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| MyBlogCanBeatUpYourBlog |
The song:
My 100 words:
It wasn’t the smell of his breath that alerted her muscles
to tighten in defense of what was to come.
She knew by the way his eyes darted around his greasy plate
of eggs almost 12 hours ago.
Being hyper alert ever since breakfast was taxing to her
body and mind.
Images of police stations, paradise, and promises flew through her when he delivered the blow.
Her collapse to the couch was like a fall into the hands of
God.
He said, “It won’t happen again, I promise.”
He said, “It won’t happen again, I promise.”
She fell asleep to the smell of eggs frying in the kitchen.
photo credit: matsuyuki via photopin cc
*gut punch*
ReplyDeleteI knew what this was after the first sentence and it was still extremely powerful at the end. The frying pan, the eggs, the fake apology, ooh my God, it was all so powerful....and a GREAT song interpretation.
welcome to 100 word song
HUGS
Thanks for the warm welcome and the feedback. This took me a lot longer to compose than I anticipated. It's a great exercise and I'm grateful you provide the forum.
DeleteWow, this is so raw and evocative. I agree with Lance: *gut punch* for sure.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the feedback and am grateful for the comment.
DeleteUmph! I can't actually spell the noise I just made, but that's a testament to the fact that you captured this unpleasant scene really well with immediacy and emotion. Well done! (visiting from 100 Word Song)
ReplyDelete