Wednesday's Woman: Mildred Loving

Today’s guest blogger, Anna Mahler, is a regular contributor to Wednesday’s Woman and blogs at The Mommy Padawan.  In case you are wondering, padawan means student.  Anna considers herself a student of life, always open to learning through her experiences as a wife, mother, friend, and woman in her community.   I am honored to welcome her back to Sperk* today with a story of courage that comes from history, her own and ours.

Wednesday's Woman: Mildred Loving

by Anna Mahler

Having the basic right to marry the person you fall in love with is something most of us take for granted. When I was single, my thoughts and emotions were far more wrapped up in wondering if I would ever meet someone special to share my life with. Whether or not marriage would be a legal option if I did finally meet “the one” never came in to play.

But that is not how the world has always worked and for some, it is still not that way.

In the 1950's, this was the reality a woman named Mildred Jeter experienced and ended up making history by helping to change the law where love and equality meet.

Mildred, a woman who was part black, part Cherokee, fell in love with her childhood sweetheart, a white construction worker named Richard Loving. Richard felt the same and was ready to settle down but there was a problem. Mildred and Richard were from Virginia, a state where interracial marriage was against the law.

In June of 1958, the couple traveled to Washington, D.C. to marry and returned home to Virginia.

Screenshot The Loving Story

Shortly after their return, local police raided their home at night. They were arrested, charged with unlawful cohabitation and jailed.

Convicted on felony charges, the couple was offered a suspension of their one-year prison sentences if they would leave the state and not return. Mildred was pregnant with the couple’s first child at the time so the Lovings decided to move to Washington DC.

Mildred never truly adjusted to life in the city and always longed for her roots and a more rural life back in Virginia.  Frustrated with the current system, in 1964, she contacted the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) for help.

"I wasn't involved with the civil rights movement," Mildred explains at one point. "We were trying to get back to Virginia. That was our goal."

I can't imagine how scary, frustrating and humiliating this situation must have been for Mildred Loving, for so many reasons. Interracial relationships and marriages are not completely uncommon today and are of course, completely legal but they are still not always accepted.

The Loving Story

I know what it is to feel people's stares, hear them murmur under their breath or feel their disgust or condemnation, all based on the color of your skin and the person you are with. And I know what I have felt and experienced is probably nothing compared to what this wife and mother lived and dealt with during one of our more racially heated times in history.  

As their trial began, when their lawyer, Bernard Cohen, asked Richard whether he had anything to say to the justices, he replied simply: "Tell the court I love my wife, and it's just unfair that I can't live with her in Virginia."

In 1967, Supreme Court ruled on the case of Loving v. Virginia. In what would become a landmark case, the Court ruled that state bans on interracial marriage were unconstitutional.

While times have changed, mostly for the better, there are still people today who are fighting for this same basic right.

In 2007, 32 years after her husband died, Mrs. Loving - who herself passed away the following year - released a statement in support of same-sex marriage.

“Not a day goes by that I don't think of Richard and our love, our right to marry, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the "wrong kind of person" for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry.” (source)

For her strength, her bravery and her heart, today's Wednesday's Woman is Mildred Loving.

The Loving Story, a film by Elisabeth Haviland James/Nancy Buirski

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

photo credit: Jennuine Captures via photopin cc