Save It for Later: Topics that Wore Me Out

 In Save It for Later Saturday, you're getting the best of my "read later" list from the week.  I have been unable to get these up on Saturdays and am changing the name to simply "Save It for Later."  This gives me the option to post on any day of the weekend.  Check back weekly for updates and enjoy.


 

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Although I had the most incredible week which included an outpouring of support for my post on child sexual abuse and the Church, continuing to create meaningful connections with other bloggers, both of my girls getting all A’s on their report cards, the sun shining, and the winter blues diminishing, I still had the need to shut it all down for a day.   I had a therapist once tell me that if I felt like I needed to stay in bed and had an opportunity to do so, to go ahead and do it.  That’s exactly what I did yesterday.  I needed it and feel better for it.

Here are two topics from the week that wrought my mind with contemplation (and wore me out) and deserve more conversation:

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1)  On Monday, April 9, Ashley Judd responded to the viral media attention to her puffy face.  Her words were compelling, intelligent, and a thought provoking observation on our culture’s view and treatment of women.  Read it here, then read then read Morgan Shanahan’s personal reflection on Judd’s response here.  Shanahan’s reaction is compelling because she outs her own self in engaging in the very behavior Judd knocks:

"Reading her words began to feel incredibly uncomfortable as I was forced to realize that I am as much a propagator of this epidemic as I have felt a victim of it. . . . I thought back to this recent post I'd written...and was acutely aware of not only the fact that I'd thought it about another woman, then published it, but also that the high volume of clickthroughs had made me happy, as if I'd succeeded at something."

As bloggers, we all want “clickthroughs”.  What are we willing to do to get them?  

As parents, how do we raise our children in a world in which, as Judd describes, has an“abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies”:

"This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women."

If we succumb to the requests of our tween and teen daughters to enhance their looks in order to fit in, are we part of the problem?  I don't think the issue is that black and white.  This conundrum as it comes up in parenting is explored in Fitting In, by Literal Mom, and in Step Away from the Confetti Cannon, by Sisterhood of the SensibleMoms.  Give them a read and ponder what we can do in order to combat the problems of our patriarchal world as well as raise empowered daughters.

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2)  We are 15 days into April, the month known for that unavoidable headache--taxes.  April is also Child Abuse Prevention Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month.  Child abuse and sexual assault are headaches of a different kind, but like taxes, affect all of us.  I created a pinboard with resources and ask you to share it with others.  

When I started Sperk* last late October, I had no intention of delving into the topic of child sexual abuse (CSA) nor disclosing the fact that I am an adult survivor.  To say the least, the cat is out of the bag.  Because of it, I am making connections to other survivors of child abuse in all of its forms, and the experience has been incredibly moving and empowering. 

This week, my blogging partner in writing my weekly feature, Wednesday’s Woman, Anna Mahler, shared her child abuse survivor story, I Have My Reasons, her blog The Mommy Padawan.  It is a strong piece and received recognition at the weekly writer’s competition yeah write.  It was a well-deserved kudos and I was happy to see this type of story recognized.  

Also from yeah write, making it into the top five popular vote, was So You've Been Through Hell-Now What?, by CSA survivor Angela Shelton.  She questions how to find balance when helping others amidst our own healing and meeting our needs for self-care.  She recounts a day wherein her desire to stay anonymous as an advocate for victims of sexual abuse during a much needed massage is circumvented by her friend, a "traveling P.R. firm."  Angela chooses to lend support not because she was outed, but because she knows we can never be off-duty in the plight against child sexual abuse.  Her story also amplifies the need for survivors to also take care of themselves.  She states, “Hell can consume you, if you let it.  Or you can choose to let it go.”

My hell was thwarted by a day of rest.  Now, on this beautiful Sunday, I am continuing my plight of self-care by heading out to catch a glimpse of the Goodale fountain which has just been turned on for the season.  Following I just may stop by the Park Street Tavern. The chores and to do list will be here when I return.  Besides, now that Instagram is on Android and Facebook, going out is an opportunity to provide you visually appealing stuff.  I am surely tired of photos of my dogs, my tiny little house, and the sky from my front porch brought to you via my 365Project.  

Have a great week!

Save It for Later Saturday: Kony Conundrum

I welcome you back to Save It for Later Saturday!  I have not posted one of these weekly overviews since February 6^th.  Why, you ask?  The answer is because I have a severe case of procrastination-distraction. 

