Wednesday's Woman: Finding Ordinary Courage

It's funny how if I am aware, the right things enter my life at just the right time.  

That's what happened to me when I discovered this week's Wednesday's Woman, just a few weeks ago.  Imagine my surprise when this week's guest blogger, Kimberly Rues, sent her submission for Wednesday's Woman and IT WAS THAT SAME PERSON.

Who is it?

Well you'll have to read on to find out.  And it's definitely worth your time.

I'd like to give tons of gratitude to Kimberly, this week's guest blogger for submitting this post.  Please, please, please check out her blog Rubber Chicken Madness.  She's an inspiring single mom who can write.  Meaning it's interesting, compelling, good stuff.

Follow Rubber Chicken Madness on Facebook

Wednesday's Woman: 

Finding Ordinary Courage

by Kimberly at Rubber Chicken Madness

I don’t recall the date or time when I first stumbled upon Brené Brown’s work. But I do remember that immediately following my viewing of one of her Ted talks, the substance of my new view of reality was so weighted with wisdom that I recall feeling grounded and rooted and like I could reach for the sky all at the same time.

Take twenty minutes to sit back and let her touch your life.

I had a notebook nearby and furiously scribbled down nuggets of brilliance that seemed to come one after the other as she spoke. Time and again I have re-read those notes. I have re-watched the Ted Talk. I have read her book - The Gifts of Imperfection and am currently listening to the audio version of Daring Greatly as I toodle about town running my errands. And I follow her blog – Ordinary Courage.

Her words and her ideas have a way of wiggling into the cracks and staying there ready to whisper wisdom to you when you begin to lose your way.

I blog all the time about how I don’t expect perfection from my kids – and I don’t. But when I heard Brené’s call to action to courageously accept myself as I am – imperfect -- in order to live a wholehearted life, it was a serious wake up call for me.

I look around at our world, both in my suburban microcosm and in the broader society, and see so much stress, sadness and even depression that stems from deep seeded perfectionism.

Take this statement for example and fill in your own blank:

I am not ________________ enough.

My blank could be filled with: slim, wealthy, patient, organized, thoughtful, blah blah blah….

None of us is perfect, yet many of us strive for it anyway. And in the face of inevitable failure because perfection is elusive, we see ourselves as lacking. Over and over again.

And when I think about Brené as my Wednesday’s Woman, I reflect mostly on this nugget of wisdom from her Ted Talk:

And we perfect, most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you what we think about children. They’re hardwired for struggle when they get here. And when you hold those perfect little babies in your hand, our job is not to say, “Look at her, she’s perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect – make sure she makes the tennis team by fifth grade and Yale by seventh grade.” That’s not our job. Our job is to look and say, “You know what? You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle but you are worthy of love and belonging.” That’s our job. Show me a generation of kids raised like that, and we’ll end the problems. 

Brené Brown’s work leads us to love with our whole hearts, to practice gratitude even when life feels out of control, and to believe that we are enough. And isn’t that what we want for our children? And for ourselves?

WEDNESDAY'S WOMAN IS A WEEKLY FEATURE DEDICATED TO SPOTLIGHTING WOMEN WHO ARE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS. . . AND THE WORLD.

Wednesday's Woman: Three Generations

 "Family is complicated, relationships are not easy."

Today’s guest blogger, Anna Mahler, is a regular contributor to Wednesday’s Woman.  You can find her at The Mommy Padawan sharing her observations and life lessons as a wife and mother.  Today, just a few days after her birthday, she explores the complexity of the family relationships that shape our lives from one birthday to the next, as daughters and granddaughters.

Happy Belated Birthday, Anna.

Wednesday's Woman: Three Generations

by Anna Mahler

Each week, I look forward to reading all the awesome Wednesday's Woman posts here at Sperk*. I've learned about well known women doing great things and causing needed change, everyday heroes and even women who are no longer with us but through their own courage and drive, was changing lives and the world we live in before I was even born.

But some of my favorites have been the personal friends and family some have written about and I have to admit, I often feel twinges of jealousy while reading.  I wish I had a great female role model, someone personal involved in my life today.

These were some of my feelings as I sat, thinking about who to spotlight for my own Wednesday's Woman this month.

As my thoughts drifted to the women I have known, the women in my family, I started to see that maybe there is more positive there, more influence and insight than I am sometimes ready to see.

There was Marion.

I remember being very little and thinking my mother was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.  Long, dark hair, pale skin against red lipstick, a tall and slender body always impeccably and stylishly dressed. She was everything I felt I was not with my brown skin, frizzy hair and short legs.

She was always busy, super focused on the business she and my father owned and ran. It seemed like there was nothing she couldn't do, nothing she hadn't experienced or didn't know how to handle until lung disease raged a battle none of us were ready for. One that even her super powers were unable to defeat.

From her, I learned about strength, drive, and independence. I know the work ethic I was constantly praised for back in my corporate america days came from her, something that kept me afloat over many, difficult years.

There was Elizabeth.

My grandmother lived next door and was my babysitter and after school care for many years growing up. I loved spending time at her house and still have wonderful memories of it today.  She smelled like a light perfume and fresh talcum powder and always wore lipstick as well. No matter the day or time, PBS was on the t.v., the house was warm and smelled like good food cooking and she herself was full of softness, patience and care. She taught me how to tie my shoes and tell time on her clock on the mantel. She'd let me light her incense cone in the little Buddha holder and ring the tiny bells she kept on the shelf next to it.  We watched people dance around bubbles on Laurence Welk and Bob Ross paint happy little trees.

