Wednesday's Woman: A Creative Life

Kristin Has Two Eyes

A little over a year ago Wednesday’s Woman began when I found out my friend was helping her neighbor, a hoarder, clean out her house.  The story astonished me, not because I was surprised by my friend's willingness to help, I knew her to be that way.  I was amazed because I could not imagine saying more than a brief “hello” to my neighbors. Actually lending a helping hand seemed huge.  I thought it was a story that needed to be told to honor my friend and to help mobilize kindness in our world, in my world.

As the year passed, Wednesday’s Woman grew from the stories shared by guest bloggers.  Some women honored were not well-known, some were celebrities.  All deserved the light that was shed on their work.  All inspired me to keep going, to keep writing.  During times when I did not feel I had the emotional energy to write, knowing Wednesday’s Woman was due kept me mobilized.

Today, Kristin, a great writer who blogs at Kristin Has Two Eyes, brings Wednesday’s Woman full circle, back to its beginnings, by honoring her friend.  I am grateful for this reminder to stay awake and aware, for a Wednesday’s Woman is always close by.  We just have to be willing to acknowledge her presence and her impact on our lives.

Find Kristin at her blog and follow her on Twitter.

Wednesday's Woman: A Creative Life

by Kristin

Growing up, whenever I was asked the traditional essay or interview question, “Who inspires you?” I always had trouble formulating an answer.  Perhaps I was too self-centered or overly realistic to spend time idolizing someone in my youth.  However, now that I am a parent, I can easily list people and figures I hope my daughters will emulate.  My realism remains, though, and so while historic figures and certain celebrities may make the cut, more than anything I long for real life role models for my girls. 

As Tamar shared in her post last Wednesday, our parent’s friends can have a huge impact on us.  In some cases, they can act as surrogate parents, filling in where our own fall short (or where we refuse to listen).   They are also windows to who our mothers and fathers are as women and men in the world and not just in our home.  I feel lucky to be surrounded by friends who I know would do anything for my children; including walking with me and my husband as we raise them. 

“Significance is found in giving your life away, not in selfishly trying to find personal happiness.”  -Betsy Ricucci

This Wednesday’s Woman is someone who embodies this approach to life, my dear friend M. Kendall Ludwig.  The first thing you need to know about Kendall is that she is a rock star in my book; an inspiration to me and definitely a real life role model for my daughters (and her own.)  Yes, she taught herself to slap the electric bass and was actually in a band for a few years, but she shines for many more reasons than these. 

Like any successful rock star, Kendall has a strong sense of self and style.  Since high school, she has never been afraid to wear what she likes, showcase her voluminous copper tresses, or articulate her beliefs.  I admired this about her then and even more so now.  Despite being mostly home with her two young girls, Kendall still looks and acts like Kendall.  She has not lost her identity through motherhood or maturity.   While I know she only spends a little time and even less money on her appearance, she makes herself a priority at times, and the result is a confidence that benefits everyone around her.  She understands the link between looking good, feeling good and doing good things.

This philosophy overflows into her work as the president and principal designer of her own graphic design firm.  Rock star that she is, she followed her dreams and began working for herself, on her own terms, as soon as she could.  She took a risk to pursue her passion; that everyone deserves to look good, especially small businesses and nonprofits with great vision, but limited resources.  With her artistic, creative strengths, Kendall had to step out of her comfort zone to learn the fundamentals of running a successful firm.  Her brave ambition did not overtake her common sense.  Kendall always asks for the expertise of others when she knows she needs it.

Curly Red Design

Confident, but far from proud, Kendall does what any music teacher would advise a blossoming musician to do: make mistakes loudly.  Whether in reference to her family, friends, future or finances, Kendall never hesitates to ask for prayer and support.  In fact, on numerous occasions, her inclination to just stop and listen for direction humbles me.  What impresses me most is that her first concern is always for someone else.  In rock star terms, she is loyal to her fans and never forgets the people who got her where she is or knew her when.  I can’t count how many times I have heard her request thoughts and prayers for her husband, her children, her parents, her siblings, for relationships to be healed, for hearts to be changed, for minds to be opened.  Her scope of concern is appropriately focused and yet selflessly large.  Just a few months ago she stepped forward and organized a bipartisan night of prayer at our small community church to simply sing and pray over our country and the election.  

This is only a snapshot of who Kendall is.  I barely touched on all the other ways she demonstrates leadership in her field and in her faith.  I hardly mentioned all that she does for her two sweet girls and her devoted husband.   I hope that from what you have learned about her you see that she is outstanding (not to mention rocking) in every way.  She certainly plays music she likes, but she first and foremost plays it for those that she loves.  I feel blessed that my daughters and I are some of those people and I feel inspired to tune up my talents for those in my life.  Kendall is proof positive that we can all be real life role models and perhaps even next Wednesday’s Woman.

