Wednesday's Woman: Jamie Grace

Jamie Grace

Today’s guest blogger knows a little about helping youth.  Thirteen years ago, Miranda began working with children at summer camp.  During her time as a college student, she split her time and worked part of the summer overseas in the Ukraine with children and teens in orphanages, providing a camp-like program for them. 

Today Miranda does most of her work with youth through her local church.  She states, 

“Since having to join the "real world" and work at a job where I don’t get the summers off to do things like that, my work with children and youth is primarily done so in my local church. I help teach, I help plan events, and I help chaperone almost every trip. In fact, last week I accompanied our youth on a mission trip out of state where teens and adults come together to be broken into work groups that go into a community to paint, put on new roofs, or build handicap ramps. The organization that coordinates this works in conjunction with the local united way to find those who need the help.”

Miranda’s choice for Wednesday’s Woman speaks to the importance of not only working with children, but also of encouraging them to share their stories.  Her honoree is sharing hers and is a life-lesson in courage, hope, and inspiration for those navigating through a world where they find themselves to be different.  After you read Miranda's article, be sure to visit her at Becoming My Ideal.

Wednesday's Woman:  Jamie Grace Harper

by Miranda

Jamie Grace

When first being asked to guest post for Wednesday’s Woman, there was one person that popped into my thoughts immediately.  I delayed writing a piece on her because I thought that I might think of somebody else who would be a “more suitable” subject to write about.  However, this young lady stayed with me and so I am paying tribute to Jamie Grace Harper.

Jamie Grace, as she is more widely known, is a Grammy-nominated singer/songwriter categorized in the Contemporary Christian Music genre.  If your radio doesn’t stay tuned to a local CCM station (don’t worry - mine doesn’t either), you may have heard her song “Hold Me” playing during some recent commercials for Belk department stores.  She is an artist that had the fortune of being discovered on YouTube by a fellow CCM artist, Toby Mac.  At just the age of twenty, she has recently graduated from college despite having to simultaneously handle the pressures of a booming new career in the music industry.


You may have guessed by her musical genre that her faith is a big part of her story and I will admit that it’s also a big part of why I identify with her.  However, it’s not the reason that I chose to write about her.  Earlier this year, I attended a conference with a group of teen girls where Jamie Grace was one of the performers and speakers.  It was there that I learned of a situation in her life and found her to be a great role model not just for teen girls, but for anyone.

At the age of nine, Jamie Grace began noticing things happening with her body that were not right.  These things became more prevalent over the next two years and, at age eleven, she was diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome.  She shared with an auditorium full of teen girls how, in a time where all she wanted to do was fit in, her body was doing things that made her completely stand out – and not necessarily in a good way.  The disorder obviously caused things that caught the attention of some of her peers. 

Jamie Grace on M-TIC.org

My heart ached for her as she relayed how she would stand in front of her mirror for hours, arms crossed in front of her, practicing how to control the tics that the disorder caused.  It made me sad to hear her tell how she would be sure to sit on her feet any time she was in a group setting because, if she was sitting on them, the tic wouldn’t be visible.  Jamie Grace finished her story by sharing how, in the end, she learned that her mom had always been right – she really did need to just be herself.  Despite the fears she had about what others would think of her, she realized that her differences gave made her unique and gave her a special outlook on life.  And now she is using her story to help others. 

As someone who works with children and teens, it pains me to hear of the things that they have to experience on a daily basis.  I am increasingly troubled by the prevalence of bullying amongst this age group.  Hearing Jamie Grace’s story, I was reminded of the many young people that I’ve seen on the news or read about online that have had others ridicule them for being different, whether it was a weight issue, a medical issue, or even no issue beyond the fact that the other person was just a bully.  These victims need somebody that they can identify with, somebody that they can look to as a role model, somebody whose story can give them hope.  I believe that Jamie Grace is such a person.

