Dear Daughters: I Love You

I made a big announcement last month and last May that I would be blogging regularly.

No more big announcements.  But, I'm blogging.  And the blog, this space, is in the state of being overhauled--posts relabeled, tabs removed and added, I may even purchase a more simple url.  Nothing fancy.  No servers and me trying to program a site.  Simple.  But here and consistent.

So I was Instagramming all weekend and got minimal done here.  It's OK.  I love Instagramming.  It makes me feel good.  I like looking and seeing and trying to translate what I see to other people.  It's difficult to do so with an old Samsung Galaxy, but I manage.  And I love getting out of the house.  Love it.

I digress...and that's OK.

I am getting the blogging ball rolling with Monday Listicles.  One of my favorite memes.  The theme this week is love: 10 ways to say, "I love you."  Because it's midnight and I have to be up at 4:30 a.m. for work, I am going quick and easy.  Rattling off of the top of my head the things I do for my two adolescent daughters...the things I do because I love them so much that it hurts.  This stuff is the least I can do.

And here we go.

10 Ways I Show My Daughters I Love Them

Dear daughters,

The next time you are angry because I ask you about your grades or suggest you clean up your room try to remember that I love you.  How do you know that when I am scrunching up my face in disapproval?  Here's how:

I tell you.

I pack your lunch for school.

I tuck you in at night.

I sing for you.

I dance for you.

I wash your clothes (most of the time).

I do not require you to do many chores.

I  go to all performances (choir, plays, musicals, band)

I make you food to eat after school.

I cry when you do something wonderful.

There's more.  Much more.  But this is a nice list you can memorize and recite to yourself
the next time I embarrass you in public.

Love,

Mom

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Wednesday's Woman Returns

I turned on comment moderation.  If this is inconvenient for you, I do apologize.  While I was on hiatus from blogging the spam took over my comment section.  Moderation will help me to regain control and give me time to clean it up.  Thanks for your patience.

My hope is that the clean-up becomes maintenance and the work in progress never ends. There’s beauty in the process, isn't there?

Speaking of process, I visited my old blogger friend The Mommy Padawan just a minute ago at her space on the Web.  I was grateful to see her and read her words.  She’s still here!  And she’s embraced her work in progress. She is embracing change and it is working out well for her.  She continues to be an inspiration to me.

Read about her journey here: Changes

Speaking of Mommy Padawan (Anna Mahler), she was significant in helping to keep my series Wednesday’s Woman going.  In fact, I felt as if it was more our series than solely mine.  As I resuscitate Sperk* I am also reviving Wednesday’s Woman.  Today.

What is Wednesday’s Woman?  Here’s a screen shot of how it currently stands:

It will stay the same.  I still want guest posts.  Your contributions, perspectives, and interpretations of what makes a Wednesday’s Woman have been invaluable.  The women that stand out to you, have impacted you…their stories can only come from you.  I need YOU!

The only change I am making is instead of it being weekly, it will now be bimonthly (occurring twice a month).  I think the first and third Wednesdays of each month will work well, don’t you? 

So, who wants to be my guest for next week?  Don’t be surprised if you get a solicitation for a guest post soon.  Or, you could make it easy and be the first to raise your hand.  Email me or leave a comment if you want to be featured here next week, or the next next week, or the week after that.  If you have contributed in the past, you again can contribute.   

To get the ball re-rolling, below is a re-post honoring Anna for all her contributions to Wednesday’s Woman.  Enjoy.

The Mommy Padawan screenshot 

Last week I mentioned that Wednesday’s Woman keeps me going.  This is true.  I am grateful for all of the bloggers who willingly take time out of their schedules to share with us stories of the women who inspire them. 

There is one woman, a regular contributor to Wednesday’s Woman, who is instrumental in the endurance of this series.  She is flexible and forgiving of my lack of scheduling skills.  She is always willing to read my rambling emails and regularly responds with compassion and empathy.  Her name is Anna Mahler.    

Anna's first submission was last March honoring Lisa Shannon.  For her intro I wrote: 

This week’s Wednesday's Woman was written and submitted by Anna Mahler, of The Mommy Padawan.  I am certain you get the “Mommy” part.  But are you familiar with the term “Padawan”?

A "padawan" is a term for “student” taken from the film Star Wars.  I think the title of Anna’s blog is fitting.  She is a careful observer of life and looks to her experiences for opportunities to grow as a woman, wife, and mother.  She sees her three year old son as her greatest teacher.    

Students learn most through their experiences teaching others.  Anna is no exception.  She shares the wisdom she has gained as a wife and mother in her ebook You are Loved - Caring for Our Children, Families, and Ourselves with Loving Kindness.  

