Wednesday's Woman: Be Brilliant

Screenshot Finding Felicity

Today’s guest blogger is Marcia from Finding Felicity who first contributed to Wednesday’s Woman with a motivating story in January: You Can Be Transformed.  I can’t believe it’s already March!  Here again is Marcia creating awareness of yet another woman who helps in inspiring others to be their best and live a full, accomplished life.

I am grateful Marcia took the time to share the following story.  I am learning to not wait until she next contributes to Wednesday’s Woman to be inspired.  She is a constant, supportive source found at Finding Felicity.

Thank you Marcia! 

Wednesday's Woman: Be Brilliant

by Marcia

Screenshot Tara Sophia Mohr, Wise Living

Fancying myself as an aspiring brilliant woman it seemed worthwhile to read a piece called "10 Rules for Brilliant Women".  I read the rules and was hooked.  A couple of my favorites were: Don’t wait for your Oscar, where the writer asks that you not sit silent and wait for people to invite you to use your voice and Filter advice, where the author guides you to test and evaluate feedback based on the fact that you won’t be everyone's cup of tea, some people will be threatened, and some may not fully understand your mission.  

Our Wednesday's Woman, and the author of "10 Rules for Brilliant Women", is Tara Mohr.  Tara empowers women.  She helps women figure out what their true calling is.  She then encourages them to not question their perceived limitations and abilities in regards to their calling.  

She knows that by freeing women from their mental shackles she is directly increasing the goodness in the world.  That is her calling and she is fulfilling it with a palpable passion. 

There isn't a post I have read that didn't leave me feeling encouraged, confident, and powerful.  One of Tara's recent writings was on experts and how that title can do more harm than good.  Me, a high school graduate, reading a post by Tara, an undergraduate at Yale and an MBA degree holder from Stanford Business School stating "trust that it is enough – not because it enables you to know everything, but because it enables you to make the contribution you are uniquely qualified to make." gave me permission to take myself seriously.  

One thing that sets Tara aside from other leading women is that she has the ability to empower women strictly by talking about women.  While some feminists attempt to build women up by tearing men down, Tara has a way of getting the point across without even mentioning men.  That speaks so much to her character as a kind and gentle person with a strong and powerful message.

Tara Mohr shows us firsthand that when women can pinpoint their life's path, or given talent, and learn to give it unabashedly to others, it makes the world a better place.

If what you have read inspires you and you want more information, you can register to receive Tara's workbook with the Ten Rules for Brilliant Women at the link above.  You can also view information on Tara's Playing Big global program that begins in April.  Please view the link to see many testimonials of women's lives who Tara has directly improved with this program. 

WEDNESDAY'S WOMAN IS A WEEKLY FEATURE DEDICATED TO SPOTLIGHTING WOMEN WHO ARE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS. . . AND THE WORLD.

Wednesday's Woman: Conquering Family / Life Balance

Today's guest blogger is an inspiration in her own right and I'm so grateful she agreed to share a bit of herself here today for Wednesday's Woman.

Alexa B (who blogs under the name Kat Biggie) writes at No Holding Back. She started the blog in June 2012 as an outlet for her grief after losing one of her twin daughters two days after birth to complications from Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). Since she has always had a passion for writing, it did not take long for her to begin to write not only about living after loss and TTTS, but all things to do with being a stay-at-home mother raising three children five and under. Prior to making the decision to stay home with her children, Alexa worked in Homeland Security and Counter Terrorism, and served over six years in the United States Air Force.

Screenshot Fight TTTS

Wednesday’s Woman: 
Conquering Family / Life Balance

by Alexa B

When Kimberly asked me if I would contribute to the Wednesday’s Woman series, not only was I completely honored by the request, I knew right away who I would write about.

Prior to leaving my career to be a stay at home mother, I was a Captain in the U.S. Air Force. During my last assignment I met the most amazing and inspirational woman who had a lifelong impact on me and my views of leadership and career women. We had heard whispers of Colonel “Zap” long before she arrived as our Commanding Officer.  As the third ranking officer in the unit, I was anxiously awaiting her arrival, to ease some of the burden off of me and the acting Commander and so that we could move ahead on some projects. 

