Who's Looking Out for Sydney?

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Two days ago, my daughter came into the living room holding her laptop open in her arms, yelling, “Mom, look at this!”

I thought she was going to show me yet another obnoxiously inappropriate ad on Teen Vogue’s website.  This would not have shocked me.  Have you looked at a fashion magazine lately?  However, it’s relieving when she points out images of females that are over-sexulaized in the name of fashion.  This provides me with proof that she gets it.  She’s thinking critically.  

Teen Vogue was not the problem two days ago.  The photo that had my daughter alarmed was of Sydney Spies, an 18 year-old, wearing a short skirt and even shorter top.  According to CNN, she had the photo professionally taken in her hometown specifically for submission to her yearbook.  This was to be her senior portrait.  However, the committee that determines whether or not a photo is approved for publishing rejected the photo for being too inappropriate.  Sydney Spies submitted a second photo of herself in a very short dress with the same result.

Last I read, Sydney’s mother is in support of her daughter’s photos and has contacted the ACLU to fight for her daughter’s freedom of expression.  What does Sydney want to express?  If you simply Photoshop some plaid onto her yellow skirt, you’ve got the girl in the schoolgirl skirt from the adult costume shop.

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But have you looked around the mall?  Teen girls are scantily dressed in micro shorts and cropped sweaters.  Just last week, my daughter tried to leave the house in short shorts paired with sheer tights.  But, this is what is being sold in every clothing store and in every mall—high end or low end:  short shorts, shorter skirts, cropped shirts, burn-out shirts that fall from the shoulders a la Flashdance, and leggings worn with full frontal outline in full view.  Ladies, there is no need to run to the adult store, check out the junior department in any clothing store or stop in Forever XXI. 

So why wouldn’t Sydney Spies want to wear her cute little yellow skirt to cover her bottom and tiny black scarf-like shirt to cover her top?  I get it.  

What I do not get is her mom’s support of her wearing this outfit for a senior portrait to be submitted to the yearbook.  Even if our daughters are bombarded with these types of over-sexualized images and clothing choices, it does not mean we go along with it and say, “OK.”  It’s our responsibility as mothers to explain to our daughters that the clothes we wear send a message to the world.

It is an injustice to Sydney for her mother to be supportive of this photo appearing in a high school publication.  She is exploiting her daughter's sexuality, which gives Sydney the sense that her worth, her self-esteem, should be based on her ability to be, not just "look", sexual.  Our world, and especially the world of young people, is full of examples of the over-sexualization of women.  Just like it's difficult to get our kids to eat well because of the marketing bombardment of bad food, it's difficult to get our kids to understand, especially in the teen years, that a human being's worth goes miles beyond our ability to be sexual.

Last summer my daughter wanted a bikini.  She was 12 at the time and all of her friends were wearing them.  I said, “No.”  She was upset.  And of course the next question was, “Why?”

I said, “Even if being sexy is not your goal, people will see you as sexy.  And you’re too young.”

Even though she is 18, Sydney Spies is too young.  The yearbook is not the place for a provocative photo.  And Sydney’s mom should know better.