Wednesday's Woman: Thank You for 2012

We honored celebrities, friends, moms, and neighbors.  We celebrated you and your children.  We recognized athletes, scientists, news reporters, survivors, those who are thriving, writers, singers, advocates and more.  In 2012 we paid tribute to approximately 35 women who are providing us with inspiration and reminding us that when we are called to action we must listen.  We also were reminded that even the smallest of actions can make a huge impact in the lives of others.  I want to thank all of the guest bloggers who helped to make Wednesday’s Woman a shining highlight at Sperk*.  I have a great amount of gratitude for all of the honorees and for all of you.

Thank you, Anna Mahler for being a regular contributor to Wednesday’s Woman and for being my friend.  My gratitude for bringing awareness of the inspiring work of Lisa Shannon, Jane Aronson, Taryn Davis, Diane Latiker, Zainab Salbi, Christy Turlington Burns, and Seane Corn.

Thank you Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms and Tara Pohlkotte for sharing your stories of women who write and who impassioned your own journey of expression.

Thank you Heidi Cave, Ashley Taylor, Galit Breen, Kristen, and aka Lavern for sharing your heart and reminding us that a Wednesday’s Woman is always right in our midst.

Thank you Delilah and Kirstin Piccini for sharing your stories of the women who pulled you through your toughest trials.

Thank you Kim Pugliano, Cat Poland, Stacey Gill, Cindy Reed and Tracy at Scribblesaurus Me for honoring your friends and bringing their stirring stories to light.

Thank you Missy Bedell and M for reminding us that our mothers or mother-figures were our first Wednesday’s Women.

Thank you Ado, Miranda and Aubrey Ortega for bringing to light the little-known works of well-known people.

Finally, thank you to Corrie Ortner, the first Wednesday’s Woman and my friend who inspired the entire series.

I am looking forward to discovering the Women who inspire you in 2013.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

However: I'm Going to BlogHer '12!

It’s Friday! And it’s the first official day of Summer Break 2012. 

This morning I drove from Bexley to Dublin and back to Bexley (Ohio, not Europe) carting the kids from a sleepover to their dads for some swim-time in his fabulous pool. 

As I traveled the outerbelt of Columbus, I was thinking, “I hope I don’t spend my entire summer driving I-270.”

Then I remembered.  I won’t.  At some point--in August to be exact--I’ll be in New York City for BlogHer ’12.

I am finding words to describe how it is I became able to attend BlogHer ’12 difficult to attain.  The “feeling” side of my brain wants to tell you one thing and my “thinking” side wants to tell you another.  Typically I can get them to converge in a space that triggers my fingers to type, but today, that’s not the case.

I’m not one to ask for help.  I should be.  Everyone should be.  In fact, I often tell my girls, “If you need help, ask.”

After this experience, I’m sure I will be a pro at acquiring help.

Why?

Fear is fading.  Fast.

Oh yes, Sperk* is the Fearless examination of life with two adolescent daughters and I have been fully committed to truth in this space.  Bringing it honestly requires confident clicks of the tab labeled “publish” and, thanks to your supportive comments, your rally of empathetic cheers, I am used to braving that task. 

However, in life without a computer screen . . . let’s just say my confidence level doesn’t quite mirror what you read.

Soon, however, I will have no choice but to be fearless in person.

In response to my post describing my experience of being named a BlogHer 2012 Voices of the Year Honoree, I was offered, via a Twitter direct message, a BlogHer ’12 pass from a blogger who cannot attend the conference.

I did not say “Yes” right away because although I was thrilled, I was also confused and afraid. 

I came up with excuses to say, “No,” and I had some good ones—accommodations in New York City are expensive and traveling to New York City is expensive.

Then I received an email from a blogger who lives close to New York City.  She offered me her couch.

The one last excuse, the cost of travel, became irrelevant because I do own a car.  

No reason to say "No."

But I still wanted to.

Then I engaged in a fearless self-examination of the inexplicable fear driving me to shy away from these kind, self-less offers.  I was lead back to PTSD:

For them, the excitement of success feels uncomfortably close to the feeling of arousal they experienced when subjected to a traumatic event or multiple events . . . People who have experienced trauma may associate the excitement of success with the same physiological reactions as trauma . . . And many of us-especially if we've been subject to verbal abuse-have been told we were losers our whole lives, in one way or another. We have internalized that feedback and feel that we don't deserve success. (Susanne Babbel, Ph.D., M.F.T.)

I said “Yes,” to both offers.

I won’t let it have me.

It’s had me too long.

I’m still afraid.  I’m still confused. 

However.

I’m willing to be true to Sperk’s tagline and be fearless.  In person.  For real.

Thank you, Ashley Taylor (A Dose of Reality), for offering me your BlogHer '12 pass.

Thank you, Stacey Gill  (Stacy Gill Ink), for offering your couch.

I accept with gratitude for you both and for my readers.  I accept with gratitude in honor of my truth.

photo credit:  freya.gefn via flickr cc

Giving in the New Year

As you find a space in your top drawer for your new six-pack of socks, are you thinking about how to say thanks to the person who gave you that great necessity?  As your children fervently play with their new hand-held gaming devices, are they thinking of writing a thank you note to Santa?  It’s the day after Christmas and the kids are home on break.  There is plenty of time to establish ways to say “Thank you.”

Saying thank you by means of a hand written note, an email, or a cool video slide-show displaying how much your kids are enjoying their gifts can go a long way.  Dr. Price-Mitchell of Roots of Action, recently explained that our children gain the greatest “psychological rewards” through the act of giving, not through the act of receiving.  This may seem outlandish as we reflect upon yesterday morning’s squeals, smiles, and laughter.   But, in the quiet act of saying, “Thank you,” kids and teens are forming their values about giving—something that lasts longer than the novelty of a new gift.

After thank you notes are sent, we can find ways to sustain the spirit of giving all year.  Dr. Price-Mitchell  provides six ways to engage the entire family in the act of giving and volunteerism.  I am currently looking over one suggestion, getting involved at generationOn. GenerationOn has a great looking website that is bound to get your kids excited about helping others. There are sections for project tips, project ideas, and training with resources that make it easy to get involved in projects of your choice. It even gives recommendations to help your kids organize a Kids Care Club to involve their classroom community in the act of helping others. 

My kids called from their dad's yesterday and excitedly listed all the wonderful gifts they were given.  I am excited for them, of course, but concerned that if we do not do something to promote charity, they will miss out on a vital part of human development.   Dr. Price-Mitchell explains,, “Family projects that involve giving to those in need during the holidays can be turned into powerful lessons that teach compassion, empathy, and meaning to children.” 

Even though the gift giving is over, it is not too late to sustain our giving spirit.  There is another biggie coming up—New Year’s Eve.  When my kids return home on Wednesday, I am going to have a family meeting to discuss how we are going to give back to our community by helping those in need throughout the New Year.  I would like to include their dad's family too.  If we make an action plan as a family it will be more impactful than if I hand one down as a directive. 

I challenge you to do the same with your family.  Leave your ideas and/or what type of giving your family plans to implement for the New Year in the comments.  Thanks!

Or link up your ideas here! 

Reference

Price-Mitchell, M., Ph.D. (November 21, 2011). The gift of giving: How the holidays shape
        children's identities. Roots of Action. Retrieved from
        http://rootsofaction.com/blog/the-gift-of-giving-how-the-holidays-shape-
        childrens-identities/