Save It for Later: Women Veterans and Senators

Congratulations! You survived Election 2012.  It was exciting and great for women.  Here’s the best of what I bookmarked this week, all related to women and being American.  Happy Veterans Day!

Women Veterans

Veterans Advantage

According to Veterans Advantage, “Roughly 15% of today’s military are women, but military observers will tell you their influence is greater than their numbers suggest and it's growing.”  As you make your reflections for Veterans Day, be sure to remember some female military greats here: Saluting Women Who Served.

Rape in the Military

The Invisible War

Amy Ziering, producer of the film, The Invisible War, which sheds light on the epidemic of rape in the United States Military, states “There’s much about being raped in the military that’s categorically different from civilian rape.  In many ways it can be even more profoundly damaging. If you’re a civilian, you can seek immediate comfort and support from friends and family, you can seek recourse through an impartial criminal justice system, and you are not blamed and castigated if you report. What the public doesn't realize is that if you are raped in the military, you don’t have these options. Plus, it goes against the creed you've been taught—‘A good soldier doesn’t tell on a fellow soldier — good marines suck it up.’ All these things combined have kept so many victims from being able to talk about what happened to them,” (Los Angeles Post, June 26, 2012).

It is vital to raise awareness of the epidemic of rape in the military as we continue to strive in our country for the elimination of and healing from crimes against women.  For more information see the website, Not Invisible, where you can watch the trailer, request a screening, and obtain information on having your voice heard.

Celebrating Women Senators

Do you know all of the recently elected female U.S. Senators?  I love this presentation I found on Prezi:

Meet your Women Senators on Prezi

Let's Not Forget Our Widows

The American Widow Project

Back in April, Anna Mahler, a regular contributor to Wednesday's Woman spotlighted Taryn Davis, founder of the American Widow Project.  Veterans Day is certainly a time to keep our widows in our thoughts.

“While the service member’s sacrifice is acknowledged, many simply forget or fail to recognize the sacrifice of the spouse who is now left a widow of war. Often times the invisible wounds of military widows are disregarded due to age or a simple lack of knowledge and understanding." ~Taryn Davis

The American Widow Project provides peer to peer support for a new generation of military widows.  For more information go here: The American Widow Project. 

Women Do Not Belong in the Kitchen

This has nothing to do with the election or veterans.  I simply feel compelled to share.

The trouble with depression is indolence becomes my best friend.  Time with my best friend keeps me from doing things like chores, exercising, reading, and the like.  However, depression and its accompanying sloth does give a great excuse for leaving the dishes, which I despise doing.  

These dishes have been accumulating since Thursday,
a true, off-line, Save It for Later.

Even though I am happy to report that I am gaining momentum (yesterday I raked leaves and cleaned out my car with the help of my youngest daughter, Antonia), I could not bring myself to tackle that sink. This morning, my significant other did it for me.  Thanks, M.  I seriously do not belong in the kitchen.


Save It for Later is a regular feature sharing the week's best bookmarks that I saved to read later.

Five Places to Make Home

Living in a typical American town, I imagine I have typical items in my home.  I have a couch, a few chairs, and a table where my family gathers for meals, kitchen appliances and electronics.  For today’s Monday Listicles, which has the theme of 10 Things in My Home, I wonder what I can share that will be of interest? I do have dogs, but that’s not unusual.  There are tidy spots and spaces that are disasters.  Typical, typical, typical. 

My younger daughter started 7^th grade last month and my older daughter is a freshman.  Lately, my significant other and I have been discussing whether or not we will stay here six years from now when the girls are finished with high school.  It’s a fun discussion, full of hopes, dreams, and sometimes good ol’ boring reality.  The reality being we would have to fix up our current house in order to sell it, in order to move.

Here’s a list of 5 places we’ve thought of moving after the girls graduate from high school:

The Short North

The Short North – We live in a little municipality that is surrounded by the city.  It’s beautiful with historic homes and very mature trees, but the taxes are high, and we never really feel like we fit in.  We feel at ease when we are downtown among the galleries, the fun eateries and venues for live music—the trendy neighborhood Columbus, Ohio calls the Short North.

