When I asked today’s guest blogger to submit a piece for Wednesday’s Woman she not only said, “Yes,” but also, “It’s such an honor.”
After reading her submission, it was I who felt honored—overwhelmed
with honor. I was humbled.
It is a story of her willingness to share her experience
with another woman—a woman who has been launched into a similar journey, and ironically,
a woman the same age as she was when she was propelled into her own life of "after".
The keen insight present in her
account of moving towards offering support elicited a stirring reaction, an emotional response, unparalleled to anything I have read.
It became clear.
Today’s guest blogger
is in fact today’s Wednesday’s Woman: Heidi Cave.
Finding Ordinary in Extraordinary
by Heidi Cave
Heidi Cave |
On our way to school, in the car, Annie asks me about
Ottawa. “Is Ott-o-wa in Ontario?” Yes,
it’s the capital of Canada. I tell Annie and Benjamin how we have nothing
to do after school – a day of rest! They cheer! We arrive at school in 2
minutes and they lean into me to peck my lips before they tumble out of the car
in a blur of backpacks, jackets and eagerness. Annie is the last one to leave.
“Bye, Mommy!” There is a moment where I see her. How our eyes are the same
shape. Her face is changing, she’s growing older, determination set in her
small shoulders. I see someone whose life has just begun.
I come home to a phone call from a family member asking can I talk to this girl who just lost her
leg. After I find out what happened, I ask, “How old is she?” 23. The same
age as me when my life changed. When I suffered burns and limb loss. When my
life was divided into before and after.
I said, “Of course I’ll talk to her. When she’s ready. She
has to want to see me or what I say won’t matter to her. It won’t stay with
her.” Sometimes you don’t want to see the tragic turn your life has taken in
someone else. You can’t bear that your future has just stepped into the room.
When I lay in a hospital bed, my body and soul undone by a
car crash, I wondered if I’d have a normal life. My feet gone, my body ravaged
by fire, covered in wounds and grafts and bandages ‘ordinary’ seemed
impossible. I would never be the same. I was worried how I’d be perceived by
others now that I had a new life. I didn’t want to be a shell, to be less than myself.
Scarred and sad Heidi. Disabled and reduced Heidi. I just wanted to be Heidi.
To survive, to get better; I fought, I protected, and I
created a new version of whole. It didn’t matter what others thought of me. I needed
to be comfortable in my damaged skin. My feet were replaced with prosthetics
and I adopted them as my own. I could not reverse time. I could not return to
the 23 year old girl who hadn’t been introduced to this kind of horror. I had
to heal and train my eyes to see myself as whole, even though I was torn apart.
Change is always with us and I would always discover, always adjust, and always
accept.
My body, my scars are a map of where I’ve been, of what I’ve
fought for and overcome. Life begins over and over again.
I speak into the phone, “She can have a normal life. I’ll
tell her. I’ll show her it’s possible.”
Burn Survivor Heidi Cave's tragic, yet inspiring story.
photo credit: AshtonPal via photo pin cc
I love the Heidi that you are.
ReplyDeleteAmazing story!!!!
ReplyDeleteKim, you honor me with your words. You are so kind and generous! Thank you for having me here today.
ReplyDeleteI've only ever known this Heidi. And I'm so very grateful for the introduction.
ReplyDeletethis "after" Heidi? all kinds of amazing :)
ReplyDeleteWow! I was honored to read this today.
ReplyDeleteYou, my friend, are so beautiful. In every way.
ReplyDeleteAnd stronger than I even knew.
Thank you all for your love and support. You guys are amazing!!
ReplyDeleteWow. I've been reading Heidi for years and this just left me with my mouth agape. Honored, and wow'ed to have read this today. xoxo
ReplyDeleteA perfect pick for Wed. Woman and awesome post Heidi! I love these lines - Change is always with us and I would always discover, always adjust, and always accept. Life begins over and over again. I can't even image all you had to overcome but the journey is truly inspiring to us all.
ReplyDeleteMy gosh, Heidi, I am always blown away by your writing, by your courage, by that electric smile as you stood up. It's nearly impossible to find the words to express my admiration. My scars are a map of where I've been... Life begins over and over again. Wise and beautiful words.
ReplyDeleteAnd on a lighter note, when you said in the comments, Kim, you ... I thought, who's Kim? I always think of Kim as Sperk! I had a laugh at myself.
You are so beautiful, Heidi, in every way!
This is an amazing story. I was lying here overwhelmed by my own battles, and I happened to open this article. It reminds me that what happens TO us is only a part of the story. The bigger, more important part is what we do about it.
ReplyDeleteThis is breath taking, you two.
ReplyDeleteInspiring and humbling and stunning.
But mostly breath taking.
Thank you...each of you...I am blown away by every comment, every kind word here. I'm so touched and honored.
ReplyDeleteSo unbelievably, wonderfully beautiful and inspiring. I was just reading the story about the young girl who fell from a zip line and got a flesh eating bacteria and thus lost some limbs and her hands and I prayed for her and thought "How in the world do you overcome that?!?" but now I see, it's possible, you just have to WANT to.
ReplyDeleteInspiring, as always - thank you for the beautiful words, Heidi.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes...I remember reading Heidi's story over at Yeah Write a bit ago. Heidi, thank you so much for showing us all what you've said...Life begins over and over again. Normal is possible after tragedy. Changing, adapting, inspiring. Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteTremendous! So brave and beautiful to stand up and share. We need Heidis in this world! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThe strength of your writing is amazing as always, Heidi, but it's the strength of you -- of your Self -- that's really inspiring.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm a little delayed here, but I just wanted to say thank you again to all of you. You guys made my week!!
ReplyDeleteI love this woman.
ReplyDeleteI swear, I will do everything in my small world to get her name known.