I couldn't wait for her to arrive! As a female officer I looked forward to having a female mentor in my chain of command. Especially one that was also a mother. Part of me was very nervous about the type of boss she would be. Some commanding officers expected the other officers to arrive before everyone else and not leave until late in the evening. However, at five months pregnant, my bump was just beginning to show and I was coming to the realization that 14 hour days were not in my best interest for much longer.

As we awaited her arrival, rumors swirled about the type of boss she would be. Some had worked for her, with her, or knew of her and provided the details they knew. She would be promoted to O-6, full bird Colonel upon her arrival. I only knew of one other female O-6 on the airbase. We knew she was smart, witty, apparently very beautiful, but could be mean as a snake if crossed. We also knew that she had recently lost her 21 year old son in an accident; she had three living teenagers, and at some point had lost a baby.

Until Zap became my boss, all of my previous female Commanders in the Air Force were either single or married with no children. The time commitment required to rise to the top of the ranks in the service often seems to force a choice between career and family. But Zap managed to find the balance. And she did her best to ensure all those working for her made the time for family as well.

Once she arrived, it took no time at all for me to adore her. Turns out, she was not mean as a snake.  However, her expectations for productivity were high, and if you disappointed her she had no qualms about letting you know. She was strict, yet kind. Driven, yet understanding. She lost two of her children, but you would never know she was a grieving mother except by the way she knows how to balance life and love.  Even with all the responsibilities of a Group Commander (think of a CEO of a large company) she still made time for her three children’s parent teacher conferences, sporting events, and family trips. We got a lot of work done under her leadership and guidance. We worked very hard when deadlines required it, but if Friday afternoon was slow, it was not unusual for her to send us home early.

After my son was born, she and her husband delivered dinner to us, and brought him three of the cutest stuffed monkeys. She treated us well. Her actions toward us as “people” not just employees made all of us strive to do our absolute best for her. 

In my recent journey of life and loss I have met so many incredible women and my new understanding of losing a child has made me appreciate “Zap” even more.   Somehow, despite what must have been an overwhelming urge to hide under a rock, she was able to dig deep and find the strength to keep going. She never let her living children, her husband, or her career suffer. She was able to balance life, love, and work. And only after losing a child of my own have I come to understand what an incredible challenge that must have been and how special Zap truly is.

WEDNESDAY'S WOMAN IS A WEEKLY FEATURE DEDICATED TO SPOTLIGHTING WOMEN WHO ARE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS. . . AND THE WORLD.

photo credit: Brave Heart via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: A Creative Life

Kristin Has Two Eyes

A little over a year ago Wednesday’s Woman began when I found out my friend was helping her neighbor, a hoarder, clean out her house.  The story astonished me, not because I was surprised by my friend's willingness to help, I knew her to be that way.  I was amazed because I could not imagine saying more than a brief “hello” to my neighbors. Actually lending a helping hand seemed huge.  I thought it was a story that needed to be told to honor my friend and to help mobilize kindness in our world, in my world.

As the year passed, Wednesday’s Woman grew from the stories shared by guest bloggers.  Some women honored were not well-known, some were celebrities.  All deserved the light that was shed on their work.  All inspired me to keep going, to keep writing.  During times when I did not feel I had the emotional energy to write, knowing Wednesday’s Woman was due kept me mobilized.

Today, Kristin, a great writer who blogs at Kristin Has Two Eyes, brings Wednesday’s Woman full circle, back to its beginnings, by honoring her friend.  I am grateful for this reminder to stay awake and aware, for a Wednesday’s Woman is always close by.  We just have to be willing to acknowledge her presence and her impact on our lives.

Find Kristin at her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Wednesday's Woman: A Creative Life

by Kristin

Growing up, whenever I was asked the traditional essay or interview question, “Who inspires you?” I always had trouble formulating an answer.  Perhaps I was too self-centered or overly realistic to spend time idolizing someone in my youth.  However, now that I am a parent, I can easily list people and figures I hope my daughters will emulate.  My realism remains, though, and so while historic figures and certain celebrities may make the cut, more than anything I long for real life role models for my girls. 

