I’m a recovering Catholic.
This is Holy Week. Here are the
10 things I refuse to feel guilty about, even as Jesus prepares for His torturous
walk toward Golgotha.
1. Eating Meat on Fridays During Lent – Catholics are called to
fast every Friday during the season of Lent which has taken on the form of
abstaining from meat. . . which has turned into millions of Catholics convening
each Friday in their parish halls for a total pig out on fried fish. Pigging out is not fasting. I will eat meat on Fridays and enjoy the gastric
consequences knowing I am not a hypocrite.
2. Sloth – Sloth is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Technically this refers to spiritual
laziness, but I can remember sleeping in on Saturdays as kid and being reminded
that laziness was a sin. I spent years
thinking I was going to Hell if I overslept or engaged in the luxury of taking
a nap. I’m here to tell you, I’m making up for that
guilt and sleeping in regularly. I nap,
too.
3. Lust – Another deadly sin.
I passionately lust after eating peanut butter from the jar. I will not be attending Confession on
Saturday for this one. I think Jesus
loves peanut butter, too.
4. Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain – “OMG! That stupid idiot on
his phone just cut me off. Jesus!” I’m
not trying to offend. But my road rage
is extensive and I have completely edited my outbursts due to the ages of my
precious passengers. I do sometimes feel guilty for crying out to
the Lord in anger instead of gratefulness and will follow up with an evil
glance toward the idiot driver and say, “Godspeed, loser!”
5. Missing Mass – I haven’t been in years. I know for certain I am not going to Hell…for
that at least.
6. Premarital Sex – I am not married. I have a significant other who lives with
me. We have sex and I like it. I am not going to Hell for that either.
7. Being Divorced – My final adieu to the Church was after my
divorce. My priest told me I could not
receive Holy Communion because I broke the Sacrament of Marriage. Holy Communion is believed to be the actual
Body of Christ. If anybody actually
needed to be fed the Body of Christ in order to receive spiritual grace and
enlightenment, I did after my marriage ended.
That’s when I realized Catholic Doctrine was ridiculous and no longer
felt guilty for choosing divorce--a choice that has enabled me to live in authenticity.
8. Not Honoring thy Mother and Father – Many years in therapy helped me get over this
one. If people hurt children they
deserve no honor. Jesus is OK with
that. He told me last night.
9. Teaching Contraception Instead of Abstinence – Haven’t
delved too deeply into this one with my tween and teen. But here’s how I see it: If I teach abstinence, my girls will feel guilty
about their physiological, physical, and emotional responses to those of the
opposite sex. Causing people to feel
guilty about something that naturally happens to humans is sinful. For this, the Church is going to Hell.
10. Engaging in Wrath – Yet another deadly sin. I used say, "Oh, but I feel so guilty being angry. I mean, that isn't good, it makes me an evil murderer." No it doesn't. Anger is a normal emotion. Murderers are psychopaths. My anger isn't going to get me a one way ticket to Hell. Neither is yours. Anger is a powerful emotion. It causes revolution. Go forth and be empowered.
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I love this. My grandpa used to say that we pay for our sins by having to live with them. I live by that. If it is keeping me up at night whatever I did was wrong. Everything else is about perspective. And we all love little peanut filled chocolate cups so we might as well stop judging!
ReplyDeleteI'm Baptist/Pentacostal, but very liberal and more down with the early teachings of Christianity. You and I would get along very well during Holy week.
ReplyDeleteHope your week is going well. I would hope we could all get along any week ;)
DeleteWhat a coincidence. You'll see what I mean when you get to my post for this week's yeahwrite51. We have much in common. Great post!
ReplyDeleteMore power to you!!! And more power to the peanut butter!!
ReplyDeleteYes. Peanut butter could be its own religion.
DeleteAll very true and why I don't participate in organized religion.
ReplyDeleteI love you Sperk.
ReplyDeleteGreat list.
I'm a recovering non-catholic who attended catholic schools - ahem - right up through graduate school! So I have a flavor of catholic guilt about me but I get it. Love this list.
Have I told you lately that I love you? I have a real girl crush going on here. I'm a recovering Catholic too. I enjoyed every single morsel of meat that I consumed on Friday's during Lent this year. Oh yes, I did!
ReplyDeleteOMG I could have written all of this myself except for the divorce one and that's only because I"m not married (and not living with Boyfriend). My mom is all about it though, and going home is HARD because she doesn't get the extent of my nonbelieving. "Holy week" is especially stressful.
ReplyDeleteFrom one recovering ex-catholic to another, this list is awesome!
ReplyDeleteI'm Jewish. Our guilt is more cultural than scriptural. But it weighs heavy none the same. I've heard a lot of people say that they are "recovering Catholics" I guess thinking you are going to hell as a consequence of some perceived wrongdoing packs more of a punch than the scorn of Aunt Mertle. Good list!
ReplyDeleteI don't know. Scorn is scorn. We'd all do well without it. I appreciate your comment!
DeleteSperk, you have the gift!! You call it like you see it---no apologies. I want to be you when I grow up. I am still Catholic, mostly because it's a culture as much as a religion and that, for me, is hard to walk away from. But your list is honest, open, and brutally, wonderfully spiritual in its own way. It honors YOUR true self and that in itself is powerful AND empowering. "Go forth and be empowered." Indeed. Erin
ReplyDeleteI understand the difficulties in walking away. It's lonely out here floating around in nothingness. I will land soon with confidence knowing there are amazing people in the world like you. ;)
DeleteAs another nearly fully lapsed Catholic, I recognise and endorse nearly everything on this list. So many parts of this religion are just so...hypocritical!
ReplyDeleteI know. And for so long I couldn't identify the hypocrisy. I thought there was something wrong with me. Our creator does not want us to feel abnormal. Shaking it off. Thanks, Jade for your comment.
