you comments.
"Be well, and all will be well." This is more or less my mantra this year. Rather than making New Year's resolutions, I decided I was just going to listen to my mind and body and try not to beat myself up too much in the meantime.
ReplyDelete