As Tamar shared in her post last Wednesday, our parent’s friends can have a huge impact on us.  In some cases, they can act as surrogate parents, filling in where our own fall short (or where we refuse to listen).   They are also windows to who our mothers and fathers are as women and men in the world and not just in our home.  I feel lucky to be surrounded by friends who I know would do anything for my children; including walking with me and my husband as we raise them. 

“Significance is found in giving your life away, not in selfishly trying to find personal happiness.”  -Betsy Ricucci

This Wednesday’s Woman is someone who embodies this approach to life, my dear friend M. Kendall Ludwig.  The first thing you need to know about Kendall is that she is a rock star in my book; an inspiration to me and definitely a real life role model for my daughters (and her own.)  Yes, she taught herself to slap the electric bass and was actually in a band for a few years, but she shines for many more reasons than these. 

Like any successful rock star, Kendall has a strong sense of self and style.  Since high school, she has never been afraid to wear what she likes, showcase her voluminous copper tresses, or articulate her beliefs.  I admired this about her then and even more so now.  Despite being mostly home with her two young girls, Kendall still looks and acts like Kendall.  She has not lost her identity through motherhood or maturity.   While I know she only spends a little time and even less money on her appearance, she makes herself a priority at times, and the result is a confidence that benefits everyone around her.  She understands the link between looking good, feeling good and doing good things.

This philosophy overflows into her work as the president and principal designer of her own graphic design firm.  Rock star that she is, she followed her dreams and began working for herself, on her own terms, as soon as she could.  She took a risk to pursue her passion; that everyone deserves to look good, especially small businesses and nonprofits with great vision, but limited resources.  With her artistic, creative strengths, Kendall had to step out of her comfort zone to learn the fundamentals of running a successful firm.  Her brave ambition did not overtake her common sense.  Kendall always asks for the expertise of others when she knows she needs it.

Curly Red Design

Confident, but far from proud, Kendall does what any music teacher would advise a blossoming musician to do: make mistakes loudly.  Whether in reference to her family, friends, future or finances, Kendall never hesitates to ask for prayer and support.  In fact, on numerous occasions, her inclination to just stop and listen for direction humbles me.  What impresses me most is that her first concern is always for someone else.  In rock star terms, she is loyal to her fans and never forgets the people who got her where she is or knew her when.  I can’t count how many times I have heard her request thoughts and prayers for her husband, her children, her parents, her siblings, for relationships to be healed, for hearts to be changed, for minds to be opened.  Her scope of concern is appropriately focused and yet selflessly large.  Just a few months ago she stepped forward and organized a bipartisan night of prayer at our small community church to simply sing and pray over our country and the election.  

This is only a snapshot of who Kendall is.  I barely touched on all the other ways she demonstrates leadership in her field and in her faith.  I hardly mentioned all that she does for her two sweet girls and her devoted husband.   I hope that from what you have learned about her you see that she is outstanding (not to mention rocking) in every way.  She certainly plays music she likes, but she first and foremost plays it for those that she loves.  I feel blessed that my daughters and I are some of those people and I feel inspired to tune up my talents for those in my life.  Kendall is proof positive that we can all be real life role models and perhaps even next Wednesday’s Woman.

Find today's Wednesday's Woman, Kendall, at CurlyRed a design blog, follow her on Twitter.

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A huge thank you to Kristin, who, with this post, reminds me to honor my creative-self.  I hope she has done the same for you:

Kristin blogs because she loves to write.  In addition to dabbling in fiction and sharing stories, she articulates anecdotes she observes in her boring, yet busy, happy little life as a stay-at-home mom.  Kristin is still figuring out what else she wants to be when she grows up and hopes, in some ways, she never finds it.  

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Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

Wednesday's Woman: You Can Be Transformed

One aspect of Wednesday's Woman I cherish is getting to know guest bloggers.  Typically, I find them as inspiring as the women they honor.  Today is no exception.

These are the words from today's guest, Marcia, from Finding Felicity:

Writing has helped me in numerous ways and I hope some of my posts are able to help you feel anything that leads you to peace.  Love, interconnectedness, trust, hope, joy, fulfillment, forgiveness, encouragement, support, on and on.  I'm here for you and appreciate you being there for me.