Louisville, KY – My significant other grew up in Southern Indiana, across the river from Louisville.  He spent much of his early 20’s living and working there, and we spent many weekends there when we were courting.  He’s feeling called to go there.  I wouldn’t mind at all.  I grew up along the same river, just a few hundred miles north.  I get it.  The river means home.

Savannah, Georgia – One evening we went so far as to explore homes for sale in Savannah--online, not actually in Georgia.  The homes are too expensive for us to afford.  But we found out that we could afford a small (better described as tiny), rental on Tybee Island, on the water.  The sun and the south.  This is high on my fantasy list, for sure.

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Tennessee – Not sure why Tennessee.  Maybe it’s because I saw a documentary on HBO called One Nation Under Dog that featured a woman who has this amazing space in Tennessee where she makes art and rescues dogs.  Seems like a dream world to me.

Chicago, Illinois – I lived in Chicago during my early twenties.  I usually say I grew up there because I literally grew up while living there.  I had to do grown up things in order to pay rent and survive.  It was difficult, but I loved it.  And Chicago has it all--friendly people, arts, commerce, bodies of water, history, and . . . wait.  I forgot about the winters.  This one will probably be the first to be removed from the list when it’s time to decide.

Here’s 5 things I will have to do to my house before moving:

Clean this light fixture – When I happen to look up from the table where I write and where we have meals, I am quite mortified.  I’ve been meaning to clean this thing forever.  Today may be the day.

The plumbing – I don’t know exactly what is wrong with it.  It wasn’t right when I bought the house six years ago, but I didn’t know that until I moved in.  I bought the house while living in California and thought too much of my realtor.  She really got me good with the inspections that passed but shouldn’t have.

The electrical stuff – Again with the lousy realtor.  How this home passed inspection is beyond me.  If you run the hair dryer, half the house loses power.  If you run the microwave and the vacuum at the same time, the entire house loses power.

Refinish the floors –I love me some wood floors.  Ours are icky, and need refinished.  Anyone want to do me a favor?

Something with the chimney — It was disclosed that there was an issue with the chimney.  I haven’t gotten it looked at to figure it out and have it repaired.  A cozy fire may be appealing to future owners.

There's more.

Actually, the list of things that need to be done to this house before I could sell it is enormous and overwhelming.  I’m going back to my first list, the list of places I’d like to move to after the girls graduate.  For me, it's more fun to fantasize about a freshly painted rental in an ideal location than to contemplate fixing things in this old house.

After this one is sold, I will never own a house again . . . ever.

“Hello, Mr. Landlord, the toilet is clogged.  Would you mind?”

photo credit: emdot via photopin cc

photo credit: OZinOH via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: Help for the Hoarder Next Door

{This is the first article in my new series, Wednesday’s Woman.  Each week I will feature a story of an inspiring woman.  If you know someone who should be featured, please let me know!} 

Corrie Ortner

  Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.

~Maya Angelou

When I came up with the idea for Wednesday’s Woman, the first person I thought of was my friend Corrie Ortner.  I met Corrie on a Dave Matthew’s Band message board about seven years ago.  We connected instantly online, met up for a few DMB shows, and visited each other a few times before I left California in 2006.  We haven’t seen each other since a brief Spring Break meeting in Las Vegas in 2007 because she is in Oregon and I am in Ohio.  But we keep a close watch over each other on Facebook.

 

December 27, 2011, Corrie posted her first update about her elderly neighbor, who I will call Sandra (name changed for anonymity).  What started out as an update about a quick trip to Sandra's home to help her find her lost phone, has turned into a series of updates about an elderly woman who is a domestic violence survivor, scholar, aromatherapist, world traveler, and hoarder.  Corrie and her 10 year old daughter are cleaning out Sandra's home.  Corrie doesn’t have to do this.  Sandra didn’t ask for help.  