It touched me that Jamie Grace uses the audience that she’s been given to share her experience in order to encourage others.  We are not ever guaranteed that our lives will be easy; most of us will face some type of bump along our road of life.  But maybe in the future, when we begin to worry about what others will think of our personality, our clothes, our disorders, or our general goofiness, we will take the advice of Jamie Grace (and her mom) and simply be ourselves.

Photo Credit: By Jamiegraceh [GFDL or CC-BY-SA-3.0], via Wikimedia Commons

Thanks in 10

Every once in a while, it's good to stop and take inventory of what we are grateful for.  Today's theme for Monday Listicles  is 10 Thanks and gives me the opportunity to do just that.

People

1.  My daughters, Sophia and Antonia.  Without whom I never would have embarked on such an in-depth look at myself and my family of origin.  We are breaking cycles, kiddos.  I hope one day you’ll understand the importance of doing so and the importance of constant self-evaluation which leads to change.

2.  My significant other, M. Dude. It sure is rough sometimes, but when I look away from the chaos, I always see you standing there saying, “I am proud of you.”  That’s quite amazing.

3.  My blogging community. Boy, oh boy.  The acceptance and how you embrace my story is astounding and sometimes completely overwhelming to me.  You challenge me to keep moving forward, to keep healing, and to stay truthful in my personal evolution.  You also teach me about writing.  I am grateful for that.  I hope I give you at least a little of what you give me.  Powerful stuff, simply powerful.

4.  My dogs, Frodo, Scruffy, and Tina.  Every time I spend time with one or all of you, my heart rate decreases and my blood pressure is lowered.  You are loyal and don’t care when I mess up.  You allow me to talk to you like the babies I no longer have and do not look at me like I am crazy.  Thank you.

Places

5.  Martins Ferry, Ohio.  Your river and its constant flow toward the south gave me hope that I would one day escape.  Your hills hugged me and made me feel safe in a world full of scary, terrible things.

6.  Northern California.  Your expansive beauty inspired me to see the beauty in my little girls, every day, looking into their eyes and being reminded of the magnificence of creation.

7.  Chicago, Illinois.  This is where I really grew up and changed from confused child into adult.  You were exciting, yet friendly, offering me all I needed to figure things out and become a grown up.

8.  Columbus, Ohio.  There is something about you that gives me hope.  I’m not sure I’ll stay here once the girls are off to college, but I appreciate what you are trying to do.

Things

9.  Money. I don’t have a lot of you. I wish I had more. But I always have enough of you to keep everyone fed, clothed, and housed.  Thanks for that.  Let’s talk about how we can grow our relationship.

10. The World Wide Web. Information is empowering.  Connecting to others is empowering.  You rock.

photo credit: Fenng(dbanotes) via photo pin cc

Save It for Later: FAMU and Penn State

In Save It for Later you’re getting a brief run-down of each week's stand-outs from my Diigo "Read Later" list, Pulse News, Twitter, and Pinterest

FAMU Marching 100

Wednesday, Florida A and M University President, James Ammons, announced he is resigning after the hazing death of university drum major, Robert Champion, in November.  There is a lot to this story and I wasn’t aware of it until this morning when I watched E:60 on ESPN. 

Briefly, Robert Champion, a drum major in the FAMU marching band, was hazed to death by band mates on the band’s bus—Bus C, to be exact—a bus known for passengers being hazed if they chose to ride on it.  Seems the band director knew hazing was going on, but thought it had stopped.  However, in an interview shown on E:60, he claims he did not know it was going on, at all.

Also on Wednesday, the family of Robert Champion filed a wrongful death law suit against FAMU.  Of course the president is stepping down.  It’s not timely; it’s what is done once the law suits start coming in.  In my opinion, he should have been gone in November when the incident happened. 

The band was banned from performing this fall—a fitting consequence.  Thirteen band members were criminally charged in the ordeal (11 face felony hazing charges, two were charged with misdemeanors).  However, some, including the victim’s family, want the band to march again in the future.

I feel the days of FAMU’s Marching 100 should be over. Forever. Someone is dead.  Others before him were injured and the university knew about it.  Just days before Champion died, CNN reports, campus police recommended FAMU stop the band from marching or at the very least, suspend the upperclassmen.  