I am grateful for Marcia's willingness to share the following story.  It is nothing less than inspiring and timely for those who need a little reminder that it's never too late to commit to a New Year's resolution.  It's never too late to commit to life.

Find Felicity at her Blog and follow her on Twitter!

Wednesday's Woman: Kathy Freston

by Felicity

My introduction to this week's Wednesday's Woman was on The Ellen Show. Ellen introduced this woman who was assigned to assist a family change their eating habits to lose weight and feel healthier. Out walked this beautiful blonde woman. She was excited and thrilled to be with this family and showed a genuine enthusiasm for just being there.


A few months later I saw the follow up. The excited mom was talking about how much weight she lost, her energy levels sky rocketed, and her relationship with her daughters and husband was better than ever. Bitterness was a main theme in my life back then so I credited the family's success to a team of helpers (nutritionist, chef, etc...which I'm not sure they had) and the accountability of being on national television. That's the main reason why I didn't seek this woman out. Her joy and energy were convincing but my cynicism was even more convincing.

So fast forward to a year later and I'm at the library. I see a book with a picture of this same woman I saw on Ellen. It's on sale for $2. I begrudgingly buy it. I tell my sister in a snotty voice, "I'm only going to read this if this woman is over 37. I saw her on Ellen and she was transforming a family's lives by their eating habits. She is gorgeous and seemed so happy. Too happy. But who wouldn't be that happy if they are a famous and beautiful star?" I googled her age and she was jaw droppingly older than I thought.

So I read the book. And it changed my life. She transformed me. I am *forever* grateful. 

Your Wednesday's Woman is Kathy Freston. She is a best-selling author and health and wellness expert that has been featured on Oprah, Ellen, The View and many more accredited sources.

She has written a handful of books including, Quantum Wellness, the book that changed my life. An insert from the book,

"Quantum wellness isn't about deprivation and it's not about perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift." 

Kathy gives easy steps, suggestions and personal examples on how to gently transform your life. She highlights forgiveness, kindness, and setting intentions. She writes like how a close confidant would speak to you and backs up her advice with scientific facts.

One of the most transforming parts of the book I put into action was a 21 day dietary cleanse. This cleanse assisted in a 43 lbs weight loss due to eliminating emotional eating, knowledge of what different foods did to my system, and tapping into an unbelievable source of clean energy from the improved diet. Not just dietary, Kathy also suggests that while you remove some unhealthy foods you remove clutter from your home (trust me, you will have the energy) and negative and/or deprecating thoughts. Clean body, clean house, clean mind...it is beyond blissful!

Kathy Freston helps you to help yourself, which directly improves every aspect of your life and the lives you touch.

When the opportunity to write a Wednesday's Woman was presented there was no hesitation of who it would be about. I told Kimberly, from Sperk*, I wanted to reread the book just for a refresher. It's amazing to see the changes Kathy speaks about in the welcome as parts of my life now, a year after initially reading it.

If you are interested in purchasing the book, Quantum Wellness, please do so in the Books section of my blog, Give Felicity. Further details at the link explain that all affiliate money will go directly to purchasing the book for others interested in owning it.

You can also sign up for "The Daily Lean" which is a free email From Kathy Freston that is delivered weekdays around 9 am. Not only does she send you inspiration, but also healthy recipes and obscure nutrition information. Each email takes as much time to read as it does to brush your teeth. I guarantee these messages will stay with you longer than the minty taste in your mouth does!

Thank you so much to Sperk* for the opportunity to share Kathy Freston as a Wednesday's Woman. I truly hope she can inspire some of you as she has me.

Leaning into your life: Kathy Freston at TEDxFremont

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.



photo credit: thephotographymuse via photopin cc

photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc

All These Things That I've Done

On Mondays, I typically participate in Monday Listicles, which I love.  However, today's theme of things found in your closet....my closet is a tiny hole in the wall.  I live in an old house.  There's not much in there of interest--mainly hanging shirts and a pile of shoes on the floor.  But, I'm still going to participate with a list, just one of a different topic.  I hope you'll forgive my bending of the rules.

Do you have a constant internal dialogue discussing all the things you need to do or should be doing? I do. And yet, there is so much that I have done.