Her philosophy of self-care allows her to create a harmonious home.  Self-care also allows her to recognize the importance of sharing her uplifting attitudes with the readers of her blog.  I encourage you to spend time at The Mommy Padawan where you will find a voice of authenticity, grace, warmth and courage. 

I’d like to honor Anna today by revisiting all of her contributions to Wednesday's Woman.  They are linked below.  Be sure to thank her.  And be sure to let her know she is quite deserving of being honored as this week’s Wednesday’s Woman.

Wednesday's Woman: 
Works of Mommy Padawan

Wednesday's Woman:  A Call to Action

Honoring Lisa Shannon, author and founder of Run for Congo Women, which is a volunteer effort to raise funds and awareness for women in the Democratic Republic of Congo.  She also spent months in eastern Congo exploring the link between mining and the world's worst sexual violence.


Wednesday's Woman: Impacting Families
Honoring Dr. Jane Aronson, founder of Worldwide Orphans Foundation.


Wednesday's Woman: A New Generation of Widows
Honoring Taryn Davis, founder of American Widow Project.


Wednesday's Woman: This is a Safe Place
Honoring Diane Latiker, founder of Kids Off the Block

Wednesday's Woman: Zainab Salbi
Honoring Zainab Salbi, an Iraqi American writer, activist and social entrepreneur who is co-founder and president of Washington-based Women for Women International.


Wednesday's Woman: Christy Turlington Burns
Honoring Christy Turlington Burns, American model and founder of Every Mother Counts, a campaign to end preventable deaths caused by pregnancy and childbirth around the world.


Wednesday's Woman: Being of Service
Honoring Seane Corn, founder of Off the Mat and Into The World


Wednesday's Woman: Mildred Loving
Honoring Mildred Loving, civil rights activist. She and her husband successfully defeated Virginia's ban on interracial marriage.

WEDNESDAY'S WOMAN IS A WEEKLY FEATURE DEDICATED TO SPOTLIGHTING WOMEN WHO ARE ROLE MODELS FOR OUR DAUGHTERS. . . AND THE WORLD.

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Hello Again

Wow.  Where have I been?  I took the summer off from blogging in order to spend more time with the kiddos.  Summer turned into autumn.  Swimsuits and shorts into jeans and sweaters.  So much has transpired.  So much in my life has been fixed and much more is in need of fixing. I don’t know where to begin.  I’ll start with a welcome back to me!

It’s easy to stop blogging.  Especially if one has a gift for procrastination, which I do.

“Oh, I’ll do that link-up on Tuesday.”

Tuesday rolls around and I say, “Well, I don’t think anyone really wants to hear about that.  I mean really.  Next Tuesday.”

And so on.  And so on.

It’s difficult to start blogging after a long hiatus.  It’s very difficult.

I mean, what do I say?

“Sorry it's been a while, I’m a lazy bum?”

“I’m afraid you won’t like what you read?”

Dribble, dribble, droll.

Fear.  Fear.  Fear.

Plus, my story is not only my own, but also belongs to the people in my life—my partner, my daughters, the people in my community that may read Sperk*.  I feel a need to protect them, their privacy.  Plus, as far as my daughters, I don’t want to embarrass them.

I've missed having a voice, though, which is the most precious gift of blogging.  Not all in this world have a voice.  I do.  I should be using it.  Forget hiding in silence.  Forget fear of judgment.  Forget thoughts like, “I’m not where I should be at this point in my life.”

“If I really share my opinion, I may be ignored at the next school function.”

And so on.  And so on.

Furthermore as I was searching for stock photos to include with this post I came across this:

And to that I say, "whatever," because I then came across this:

My blog’s layout needs updated.  My bio needs to be rewritten.  The tabs need to be made relevant. 

So much to do.  So much to say.

I must proceed with patience.

I must acknowledge that the hard part is done—getting started.

Here it is.

Blog post number one, after a very long, lonesome hiatus.  I've missed my blogging connections.  I've missed you.

Hello, again.

 

"Hello again, its been too long, too long, too long, hello again" DMB



I have been consistently taking mobile photos and posting on Instagram.  In case you missed me there:

photo credit: mikkelz via photopin cc

photo credit: Will Lion via photopin cc

photo credit: Travelin' Librarian via photopin cc

Feed Your Head: A Mix Tape for Time Travel

It’s Twisted Mix Tape Tuesday and I’ve been transported back in time to 1969. My mission is to comprise a list of songs you must listen to in this year of my birth. My mission’s instructions include keeping in mind that I “. . .have no knowledge of the music to come, however [I am] fully aware of the music in [my] past and can make full use of it . . . .”