In the past month (or more), I have gotten so caught up in reading the articles in my Diigo “read later” list that I ran out of time to compose timely summaries before the new weeks began.  I often thought that a late Sunday night SaveIt for Later Saturday would be perceived as a conundrum.  And maybe it is.  

co·nun·drum [kuh-nuhn-druhm]

anything that puzzles

Yes, it is Sunday. In fact it is Monday in many parts of the world.  However, it behooves me to do a little reviewing of my “read later” list before I move into the new week.  It clears my brain, making room for more to be invited to the information party happening in my head. More so, I am attempting to gain blogging discipline.  And it starts right now.

Let's talk about a another conundrum, Kony 2012.

The Kony 2012 campaign has lost a little steam in the realm of attention.  But I think it deserves more examination.  Currently with over 82 million views, the InvisibleChildren video, a short film about brutal Lord’s Resistance Army leader, Joseph Kony, went viral after its March 5, 2012 upload to YouTube.  Since then there has been an outpouring of support for and criticism of the movement. 

I talked with my children about the campaign to gain a sense of how much attention it was getting in their schools.  I wanted to be sure they were approaching the topic with critical and practical thinking.  After discussing the possible positive and negative outcomes, Sophia, my 13 year old, said, “I do not see anything wrong with it if it brings awareness to the topic.  If it brings attention to the issues in Uganda, then it will bring attention to other situations like it all over the world.”

Good point.  Maybe Kony 2012 will raise awareness of the numerous cases of domestic sex trafficking in the United Sates or the epidemic of child sexual abuse that is happening in our own neighborhoods.

Even better points have been made by the people of Africa and they are insightful, interesting and worthy of reading.  And why wouldn’t they be?  These are the voices of people who actually live there and work in opposition to the LRA on a daily basis.  If we want to be well-informed, we shouldn’t stop at viewing the Invisible Children film.  They only got it partially right.  And it feeds our “savior complex”.  

If you read only one more article about Kony 2012, read this one by Solome Lemma.

And now we have a problem with one of the Invisible Children filmmakers, Jason Russell.  Apparently he has been hospitalized for “exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition, after having a very disturbing public meltdown that involved nudity and vandalism.  I see mental-health issues all over this one, although sources close to Russell deny it to be a factor. 

Whether the issue is mental-illness, physical illness, or addiction illness does not matter.  What matters is that Russell’s public breakdown brings to light that Americans 1) harbor resentment for people of success and devour them like prey when problems arise, and 2) prefer to make a joke of problems at home while feeling important for buying a $1 wrist band to “help” an international cause.  

Instead of using Russell’s sad display for entertainment, why don’t we explore what happens to those we harshly criticize via social media?  It seems to me to be one big bullying incident.  And we all know that bullying is a big problem in America.

If my name was Cinderella, my carriage would now be a pumpkin.  It's 12:03 a.m. which means it's Monday. Check back next week to see if I get Save It for Later Saturday posted on, um, Saturday.

See you next week!

photo credit: elycefeliz via photopin cc

Save It for Later Saturday: Empowering Your Princess

In Save It for Later Saturday you’re getting a brief run-down of the stand-outs from my week's "Read Later" list.  This week, like last week, please replace the word Saturday with Monday.  I thought about skipping my weekly recap all together due to its lateness.  However, my penchant for perseverance will not allow it to be.  Reality, though, is an unavoidable nuisance, and I must tend to other Monday duties.  So this week’s Save It for Later Saturday is brief.

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist of the stereotypical kind, but I am very passionate about female empowerment.  When I came across this article shared by @DrPriceMitchell, I knew it would be one I would include in this week’s review.  In 10 Wonderful Quotes from Women, Dennis E. Coats, Ph.D. give us his favorite quotes from famous females after acknowledging that, “Women raised the family. Men went out into the world, got educated and went to work. And so it has been mostly the voices of men that were recorded throughout history.” I was pleased to see included in his list a quote from one of my favorite authors, Anaïs Nin: 

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” 

One of the reasons I began Sperk* is because I saw blogging on a list of 100 ways to be a feminist.  Blogging takes courage.  No one knows this better than my fellow bloggers.  Let’s take it a step further and begin quoting each other.  Maybe one day it will be written that it has been mostly the voices of women that were recorded throughout history.