Yesterday I came across an inspiring list created by Kerstin Auer honoring the things she has done. She was prompted by a blogging link-up by Andrea B  Now, I’m inspired.



In lieu of the closet, here's a few things I've done:

*Attended a presidential rally. Forward!

*Saw my favorite rock icons in concert: Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam, and U2.

*Traveled from coast to coast to over 25 Dave Matthews Band concerts.

*Met my significant other online—MySpace to be exact.

*Survived two C-sections and was rewarded with two beautiful daughters.

*Survived the terrible twos, twice.

*Put my foot down and said “no” to my daughters several times, surviving the excruciating pain of knowing they were disappointed.

*Watched my oldest daughter star in her middle school musical (oh, the nerves. She did so well).

*Listened in amazement to my younger daughter practice her clarinet. She’s so talented.

*Read many poems of praise written for me by my daughters.

*Tucked in my girls at bedtime most every night for 14 years. 

*Visited Las Vegas three times.

*Traveled to London, Paris, Nice, Florence, and Lucerne.

*Taken the 3 1/2 hour boat tour around Manhattan.

*Saw Bebe Neuwirth play Velma Kelly in the musical Chicago on Broadway.

*Had “the talk” with my daughters. We aren't done, it is ongoing.

*Was runner-up in Junior Miss Ohio in 1987, which allowed me to go to college with the scholarship awards.

*Graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Early Child Education in 2012.

*Have had many jobs: cocktail waitress, daycare worker, fitness center manager, pizza server, telemarketer, wardrobe consultant, retail merchandiser, and stay-at-home mom. My favorite has been stay-at-home mom.

*Confronted my perpetrators. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse.

*I've asked for help.

*I've received help.

*Gained and lost 60 pounds.

*Danced with a professional dance company.

*Danced in my living room.

*Gained and lost ten pounds.

*Recovered from an eating disorder.

*Had two photos selected by the Columbus Museum of Art to be included in their Photo Hunt installations.

*Was honored as a BlogHer 2012 Voice of the Year.

*I've been a wife and an ex-wife.

*Lived in Chicago, Philadelphia, New Jersey, Louisiana, Northern California, and now Columbus, Ohio.

*I've done punk rock karaoke.

*I've been to Bonnaroo, twice. And I want to go back!

I leave you with one of my favorite songs, so apropos:

  photo credit: the camera is a toy. via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: I Met My Mother

There are writers who blog and bloggers who write.  I often see myself straddling the two realms, which leaves me in a world of discomfort built on my own insecurities.  When I stop to examine these anxieties it can turn into a whirlwind of blame and self-doubt.  However, when I open myself to the rest of the blogosphere, realizing I am not the only navel gazer lurking these domains, I find comfort that there are others like me.

Today’s guest blogger is a writer who blogs.  For me, she is a superhero, navigating a writer’s world—a world I someday hope to enter.  In today’s post for Wednesday’s Woman she speaks to the vulnerability and self-doubt that can plague us when we stop to examine our influences.  But mostly, she speaks to the courage it takes to examine the most complex relationship that exists—the mother-daughter relationship.

I am honored to welcome Kerstin Auer, a writer and consultant, who writes for magazines and book publishers.  She also writes newsletters and has a talent for helping her clients “tell their story and communicate more effectively.”  She is a wife and mother.  I also have the feeling she is quite a good friend.  

Join Kerstin at her blog Auer Life for your own 2013 Personal Revelation Revolution!

Wednesday's Woman: I Met My Mother

by Kerstin Auer

“A woman who has spoken to you in some way or who has made an impact in your life. Stories that have a personal connection…”

My head is spinning with thoughts on who my Wednesday’s Woman could be… My best friend Renae – witty, funny, supportive and a kick-ass public defender after putting herself through law school and passing the bar exam at the age of 40. My daughter Pauline – a kind and compassionate soul, completely comfortable with herself at 15 years old and so much more than I ever was at that age. Amazing writers and survivors and inspirers I have met (even if only virtually) since I started blogging and dipped my toes into the Twitter pool.

All those women have inspired me, made an impact in my life and even though I’m desperately trying to ignore this voice inside of me, it just won’t shut up and keeps whispering in my ear: “You know it’s your mom. Your Wednesday’s Woman is your mother.”