From her, I learned warmth and softness and love.

Both of these women are no longer a part of this physical world but parts of them both are forever with me, mingled in my blood, deep in the soul, invisible tattoos burning deep within.

So often I only think of what I wish had happened, things I would have changed or the bad and difficult times.

Women are magical and complex creatures.  Family is complicated, relationships are not easy. Why would it be different for the three generations of women that we were?

But when I see the the lessons both offered and the way their lives have molded mine at times; independence, strength and drive - softness, love and warmth, what an amazing combination, these gifts they left behind.

Because they have inspired, empowered me and deeply affected who I am today, I'm honoring my mother and grandmother for today's Wednesday's Woman.

WEDNESDAY'S WOMAN IS A WEEKLY FEATURE DEDICATED TO SPOTLIGHTING WOMEN WHO ARE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS. . . AND THE WORLD.

photo credit: colorblindPICASO via photopin cc

10 That Smell Good

I started a new gig as a nanny yesterday.  Hence, Monday Listicles is coming to you on Tuesday.  My being late isn't unusual, but at least I have a semi-good excuse this time.

The theme for Listicles this week is favorite smells.  As I composed my top ten, I became very grateful--grateful to have smelled each and every one of these things at some point in my life, and some still to this day.  Here's to good memories, the good smells that take us back, and the ones that provide us happiness in the present.

10 Best Scents

1. New shoes

2. Interior of a new car

3. Lavender in the garden, in candles, soap, shampoo . . . anywhere

4. Fresh cut grass

5. Freshly laundered sweaters and blankets

6. Jasmine in the garden

7. Each member of my family just after they have showered

8. The ocean

9. Eucalyptus trees
10. Any product from Aveda

What's your favorite scent?

photo credit: marcovdz via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: Be Brilliant

Screenshot Finding Felicity

Today’s guest blogger is Marcia from Finding Felicity who first contributed to Wednesday’s Woman with a motivating story in January: You Can Be Transformed.  I can’t believe it’s already March!  Here again is Marcia creating awareness of yet another woman who helps in inspiring others to be their best and live a full, accomplished life.

I am grateful Marcia took the time to share the following story.  I am learning to not wait until she next contributes to Wednesday’s Woman to be inspired.  She is a constant, supportive source found at Finding Felicity.

Thank you Marcia! 

Wednesday's Woman: Be Brilliant

by Marcia

Screenshot Tara Sophia Mohr, Wise Living

Fancying myself as an aspiring brilliant woman it seemed worthwhile to read a piece called "10 Rules for Brilliant Women".  I read the rules and was hooked.  A couple of my favorites were: Don’t wait for your Oscar, where the writer asks that you not sit silent and wait for people to invite you to use your voice and Filter advice, where the author guides you to test and evaluate feedback based on the fact that you won’t be everyone's cup of tea, some people will be threatened, and some may not fully understand your mission.  

Our Wednesday's Woman, and the author of "10 Rules for Brilliant Women", is Tara Mohr.  Tara empowers women.  She helps women figure out what their true calling is.  She then encourages them to not question their perceived limitations and abilities in regards to their calling.  

She knows that by freeing women from their mental shackles she is directly increasing the goodness in the world.  That is her calling and she is fulfilling it with a palpable passion. 

There isn't a post I have read that didn't leave me feeling encouraged, confident, and powerful.  One of Tara's recent writings was on experts and how that title can do more harm than good.  Me, a high school graduate, reading a post by Tara, an undergraduate at Yale and an MBA degree holder from Stanford Business School stating "trust that it is enough – not because it enables you to know everything, but because it enables you to make the contribution you are uniquely qualified to make." gave me permission to take myself seriously.  

One thing that sets Tara aside from other leading women is that she has the ability to empower women strictly by talking about women.  While some feminists attempt to build women up by tearing men down, Tara has a way of getting the point across without even mentioning men.  That speaks so much to her character as a kind and gentle person with a strong and powerful message.

Tara Mohr shows us firsthand that when women can pinpoint their life's path, or given talent, and learn to give it unabashedly to others, it makes the world a better place.

If what you have read inspires you and you want more information, you can register to receive Tara's workbook with the Ten Rules for Brilliant Women at the link above.  You can also view information on Tara's Playing Big global program that begins in April.  Please view the link to see many testimonials of women's lives who Tara has directly improved with this program. 

WEDNESDAY'S WOMAN IS A WEEKLY FEATURE DEDICATED TO SPOTLIGHTING WOMEN WHO ARE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS. . . AND THE WORLD.

Monday Listicles Make Me Proud

I made it through January and February.  I'm proud.  

Here's a list of 10 other things for which I feel pride and have nothing to do with winter in Ohio:

1. and 2.  My daughters, Sophia and Antonia (in no particular order) 

3.  Graduating, Magna Cum Laude, from college

4.  Working to end the cycle of abuse within my family 

5.  Being recognized by the Columbus Museum of Art for two Instagram photos

Sperk* on Instagram

6.  Mad SongPop skills

7.  My ability to dance

8.  Somewhat neglected as of late, Sperk* (especially Wednesday’sWoman)

9.  My ability to apply full make-up in five minutes

10. You