Continuing to focus on the topic of feminism, I bring you Princess debate part two: Peggy Orenstein on culture, gender, and parenting from Washington Post reporter Janice D'Arcy. D'Arcy interviews Peggy Orenstein, author Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girly-Girl Culture, which was released in paperback last week.  In the article, Orenstein reflects on the differences between girls and boys, the trouble with gender specific marketing (including the LEGO Friends controversy), and shares her insight about allowing ourselves to be true to our own visions for our daughters. 

In Dear Middle School Girl, Shannon Torrence uses wit and empathy to challenge girls to look within to become person who is being stirred by the voice inside:

Listen to and trust your own inner voice.  Act accordingly.  Do not try to be someone you are not.  Do not for a second think that anyone else is any better or cooler or more interesting than you are.  No one is perfect, but everyone has something wonderful to offer this world.  The point is not to be the coolest, most attractive, best-dressed kid in school; it’s to be a kind, thoughtful, responsible and compassionate human being.

Dear Middle School Girl is a great read filled with brilliant reminders not only for our daughters, but also for us as we navigate parenting through the middle school years.  I am thrilled to have discovered at Michelle in the Middle which was shared by Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms on that most powerful tool for the dissemination of information, Twitter.

See you next Saturday.

photo credit: Gabriela Camerotti via photopin cc

Save It for Later Saturday: Teens on Google+, Early Ed, and Picnik

In Save It for Later Saturday you’re getting a brief run-down of the stand-outs from my week's "Read Later" list.  This week, please replace the word Saturday with Monday.  I took the weekend off and watched movies while lounging on the couch with my dogs.  Don’t you love January?  You’ll love the best of my “Read Later” list from Diigo.

There are plenty of opinions on teens and social media.  In Driving Online Without a License I outlined my own opinion and experience with introducing Facebook to my daughter.  In short, I think that teens should use social media. But, just as parents set guidelines for social behavior when teens leave the house, guidelines must be set for social online behavior.  One way to create boundaries for online behavior is to establish rules for content sharing. Last week, Google announced that Google+ will now be open for teens ages 13-18 and created a different set of safety features for the age group.  I recommend going through the privacy settings on Google+ with your teen as she sets up her account.  Any interaction you have with your teen while she is online enhances her media literacy skills, her knowledge of online etiquette (netiquette), and provides opportunities for discussing what is deemed appropriate to share.  You can explore Google+ Features for teens in the Google+ Safety Center, download A Parent's Guide to Google+ from ConnectSafely.org, or read an in depth article by Larry Magid at Huffington Post.  

Speaking of teens, during last week’s State of the Union Address, President Obama proposed that in order to decrease the high school dropout rate, states should require students to attend high school until they graduate or turn 18 (currently only 21 states have this as a requirement).  Increasing graduation rates is good for the economy and I am for anything that helps kids stay in school.  However, as Henry M. Levin and Cecilia E. Rouse point out in the New York Times, the answer to school completion lies in quality early learning.  Additionally, researchers are discovering that early learning is significant to living a successful life beyond one’s school career.  If you are interested in finding out your state’s policy on early education, you can find information in the NAEYC's State Early Care and Education Public Policy Developments: Fiscal Year 2012.

Another announcement came from Google last week that may have upset more than a few.  The popular photo editing tool, Picnik, will no longer be available.  Fear not.  David Byrne, at Free Technology for Teachers offers a great list of alternatives including, FlauntR, GooEdit, and more.  You can find a complete list of Google product changes here.

See you next Saturday.

photo credit: Stuck in Customs via photopin cc
photo credit: kevin dooley via photopin cc
photo credit: Thomas Hawk via photopin cc

Save It for Later Saturday: the Election, Conflict Resolution, and Reassurance

In Save It for Later Saturday you’re getting a brief run-down of the stand-outs from my week's "Read Later" list. 

This week during one of our dinner conversations, my daughters fired off questions about the presidential election.  The questions were not difficult to answer.  I understand the electoral process.  But the questions were difficult for me to clearly answer in a way that was meaningful to them.  There’s a lot to the electoral process and they were not aware of much beyond voting, counting, and winning.  How much do your kids really know about the electoral process and how much of the electoral process can you accurately explain? 

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Scholastic News recently launched Election 2012 which provides answers to all election related questions.  The content is accurate, easy to read, and will capture the interest of school aged kids and adolescents.  The site combines information from Scholastic News with reporting by the Scholastic News Kid Reporters.  You’ll also find election-related games, polls, videos, and an interactive map that tracks the primary voting across the country.  Next time your kids are online, tell them you’d like to explore Scholastic News Election 2012 with them.  Get them involved and excited about this important time for our country.