This is no easy mission.  So much great music, so many great artists emerged in the '60's.  Should I consider popularity?  Influence and impact?  I just don't know.  So, these are the songs I simply think you must hear.

Jackson – Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash

The first concert I ever attended at the tender age of three or four (I don’t remember exactly) was that of Glen Campbell at Capitol Music Hall in Wheeling, West Virginia. Guess who Campbell’s special guests were? Johnny and June! I was absolutely mesmerized. That show was in the early ‘70’s and in keeping with my mission of not knowing what music will come post 1969 or of not knowing I would see Johnny and June in the flesh, I am safe with this choice. Jackson reached number 2 on the country charts in 1967.



Colours – Donovan

Donovan was considered an imitator of Bob Dylan. But as in all forms of art, when creating music there is no imitation, only inspiration. Colours came to me on a mix-tape-gift by someone I don’t remember. The song, though, is so sweet, it’s unforgettable. And although the mix tape was given to me in the 80’s, I’m safe in my mission. Colours, the single, was released in the UK in 1965.



Wishin’ and Hopin’ – Dusty Springfield

The anthem for the not yet liberated woman of the ‘60’s. Prayers don’t work.  However, a great voice and stellar musical performances will get you the guy. Thank you Dusty.



These Boots are Made for Walkin’ – Nancy Sinatra

The anthem for the liberated woman of the ‘60’s, 1966 to be exact. The skirt, the boots, the legs. Am I objectifying Nancy? Forgive me, but she had the moves. And the song? Try standing still while it’s streaming from your music device (being that it's 1969, 'device' means record player or 8-track).



Suite: Judy Blue Eyes – Crosby, Stills and Nash

Performed at Woodstock, this is Stephen Stills’ ode to his break-up from singer-songwriter Judy Collins. If you’re looking for a gateway song into the world of classical music, this is it. Why? It is divided into sections (very remedial reason, I know). That being said, the real reason you should listen to this song is, well, it’s beautiful.  The harmony slays my soul. (I promise to work on my ability to describe music. It’s a tough gig).



Light My Fire – The Doors

This one gets you right from Densmore’s opening crack on the drum. Then you have Manzarek’s trippy organ melody, Krieger's guitar, Morrison’s sultry voice. All very mysterious. The first time I heard it I remember stopping what I was doing (probably having a tea party with my imaginary friends) and thinking it was the strangest most wonderful thing I had ever heard.  Yes, that would have been the early ‘70’s, but, once again, I’m safe in my mission. Light My Fire was released in 1967.



White Rabbit - Jefferson Airplane

Feed your head. Not with drugs.  With music.

"Canadian psychologists from McGill University have shown that the neurochemical benefits of music can boost the body’s immune system, reduce anxiety, and help regulate mood." [source]






OK. There is a ton of music you should listen to while visiting with me in the year of 1969: Beatles, Rolling Stones, Hendrix, Monkees, The Kinks, Marvin Gaye. . . . For lack of time, I must close, and transport back to 2013.  My children there are hungry.

Our soundtrack as we travel?  Movie soundtracks, of course:

The Sound of Music
Thank you, Rodgers and Hammerstein


West Side Story
Thank you, Leonard Bernstein

Back to 2013 in 3…2…1....

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She Would Be a Freshman

I remember just about a year ago, it hit me:  A few months of summer and then she would be a freshman in high school.

That’s when I stopped breathing.

Would it be as awkward for her as it was for me?  Would the same things happen to her? 

Would she learn the important stuff, like how to be a friend, how to be safe, how to be happy?

Not all of her tests were marked as stellar.  Not all curfews met.  

There were disagreements with friends and flirtations with potential romantic interests.  She rode around in cars with teens who were her elders, yet her peers.  She made it home alive.

There were triumphs and disappointments, all accompanied by drama.  Her drama.  In her room.  In this house. 

Celebrations. 

Self-criticism.

Pep-talks.

Silence.

Loud music.

A beautiful face buried in an iPhone.

She became mysterious.  Inaccessible at times.   However, at times she needed me like when she was a toddler.  Her skills so much more developed, the challenges greater. 

The hugs were as easy to give as when she was two years old.

Her freshman year officially ended a few days ago and I allowed myself to breathe.

I missed it, the air, the oxygen, the freedom.

I will not miss the fear.

Her time in high school is not going to be like it was for me.

She is not me.

She isn't even mine.

Yes, I gave birth to her.  This is true.

However, she belongs to the world.

And she will be ready.

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