On Tuesday, HBO's Real Sports will air an interview with Rikki Wills, one of the defendants in the upcoming hazing trial.  Don't miss it.

Freeh Report

Much has been written about the Freeh report since its release on Thursday.  Much has been said as well.  ESPN should stop airing interviews with Jay Paterno, son of Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, and Matt Millen, a former Penn State football player.  I agree with the views on both of the aforementioned in the below links, the first from Ta-Nehisi Coates of The Atlantic, the second from Rob Raissman of the New York Daily Times.  Click them. Read them.  Stop being afraid to read and talk about the child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State.

The Other Joe Paterno

Matt Millen’s biased defense of Joe Paterno

 on ESPN indefensible

Another post about the Penn State scandal, specifically about the role of iconic, former football coach Joe Paterno, came from Ashley over at The Dose of Reality.  She was gentle yet strong in her voice and I enjoyed reading it.   Not because I love the topic---I hate it and it sickens me.  But because she provides for us an example of what we should be doing—talking about it. Make sure you read Silence is Not an Option, including the comments. There is important conversation happening.  Don't be afraid to join the conversation by leaving your own comment.  Then, if you are a blogger, go to your own space and blog about it.

And if you are part of the NCAA, please consider giving Penn State’s football program the death penalty.  Do all who come after the Sandusky child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State deserve to suffer by not having football?  No. Players can play football someplace else.  If Ohio State got in trouble for some players selling belongings in exchange for tattoos, if FAMU’s Marching 100 is no longer marching because they killed a person…umm…you see where this is going.  It is a rule of society that the actions, or wrong-doing of one has impact on all--even the privileged.  We will fail to learn this rule unless big powerful institutions feel the consequences, until we feel the consequences.  The only fitting consequence for Penn State is NO MORE FOOTBALL. 

My favorite sportscaster, Dan Patrick, was on vacation last week.  I am looking forward to his return tomorrow morning to The Dan Patrick Show to hear his commentary on the Freeh report.  I am hoping to hear something like what he said last November when the scandal at Penn State broke:

“Joe Paterno has lost the right

to be the head coach of Penn State.”

~Dan Patrick

I hope I hear Dan say, "Penn State has lost the right to have a football program."  And after, I hope he takes down that poster of Kate Upton that is hanging behind him.  It's still crushing my morale.

photo credit: divinemisscopa via photo pin cc

Hot Air Balloons

No one has asked if I have ever been on a hot air balloon ride. 

I wonder why?

Maybe it’s a question that belongs in the middle atmosphere of relationship development—a place I tend to skip, traveling directly from the troposphere up to the heights of the ionosphere?

Maybe my swift ascent into too much self-disclosure turns people off?  Then, they forget the middle-atmospheric question about the hot air balloons.

As we know from Altman and Taylor’s social penetration theory, getting to know someone requires self-disclosure in steps, starting with a little and ending with a lot.  Altman and Taylor think intimate relationships can develop in no other way. 

The tough thing is, self-disclosure begets vulnerability.  Vulnerability brings discomfort. 

If I choose to dive into discomfort and tell, and it turns out well, or, it is reciprocated, then it’s a victory.

Contrarily, if I choose to sink into discomfort and it bites me on the ass . . . hopefully there are thick enough Band-Aids to absorb all the blood oozing from my bleeding cheek.

Contrarily to the contrary, if I choose to disclose nothing at all, I end up alone, isolated, and living in my own head, spinning in my imaginary world of wondering what others think of me:

Am I too fat?

Am I too dumb?

Do I seem too old?

Do they know I am broken and afraid?

And when it seems others are okay with my brokenness, it all comes pouring out, in one swift wave of self-disclosure.  Too much, too soon, off they run.  I float dangerously in the upper atmosphere, alone.