Facebook Update, December 27, 2011:

OK, friends. I need help. I just went over to my neighbor's to help her find her phone. . .She’s elderly and lives on SSI. Her place is in horrid condition. It looks like an episode of hoarders but all garbage-mostly paper stacked higher than the bed with a few paths going through. It's a small place-probably 450-500 sq feet-like a studio apt. . . She lives there with her dog-it doesn't look like she's washed her bedding or clothes in months. She also has bad pain (hip and knee) problems as well as depression issues. I want to find a way to get her help-or get a group of people together to go in and help her clean up. It seems like she wants to get it cleaned up... Ideas, suggestions anyone? 

Corrie received supportive comments on her December 27^th update and promises from locals to help. Friends from far away promised to send donations to put towards cleaning supplies.

Facebook Update, January 6, 2012:

 

Operation clean up the neighbor's house commences this weekend! DHS got involved and will check in again in a week and a half. I'd like to get it cleaned up and give her the chance to keep it that way through the next visit. Any help is greatly appreciated-we'll probably work Saturday and Sunday and into Monday and Tuesday if necessary. This won't be an easy task and will involve long sleeves, grubby clothes, gloves, and a dust mask if you're sensitive to dust, dander, etc. If you can't help with cleaning, any donation of cleaning products, boxes, garbage bags, etc would be appreciated. LMK if you can help out!

She's a very nice lady-this is a great opportunity to help someone in our community in need.

***  

Subsequent updates included the fact that she and her 10 year-old daughter had begun the clean-up and it was worse than what they imagined.

But there is progress being made.

And Corrie will continue until the job is done.

Corrie in her respirator

 ***

I contacted Corrie via Facebook last week asking her if it would be OK to feature her story here.  Following are excerpts from her replies:

Sure! Any awareness of the ordeals seniors go through in our society is very welcome! More updates later-I'm off to clean again right now. I'll take some progress pictures!

AND

Wanted to send a quick update with more info than I share on my posts. I'm overwhelmed by the amount of support. Sandra told me today that she really can't believe that all of these people who don't even know her are so generous. I told her that she had earned it.

My sister sent me $75 to help with supplies and my respirator. Someone I haven't seen in over 25 years has offered to pay to have her carpet cleaned or replaced. Another friend (in Oklahoma) is sending some money, underwear, socks, and toiletries. My aunt is sending a check on Monday to help with everything. I'm so touched-I can't even begin to explain how amazing all of this is. I wish I had more help from the local community, but I don't know a lot of people here so it's tough to get out there and find people to help.

I spent over an hour on the phone on Friday being referred from agency to agency, being given numbers to call for this, getting promises to call back, reaching agencies that are there to help seniors only to have to listen to a quickly spoken message with a lot of press 1 now, etc. After this, I'm not surprised that there are so many seniors in this country who don't receive help. Many are afraid that they'll be carted off to a home (the last resort), but I can't imagine how anyone with any type of cognitive or hearing impairment (many seniors) can navigate this system when I had a difficult time .

 

. . . Friday I found a water damaged purse in the closet where her water heater had flooded. It was a really cool hand tooled "hippie" purse-among the mushed molded papers, I found a menu from a pizza place in Queens, a flyer from a flea market at Picadilly Circus in London, two crystals, baggage claim tags from JFK, and a notebook. In the notebook, there was an entry from 1990 that went something like this: "Here I am in Sisters. I am safe and I am OK. I will be positive and do everything I can to save money until I can afford to move continue on with my life." Yet she's still here. She has two PhDs. Went to Stanford. Grew up in Pasadena and New York. Has lived in Atlanta, England (where she was an aromatherapist), NY, CA, and retired to Bend to train dogs. She left an abusive relationship to move to Sisters and left everything behind in the process. In sorting through her stuff, I've found half of her dishes are Waterford.

The details about her life are just what she's told me-I don't know if it's exaggerated or not, but by that age, I think that we all should be able to live out the rest of our life believing whatever we need to believe to keep us going. I keep finding more and more tidbits that confirm her facts. It's really amazing.

***

Being unemployed, Corrie faces many challenges in helping Sandra.  She doesn’t have the resources  that would make helping Sandra a little easier.  What Corrie does have is a genuine compassion for those who have suffered and struggle to live.  She puts her feelings of compassion into action.  This is something so many of us fail to do.  We spread the word, we send money, we write.  How many of us respond to someone in need with action?  We know of at least one. Her name is Corrie Ortner.