Find today's Wednesday's Woman, Kendall, at CurlyRed a design blog, follow her on Twitter.

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A huge thank you to Kristin, who, with this post, reminds me to honor my creative-self.  I hope she has done the same for you:

Kristin blogs because she loves to write.  In addition to dabbling in fiction and sharing stories, she articulates anecdotes she observes in her boring, yet busy, happy little life as a stay-at-home mom.  Kristin is still figuring out what else she wants to be when she grows up and hopes, in some ways, she never finds it.  

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Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

10 for Dinner

Monday Listicles and Bridget are sharing who they’d invite to dinner--people either living or dead.  I’m playing along, but staying within reality, somewhat.  The people on my list are alive and possibly would accept a dinner invite from me.  Possibly.  I do think they would all be willing to eat a delivered pizza, so they're in...and for some other reasons as well.

10 People I’d Invite to Dinner

I - IV Chumlee, Rick, Corey, and the Old Man 

from Pawn Stars

Gold and Silver Pawn Shop

     for interesting stories

...

V   Lolo Jones

Lolo

     for inspiration

...

VI - VII  Corrie Ortner and Christa Weber

Corrie, Me, Christa, hot tub

     for old times and friendship

...

VIII - X  My family

Family

  for love 

...

Who would you invite to dinner?

photo credit: PetitPlat - Stephanie Kilgast via photo pin cc
photo credit: Sportech via photo pin cc
photo credit: Robert Rosenberg photography via photo pin cc

Wednesday's Woman: Preventing Child Sexual Abuse

My Body Belongs to Me, Jill Starishevsky

Today Joe Paterno, the famed Penn State football coach, was laid to rest.  There is controversy surrounding how he should be remembered.  Should his egregious oversight and failure to protect innocent children overshadow the good he has done?  We all have our opinions.  The best that can come from the child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State is awareness and prevention.  As long as we talk Paterno, we talk child sexual abuse.  And the conversation should not end until child sexual abuse ends.

To end childhood sexual abuse, there is work to be done beyond arguing over Paterno’s memory.  There must be discussion and action in order to protect children.  But it’s a scary topic.  As parents, we come to the table unarmed and without tools.  We hope and pray it doesn’t happen to our children.

But, hoping and praying are not enough.  We do not hope our children do not get hit by a car when crossing the street.  We teach them to safely cross the street to prevent them from being hit by a vehicle.  Similarly, child sexual abuse is a serious danger.  We must teach our children to keep their bodies safe to prevent them from becoming victims.

 

Jill Starishevsky, an Assistant District Attorney in New York City, is familiar with the serious need for child sexual abuse prevention and awareness.  She is featured today not only because of her work to prosecute hundreds of sex offenders and because of her fight for justice for the child victim, but also because of her willingness to give parents vital tools to be able to keep their children safe.  She is the author of a book for children ages 3-8 called, My Body Belongs to Me, which teaches children that their bodies are private.

Jill Starishevsky on the Oprah Winfrey show in April of 2011:

In the wake of the scandal at Penn State, she shared an interview she gave to ABC News in the past and asked all of her contacts to share it:

For me, her most impactful writing is a post at MyWorkButterfly:

10 Reasons Not to Discuss Child Sexual Abuse in 2012.

Because of her work and action to prevent child sexual abuse,  

Jill Starishevsky 

is this week's Wednesday’s Woman.

{This is the second article in my new series, Wednesday’s Woman.  Each week I will feature a story of an inspiring woman.  Last week I featured Corrie Ortner, a single mom who is helping an elderly neighbor rebuild her life after years of hoarding.  If you know someone who should be featured, please let me know!} 

Wednesday's Woman: Help for the Hoarder Next Door

{This is the first article in my new series, Wednesday’s Woman.  Each week I will feature a story of an inspiring woman.  If you know someone who should be featured, please let me know!} 

Corrie Ortner

  Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

~Maya Angelou

When I came up with the idea for Wednesday’s Woman, the first person I thought of was my friend Corrie Ortner.  I met Corrie on a Dave Matthew’s Band message board about seven years ago.  We connected instantly online, met up for a few DMB shows, and visited each other a few times before I left California in 2006.  We haven’t seen each other since a brief Spring Break meeting in Las Vegas in 2007 because she is in Oregon and I am in Ohio.  But we keep a close watch over each other on Facebook.

 

December 27, 2011, Corrie posted her first update about her elderly neighbor, who I will call Sandra (name changed for anonymity).  What started out as an update about a quick trip to Sandra's home to help her find her lost phone, has turned into a series of updates about an elderly woman who is a domestic violence survivor, scholar, aromatherapist, world traveler, and hoarder.  Corrie and her 10 year old daughter are cleaning out Sandra's home.  Corrie doesn’t have to do this.  Sandra didn’t ask for help.  