When thinking about women I connected with or who made an impact in my life my mother is certainly the last person I want to think about. Throughout most of my childhood and into my adulthood I considered my mother the enemy. When she got engaged to my father she was the age my daughter is now – 15 years old. She married my father when she was 17 and two years later I was born.

There are lots of memories of her in my early years and I honestly believe there are some good ones – I just can’t remember any of them. What I can remember is a distinct feeling of being a burden. Being too stubborn, too inquisitive, too much like a tomboy, too smart, not girly enough, not presentable, not obedient enough, too independent, too much like my father. I remember her telling me that she hates it when I want to know everything *exactly*. I remember her condescending remarks on my straight A’s in school because “I know you’re smarter than me, you don’t have to rub it in”. I remember her disapproval when I was pregnant with my second child, because one would have been enough. I remember her always taking my father’s side, never mine or my sister’s.

Most of all I remember feeling like being too good and not good enough at the same time. I just could not get it right. No matter what I did, my mother could not be pleased.

Yet she is my Wednesday’s Woman. She has to be.

I hardly talked to my mother for years. I moved on to live my life, a life that I chose and that was free of judgement and disappointment. I even moved to Canada – kids and husband in tow – without saying goodbye to my mother. I left and never looked back; there was just no other way.

A while after we moved to Canada my mother called me and we started to talk.

After almost 40 years I met a woman who was interested in me and who was relieved to hear that I was happy. I met a woman who was hoping to find her own identity by getting to know her daughter, because she was never allowed to live a life that she would have chosen. I met a woman who was bitter that I could not trust her. I met a woman who was a victim of a tyrannical husband. 

I met a woman who tried to protect herself and her children by pushing them away. I met a woman who admired me and was jealous of my independence. I met a woman who was a survivor and asking for a second chance.

Most of all, I met my mother.

She is my Wednesday’s Woman and I dedicate this post to her because she deserves this chance.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

photo credit: Indy Charlie via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: Thank You for 2012

We honored celebrities, friends, moms, and neighbors.  We celebrated you and your children.  We recognized athletes, scientists, news reporters, survivors, those who are thriving, writers, singers, advocates and more.  In 2012 we paid tribute to approximately 35 women who are providing us with inspiration and reminding us that when we are called to action we must listen.  We also were reminded that even the smallest of actions can make a huge impact in the lives of others.  I want to thank all of the guest bloggers who helped to make Wednesday’s Woman a shining highlight at Sperk*.  I have a great amount of gratitude for all of the honorees and for all of you.

Thank you, Anna Mahler for being a regular contributor to Wednesday’s Woman and for being my friend.  My gratitude for bringing awareness of the inspiring work of Lisa Shannon, Jane Aronson, Taryn Davis, Diane Latiker, Zainab Salbi, Christy Turlington Burns, and Seane Corn.

Thank you Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms and Tara Pohlkotte for sharing your stories of women who write and who impassioned your own journey of expression.

Thank you Heidi Cave, Ashley Taylor, Galit Breen, Kristen, and aka Lavern for sharing your heart and reminding us that a Wednesday’s Woman is always right in our midst.

Thank you Delilah and Kirstin Piccini for sharing your stories of the women who pulled you through your toughest trials.

Thank you Kim Pugliano, Cat Poland, Stacey Gill, Cindy Reed and Tracy at Scribblesaurus Me for honoring your friends and bringing their stirring stories to light.

Thank you Missy Bedell and M for reminding us that our mothers or mother-figures were our first Wednesday’s Women.

Thank you Ado, Miranda and Aubrey Ortega for bringing to light the little-known works of well-known people.

Finally, thank you to Corrie Ortner, the first Wednesday’s Woman and my friend who inspired the entire series.

I am looking forward to discovering the Women who inspire you in 2013.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

Wednesday's Woman: Light in a Dark Place

Depression, Women, the Holidays and Hope.

Thanksgiving, the official start to the holiday season, is upon us. 

Are you feeling happy, grateful, and excited, anticipating the wonderful food and laughter shared with family?  Or are you feeling stressed, anxious, and tired?  Possibly, and most likely, you are experiencing a mix of emotions. 