. . . sexual abuse is probably the most emotionally loaded inhibitor to communications and the surrounding atmosphere of trust and equality that must exist for intimacy to occur. Amid the psychological aberrations of the survivor's world are two key concepts whose mixture acts as a formidable barrier to successful interpersonal communication and, therefore, intimacy. These bywords for the unconscious dysfunction of the survivor of sexual abuse are trust and secrecy. (Engle, 1991)

I once lived in Clinton, New Jersey, in a nice condo with a husband and a baby.  Behind the sparkling, sprawling, new living community, off in the distance, I regularly saw hot air balloons being launched into the lower bit of the sky.

I have never been on a hot air balloon ride.  Have you?

photo credit: lunamom58 via photo pin cc

Wednesday's Woman: Maziah Mahusin

I’m happy to be back from a brief, unplanned and unexpected hiatus from Sperk*.  No, I did not go on vacation.  Let’s just agree that the heat got to me.

Thanks to Anna Mahler, monthly contributor to Wednesday’s Woman and creator of The Mommy Padawan, who tweeted past Wednesday’s Woman honorees last week during which time I was hiding away in a puddle of sweat.

This week’s honoree is a trailblazer—the first female athlete to represent her country in the Olympics.  She will be doing so in London for the 2012Summer Olympics.  Below, you’ll also get a brief history of women in the Olympics.  Be sure to check out some of the links for more reading, paying close attention to the story brewing about Saudi Arabia being the only country to not have a female athlete this month in London.

Wednesday's Woman

Maziah Mahusin

As a modern American woman, I do not recall being banned from anything because of my gender.  Luckily I’ve not ever been interested in participating in anything that required me to be male, like playing baseball, belonging to a fraternity, or attending Hampden–SydneyCollege.  However, the quest for gender equality is still in existence, is global, and spans many arenas, including sports.

Women's Tennis Tournament
 at the 1900 Olympic Games
PD-US

Although the first modern Olympic Games was held in Athens in 1896, female competitors did not participate until the Games of the II Olympiad which was held in conjunction with the 1900 World’s Fair in Paris.  Women were allowed to compete in lawn tennis and golf.  Additionally, France had female croquet players and at least one woman sailor as part of mixed crew.  Over time, more women’s events were added leading to this year’s 2012 Summer Olympics, officially named the Games of theXXX Olympiad.  With the addition of women’s boxing, there are no remaining sports that do not include events for women.

The International Olympic Committee has not been the staunchest supporter of women in athletics.  The I.O.C holds a reputation for standing up for human rights gained by banning South Africa from the Olympics for nearly 30 years, until 1992, because of the official policy of apartheid that kept black athletes from competing.  However, the governing organization of the Olympics has continued to allow the discrimination of women in sports. 

Saudi Arabia, Qatar and the Southeast Asian nation of Brunei have never sent a female athlete to an Olympics, until now.  

Maziah Mahusin

Set to carry the flag representing her tiny Southeast Asian country, Brunei Daruassalam, Maziah Mahusin is Brunei’s first female athlete to compete in the Olympics.  She will compete in Track and Field in the 400 meter.

The country of Qatar will have women competing in air-rifle, swimming and track events in London.  Saudi Arabia agreed to field female athletes who qualify on their own merits, without a special berth, for the Games.  However, their one hopeful, Dalma Rushdi Malhasan, an equestrian, was sidelined when her horse was injured.

In a recent interview, Brunei’s Maziah Mahusin, who has no other women to train with, encouraged her country and the women of her country:

"It is my aspiration to see more young women athletes participate in sport, I think women in Brunei should not give up too easily, and one must have a lot of patience and constantly motivate oneself towards self-improvement.  The support for women to pursue an interest in sport is also desperately needed." (Reuters)

Yesterday, in the last competition before going to the Olympics, the 19th Open International Athletics Tournament  in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, Mahusin set a new personal best and will compete in the final today. 

Although Mahusin is not expected to medal at the 2012 Summer Olympics, being the first female athlete to represent her country is an accomplishment in and of itself.  She's a trailblazer, an inspiration, and today's Wednesday's Woman.

photo credit: Viktor Hertz via photo pin cc