Corrie Ortner is Wednesday’s Woman.

To follow Corrie’s updates on the clean-up at Sandra's send her a friend request at Facebook.

A Morning in the Life

Day two of the “About Me” blogging exercise.  Routine and rituals are important for kids.  I thought if you had a glimpse of our morning routine, complete with most rituals, you’d get to know Sperk* a bit better.  Here’s a timeline:

6:00 a.m.             

• Open Eyes, check to see if breathing, if yes, continue
• Make Sophia breakfast which consists of a Balance Bar and a cup of 2% milk

                            

6:15 a.m.               

• Wake Sophia 
• Sit across the table from Sophia, both have our laptops, and discuss what we have found interesting online 
• Play Fashion Story, WordFeud, and Words with Friends
• Check Twitter, read articles and blogs of interest, save thought-provoking items in Diigo
• Check Cozi Family Calendar

                     

                             

                   

 6:45 a.m.              

• Sophia gets ready for school
• Open Spotify
• Pack Sophia's lunch which usually consists of a sandwich with processed meat, cheese, and mustard; apples (sometimes strawberries); carrots; a bag of chips; and a Horizon Organic Chocolate milk

 

7:00 a.m.              

• Tend to Sophia’s wardrobe, chore, and after school requests/needs
• Let dogs out. (Bexley has an ordinance wherein residents cannot have barking dogs out before 7am or I would do it sooner)

7:15 a.m.              

• Make Antonia’s breakfast (same as Sophia’s)
• Let dogs in

7:25 a.m.              

• Wake Antonia 

 

7:30 a.m.               

• Drive one mile with Sophia in passenger seat of car. Drop her at BMS.

7:35 a.m.             

• Home. Listen to Antonia’s complaints which usually consist of, “I am tired, I have a headache, and my nose is stuffy," because she is usually tired and is allergic to our Chihuahuas
• Let dogs out (they have tiny bladders)

7:45 a.m.              

• Encourage Antonia to get ready for school
• Pack her lunch (Same as Sophia's)
• Let Dogs in
• Play Fashion Story, WordFeud, Words with Friends; fold laundry (if necessary), Tweet, read something online and share to Twitter or email via Shareaholic           

8:20 a.m.              

• Yell to Antonia’s bedroom that she has to be at school in five minutes

8:25 a.m. 

• Frantically put Antonia’s lunchbox into her backpack that she carries from her room once she emerges

                            

 8:26 a.m.               

• Yell things like “I love you!” and “Have a great day!” very loudly out the door to Antonia as she walks down the street heading towards school

 8:25 a.m.               

•  Let dogs out

               

Good Morning

A sunny October morning in Bexley, Ohio.  I drove up to my house after dropping off my daughter at school and noticed, not for the first time, that the house needs painted.  I entered through the front door into the tiny living space to find my younger daughter sitting at the kitchen table staring down at her plate which held a cookie dough flavored Balance bar.  It was accompanied by a red Fiestaware coffee cup full of 2% milk.  She was still waking up.  I couldn't decide if I wanted to finish making her lunch, check to see if anyone made a move on WordFeud, or go to the bathroom.  So I let the dogs out.  It had been at least 20 minutes since they ate and surely it was time to offer them some relief of their little organs.  With Scruffy, Tina, and Frodo outside yapping at the wind and annoying the neighbors, I decided to ask Antonia if she wanted the straightener plugged in.  I thought she may feel better about the day if her hair was done.  She typically just brushes it and it looks good--she's beautiful--but I was attempting to be a supportive mother.  "What would help her through the day?"  And unlike the exterior of the house which will have to be put on hold, her exterior can be updated, or spruced up, in order to maintain hope throughout a busy autumn school day.  I felt it was the least I could do to contribute to her mood.  To help elevate it and make her energized and excited about life.  Sometimes, moms can't leave well enough alone, for she typically perks up in time to leave for school and walks with a spring in her step for the entire one block journey.  It's just those moments when I think there may be something less than happy abound, I need to fix it.  Even though I know better.