DeleteI LOVE this post, and that's coming form a girl raised by a Southern Baptist Born Again Christian.
ReplyDeleteFancy meeting you here.
Deleteoh, darlin'. don't I know it. I was the daughter of a preacher...the world of religion can be wrecked with false guilt. imprisonment. no, that was not the design of the maker. he created us to be free.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said. <3
DeleteGreat list Kimberly! As a Catholic (?), (not quite sure how I fall on the spectrum), I do believe your points are shared by many, me included. I remember my grandfather telling me when I was growing up that if their family could have afforded meat on Friday, it would have been a sin for them NOT to eat it! These silly rules we have inflicted on ourselves under the guise of faith!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! I'm married to a Catholic-raised man and he was afraid to introduce me to his mother because I was divorced and therefore wearing a giant scarlet letter on my chest (or something). Turns out she loved me, in spite of my sins, so there!
ReplyDeleteOh the scarlet letter. The chest is the best place for it because it then symbolizes our super-heroine-ness!
Deletei'm right there with you. if i'm going to hell for not going to mass, there is something seriously wrong with this world.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct in that. And this, in some forms and literally, is still being taught to children who come into this world innocent and beautiful. How can this benefit the world?
DeleteHere in Boston, even we *never* Catholics (all 3 of us) are drawn into this. Good luck getting a steak on a Friday anywhere in Beantown.
ReplyDeleteYay for this whole post.
Double yay for the contraception vs. abstinence comment. I don't want my kid to have eternal damnation tied up in all the other confusing things that come up when discovering her sexual identity.
I heart you. That is all.
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteI really like this post. You have great courage to post it - I mean that sincerely - I do not talk religion because I'm always afraid I'll offend. Good for you for going for it. (And I pretty much agree with all of it)
ReplyDeletethere are many topics I am afraid of, believe me. That's why having a great blogging community is such a great thing. Between all of us, we got it covered. Thanks for your comment, Michelle.
DeleteThis is a great post and you are SO right about anger. It needs to be acknowledged. I also think we socialize girls to believe anger is a bad thing, when it is a powerful motivator and change agent.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes. It took me so long to realize this. It's how we express it...not that we HAVE it.
DeleteHear, hear! Like Michelle, I don't write or talk about religion because it's so sensitive and people are so quick to anger, defend, get all pissy about it. So bravo to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I always appreciate your comments. Your ability to keep up with everyone in the blogosphere is amazing to me. Sincerely. ;)
DeleteThis gave me chills. I won't go into all of the reasons that I love this because some of them come from my own personal issues with organized religion but know that I do. And know that I wholeheartedly agree.
ReplyDeleteGREAT POST. And bravo for being brave enough to say it all.
Your comment gave me chills. I am sometimes overwhelmed with the responses and am humbled.
DeleteI love you for this post. LOVE. I am not a recovering Catholic, but a former Catholic. Some of the reasons I am no longer religious are alluded to above. I bet Jesus loves peanut butter too. We totally and completely lose track of everything that is supposed to be spiritual and focus on our bizarre interpretations of rules and regulations that are man-made, not god-made.
ReplyDeleteIn my mind? Jesus drops a hammer on his toe and the first thing he yells is JESUS CHRIST!!
God loves love and happy sex and chocolate and doesn't give a toss if you eat meat on Friday and thinks making us feel ashamed for the bodies he created - is a bunch of nonsense.
I do, however, think if there is a God he/she/it will not be happy with the way some people use him/her/it to justify judgmental and destructive behavior. Or destroy the earth. Or be cruel to animals. And so on and so forth.
Bravo indeed.
I love your use of the word bizarre...and everything else in this comment...with the last paragraph being brilliant. Thank you.
DeleteGreat list! I think the reason a lot of people say "I'm spiritual, but not religious" is exactly for the reasons you mention. What's more sin-worthy? Getting a marriage annulled after 17 years and three kids so you can still go to church, or getting a straight-out divorce?
ReplyDeleteAnd don't get me started on the contraception and human rights issues. Our society as a whole has problems with both anyway, but to tag it with religion. Ack!
Ack indeed, dear Kristin. Good points.
DeleteI gave up giving up stuff for Lent YEARS ago much to my Mother's chagrin. Instead, I DO something... this year we've kept a journal with the boys of the good deeds we do each day. Better to do then not do in my opinion. I don't feel bad about that either!
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, Jamie. It is powerful to lift up the positive actions of children instead of focusing on fixing the "bad." Lent is a perfect time to do so. Really, taking 40 days out of the year to be mindful, reflective, and scrutinize our thoughts and actions is a good idea. It just got twisted by a few people with control issues. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteWhy not just give up observing Lent for Lent? I'm not Catholic, but that's probably what I would do if I was.
ReplyDeleteYour post reminded me of a classic Jon Stewart stand-up bit, where he compares Jews (like him and me) with Catholics: In one joke he analyzes Yom Kippur vs. Lent: "Forty days, to one day. Even in sin, you're paying retail!"
Chag Sameach!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCatching up on Sperk* :) I love this. All Catholics should read this and I think it's time for a church founded on hypocrisy and political agendas joined the 21st century. Heck, it would be nice if they joined the 20th century. I was raised Lutheran-"Catholic Light." This church taught that if we had trust and faith, we would be forgiven for our sins. This church welcomed my single mom and her two daughters with open arms. Enjoy your meat...and peanut butter....and sex...and outbursts of "oh my God." Maybe not all at the same time...hehe.
ReplyDeleteI for one know personally that Jesus likes peanut butter.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe in organized religion for all of the reasons you listed above. Well done. (And it does take a lot of therapy to get over all this crap they teach).
Did you get a fan yet?