For those suffering from depression, the anxiety that accompanies the holidays can be unbearable.  It can be frightening:  the expectations, the money, the time…

….did I mention the expectations?

Contrary to popular belief, occurrences of depression do not increase during the holidays.  However, what is found to be true is that women are more likely to suffer from depression than men.

From the National Institute of Mental Health:

• One in four women will experience severe depression at some point in life.

• Depression affects twice as many women as men, regardless of racial and ethnic background or   income.

• Depression is the number one cause of disability in women.

Wednesday’s Woman is a space to honor women who are doing great things, on a grand, global scale, or on a smaller, but not less significant scale, in the home.  For many women, their greatest feat is getting out of bed.

Today, for Wednesday’s Woman, I am honoring all women who are suffering and/or surviving with depression.  To help me do so, I am grateful to welcome Kristen from the Preppy Girl in Pink:

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Hi, I'm Kristen from The Preppy Girl in Pink. I am a wife, a mom to two girls and work from home part time. I am not always strong but I am rarely weak. My daughters constantly remind me how good life can truly be. 

Light in a Dark Place

It was hard to get out of bed today. The curtains were drawn to keep the street lights out at night but weren't allowing the natural light of the day in either. I hit snooze on the alarm clock again and again. 

I stretched my arms, my legs and my back. I rolled over and faced the curtains. I had to force myself out of the bed and to them.

I pulled the panels apart and there wasn't much change in the light in the room.

It was another grey, cold, damp day. The days that make it hard to get out of bed. 

Could I lie and say it is because of weather like this that I want to sink back into bed and enjoy the coziness of my bed? Yes, I could.

But I won't.

It is the darkness outside my window that awakens the darkness in the soul. 

All of the heartache.

All of the doubt.

All of the guilt.

All of the pressure.

I know I should move one foot at a time in the direction of both of my two daughters' bedrooms. They need to get up and ready for school. 

I can't though.

My feet move me back to my bed. 

I tuck myself back in and feel alone as I lay in the fetal position.

I think to myself, 'Maybe I can just let the day go on around me. Maybe...'

But then I hear a giggle.

And then another.

I glance up and see the light from my 8 year old daughter's bedroom pouring into the hallway. That can only mean one thing, she is reading before the morning routine gets started. Her favorite way to start the day is with a book in her hands. 

She calls out to me, "Mom, do you remember when Ron did this? He cracks me up!" and then reads a few lines from one of the Harry Potter novels that she is currently devouring. 

She belly laughs this time.

And that is when I can feel the sunshine even when I can't see it.

That is when I turn off the alarm clock instead of hitting snooze again. 

That is when I tell myself that I have two daughters that need me. They need all of me. Not just the person going through the actions of the day.

They need my heart. They need my soul. They need to see that I can keep the darkness out with the light they shine upon me.

And I need to allow their light in so that I can let my light shine too. 

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Resources for coping with depression during the holidays:

Stress, depression and the holidays

Dealing with holiday stress

Depression at the holidays

Please know I am grateful for you. . . Happy Thanksgiving!

photo credit: PHOTO/arts Magazine via photopin cc

Wordless Wednesday: President Barack Obama

Wednesday's Woman: Inspiring Joyful Lives

"Somewhere between Hot Mess and Guru lies The Sisterhood"

The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms is two moms, Ellen and Erin, who are friends taking time out of their busy lives—with 7 children between them—to share their stories, give us advice and book reviews, and to ultimately remind us that even though this parenting business is very serious, it does not have to be humorless.  They are funny, intelligent, insightful and real.  They have been a steady resource of support, inspiration, and joy for me and are sure to be the same for you.

For today’s Wednesday’s Woman, Erin and Ellen have chosen to honor someone who is an inspiration in the true sense of the word.  Erin and Ellen describe her as someone ". . . you would want your daughter to grow up to be. . . ." and I agree.  She has been a victim and a survivor.  She now thrives.  She claims to be "Inspiring Joyful Lives" and she actually is.  Her name is Angela Shelton.