Facebook Update, December 27, 2011:

OK, friends. I need help. I just went over to my neighbor's to help her find her phone. . .She’s elderly and lives on SSI. Her place is in horrid condition. It looks like an episode of hoarders but all garbage-mostly paper stacked higher than the bed with a few paths going through. It's a small place-probably 450-500 sq feet-like a studio apt. . . She lives there with her dog-it doesn't look like she's washed her bedding or clothes in months. She also has bad pain (hip and knee) problems as well as depression issues. I want to find a way to get her help-or get a group of people together to go in and help her clean up. It seems like she wants to get it cleaned up... Ideas, suggestions anyone? 

Corrie received supportive comments on her December 27^th update and promises from locals to help. Friends from far away promised to send donations to put towards cleaning supplies.

Facebook Update, January 6, 2012:

 

Operation clean up the neighbor's house commences this weekend! DHS got involved and will check in again in a week and a half. I'd like to get it cleaned up and give her the chance to keep it that way through the next visit. Any help is greatly appreciated-we'll probably work Saturday and Sunday and into Monday and Tuesday if necessary. This won't be an easy task and will involve long sleeves, grubby clothes, gloves, and a dust mask if you're sensitive to dust, dander, etc. If you can't help with cleaning, any donation of cleaning products, boxes, garbage bags, etc would be appreciated. LMK if you can help out!

She's a very nice lady-this is a great opportunity to help someone in our community in need.

***  

Subsequent updates included the fact that she and her 10 year-old daughter had begun the clean-up and it was worse than what they imagined.

But there is progress being made.

And Corrie will continue until the job is done.

Corrie in her respirator

 ***

I contacted Corrie via Facebook last week asking her if it would be OK to feature her story here.  Following are excerpts from her replies:

Sure! Any awareness of the ordeals seniors go through in our society is very welcome! More updates later-I'm off to clean again right now. I'll take some progress pictures!

AND

Wanted to send a quick update with more info than I share on my posts. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of support. Sandra told me today that she really can't believe that all of these people who don't even know her are so generous. I told her that she had earned it.

My sister sent me $75 to help with supplies and my respirator. Someone I haven't seen in over 25 years has offered to pay to have her carpet cleaned or replaced. Another friend (in Oklahoma) is sending some money, underwear, socks, and toiletries. My aunt is sending a check on Monday to help with everything. I'm so touched-I can't even begin to explain how amazing all of this is. I wish I had more help from the local community, but I don't know a lot of people here so it's tough to get out there and find people to help.

I spent over an hour on the phone on Friday being referred from agency to agency, being given numbers to call for this, getting promises to call back, reaching agencies that are there to help seniors only to have to listen to a quickly spoken message with a lot of press 1 now, etc. After this, I'm not surprised that there are so many seniors in this country who don't receive help. Many are afraid that they'll be carted off to a home (the last resort), but I can't imagine how anyone with any type of cognitive or hearing impairment (many seniors) can navigate this system when I had a difficult time .

 

. . . Friday I found a water damaged purse in the closet where her water heater had flooded. It was a really cool hand tooled "hippie" purse-among the mushed molded papers, I found a menu from a pizza place in Queens, a flyer from a flea market at Picadilly Circus in London, two crystals, baggage claim tags from JFK, and a notebook. In the notebook, there was an entry from 1990 that went something like this: "Here I am in Sisters. I am safe and I am OK. I will be positive and do everything I can to save money until I can afford to move continue on with my life." Yet she's still here. She has two PhDs. Went to Stanford. Grew up in Pasadena and New York. Has lived in Atlanta, England (where she was an aromatherapist), NY, CA, and retired to Bend to train dogs. She left an abusive relationship to move to Sisters and left everything behind in the process. In sorting through her stuff, I've found half of her dishes are Waterford.

The details about her life are just what she's told me-I don't know if it's exaggerated or not, but by that age, I think that we all should be able to live out the rest of our life believing whatever we need to believe to keep us going. I keep finding more and more tidbits that confirm her facts. It's really amazing.

***

Being unemployed, Corrie faces many challenges in helping Sandra.  She doesn’t have the resources  that would make helping Sandra a little easier.  What Corrie does have is a genuine compassion for those who have suffered and struggle to live.  She puts her feelings of compassion into action.  This is something so many of us fail to do.  We spread the word, we send money, we write.  How many of us respond to someone in need with action?  We know of at least one. Her name is Corrie Ortner.

Corrie Ortner is Wednesday’s Woman.

To follow Corrie’s updates on the clean-up at Sandra's send her a friend request at Facebook.