Wednesday's Woman: Angela Shelton

by The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

Angela Shelton (All Rights Reserved)

"I share ways for survivors of trauma to move on from fear, anger, rage, and resentment and find peace, healing and happiness.  I don’t believe in staying on the trauma and recovery train.  I fully support Moving On from trauma, but we all go at our own pace, so there are many steps in the process – living happily ever after is the most fun!" ~Angela Shelton 

We have “met” many amazing women online through our short time blogging, but one of them takes our collective breath away with the scope of her work and her indefatigable spirit: Angela Shelton. Strong, powerful, beautiful, charismatic and tireless, Angela is the woman you want your daughter to grow up to be, the chick you want to hang out with over coffee, and, quite frankly, the answer to the world’s energy crisis. A whirlwind of activity with boundless enthusiasm and limitless heart, Angela is the very definition of a role model.

The Adventures of
Tilda Pinkerton

Angela describes herself as an author, screenwriter, performer, public speaker, and filmmaker, but her list of attributes, jobs, and accomplishments goes on and on and on.  She even has authored a new book series for kids, The Adventures of Tilda Pinkerton, which we were happy to read and review. She is practically a superhero (We really wish we had been bitten by the same radioactive spider! She seems to have about 10 more hours in her day!), but she is also pretty darn funny and we like that here in The Sisterhood. We like women who get things done, but don’t take themselves too seriously, and Angela Shelton is just that kind of woman.

At the very heart of all her accomplishments, her tireless energy (seriously, the girl could power a small nation all by herself), and her passion is the thread that brings it all together: her work as an advocate for victims of abuse.  She has traveled the country, spoken to Congress, written books, guest-starred on television, authored screenplays, acted, modeled  and edited and produced her own movie, but in the end, it all comes back to this simple but important mission. We could go on and on (Angela’s enthusiasm and energy is infectious), but Angela has a great voice and spirit and we will let her speak for herself. We couldn't help asking her our burning questions and she couldn't help but answering them with sincerity and kindness. That’s probably why she makes such a great Wednesday’s Woman.

1. You are a multimedia whirlwind. What is the driving theme to your body of work?

My mission is to work on projects that inspire people to live happily ever after - no matter what they've been through. That includes healing from past traumas and moving on with our lives. 

That drive shows up in everything I do (hopefully) from my projects to inspire trauma survivors to heal to the books I'm writing to help teachers teach larger vocabulary and concepts. 

2. How does Tilda fit into your body of work?

By writing the Tilda series, I get to practice what I preach--- living happily ever after. I've had a dream to write books in a barn house for ages.  Now, the series has begun and the space for the house has been selected! I'm doing what I love to do, which is what I try to inspire others to do. 

Plus, Tilda is full of inspiring life lessons. The thing she is most insecure about happens to be what saves the planet and all her friends. There are many people out there sitting on a creative idea out of fear that it's not good enough when in fact it may just be their most beautiful contribution to the world. 

3. You are an advocate for children. How does Tilda promote your message?

A publisher told me that Tilda is like a modern Mary Poppins, and I think that fits beautifully. Pinkerton, like Poppins, arrives in all her fabulousness and teaches children to be as great as they possibly can be, despite any adversary - even if the opponents are their own fears, worries, and insecurities. She leaves the places she visits better off than when she arrived. 

Like the work I've done in the recovery community, it's not about me - it's about the person who hears the message. It's up to them to move from victim to survivor and then to thriver. I can only point out the pathways I took along the way. Tilda gives you a magical hat. It's up to you to wear it. 

I would love my children to have a teacher like Tilda - so I wrote her for them! 

Searching forAngela Shelton

We love the humility and humanity inherent in her answers. We love this honesty from a woman who has won a regional Emmy for her role as Safe Side Superchick which aims to keep kids healthy and safe. We love this outlook from the mind that created the Be Your Own Hero Workbooks which empowers people to move beyond their painful pasts into healthy, happy tomorrows.  We love this passion from the whirlwind behind Searching for Angela Shelton. This is what classy and powerful and determined looks like. This is what every Wednesday’s Woman should be. Ellen and I both have girls on the cusp of young adulthood, so we LOVE Sperk* for celebrating wonderful women for them to use as guideposts. Wednesday’s Woman is truly a special place to land on the web.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

Photo Credit: CC by jhansensnaps