If you have more than one child, it is certain there will be conflicts between them.  Siblings argue.  It’s normal.  It is wise to let kids figure out how to solve conflicts on their own.  But if they do not have tools in conflict resolution, you can't expect them to effectively settle disputes. 

In the current issue of the NAEYC's Teaching Young Children, Sharma Whitchurch and Jackie Sprague provide a great strategy for conflict resolution within the early learning environment.  The strategy, the daily designation of a student "Problem Solver", can be easily implemented into the home.  And the plan doesn’t need to be reserved for young children.  Older children, adolescents, and even adult members of the family will benefit from it.  I encourage you to look over The Problem Solver Job: Peer-Mediated Conflict Resolution and give it a try at home.

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Once you have your kids up to date on the electoral process and well-trained at conflict resolution, you will feel reassured that you are one great parent, right?  But then one of your kids asks, “Is Barack Obama running for president?” and the other kid smacks him on the head and calls him “stupid.”  You may feel as if all the time you spent was pointless.  So you turn to your blog to vent, check the stats and see your views are down for the day by 50%.  You think, “Oh well, at least I’ve been sticking to my resolution to run every day.”  You go to your scale, jump on and find you’ve gained one pound.  Where is the proof that you are doing something right?

My advice?  Read Seth Godin's post, The problem with reassurance.  After, give your kids a hug, write your next blog post, and go for a run.

See you next Saturday.

   

Save It for Later Saturday: Open Classroom, LEGO Friends, and Pinterest

I am excited by information.  Every time a tweet with a link shows up in my feed, I click, it appears, and a great rush overtakes me.  I enthusiastically begin to read, yet there is always something waiting to distract me:  another tweet, an email, or a dog scratching at the back door. 

Thankfully my Diigo toolbar never fails me.  I click “Read Later,” throw in some random tags, designate the article to a list, and it is added to my endlessly increasing inventory of great reads from the Web.  But when do I read them?

Saturday.

By the time Saturday arrives, the items I have chosen to save for later have accumulated into a sizable catalog that rivals the overwhelming lump of laundry that is thrown in the corner of my room.  And because I find catching up on the week’s reading a priority over a clean cardigan, you now have Save It for Later Saturday.

In Save It for Later Saturday you’re getting a brief run-down of the stand-outs from my week's "Read Later" list.

airport

One of my favorites on Twitter is @timbuckteeth, aka Steve Wheeler, Associate Professor of learning technology in the Faculty of Health, Education and Society at Plymouth University.  His background in e-learning is extensive.  He is a vanguard in the field of educational technology.

In Open door classrooms, Professor Wheeler challenges us to look beyond the classroom where learning is restricted to a teacher and students behind a closed door: 

It is happening in some schools. Many schools are using videoconferencing links to connect with schools in other countries to facilitate cultural exchange and language learning. The next step would be to enable live web streaming, dynamic social networking and Twitter backchannels to operate while classroom sessions are in progress. Think of all the archived learning resources that could be generated for later, on demand use. Think of all the live interaction, dialogue and discussion that could take place during such lessons.

The causes for obstacles in creating open door classrooms are surprising.  After reading Professor Wheeler's article at Learning with 'e's, you will want to email your school's Superintendent which will provide you with a voice in making decisions about your child's future.

On Thursday night I was busy writing about Sydney Spies' senior photo that she submitted to be published in her high school’s yearbook.  While I was speaking out for mothers to support their daughters in expressing themselves beyond their sexuality,  Nancy Gruver, founder of New Moon Girls, was hosting a #GirlsNow Tweet chat to discuss LEGO Friends.  Perhaps if toys were marketed differently to girls, they would not grow up thinking their self-worth is limited to stereotypes.

I think the LEGO Friends controversy is valid and significant.  We should take note of what toys we purchase if we want to change the way our young women see themselves. Parents play an important role in shaping a child’s vision of what she can do with her life.  And in LEGO Friends vs. LEGO Education: What's the Lesson Here?, Empowered by Play gives weighty reasons why understanding the LEGO Friends controversy is vital to understanding girls.

 

I finally received my Pinterest invitation yesterday.  In the middle of carefully, and sometimes randomly, selecting things to pin, I stumbled upon some tips from Mashable’s Stephanie Buck in Pinterest: 13 Tips for Cutting Edge Users.  I found the pointers helpful and even a seasoned user will pick up good ideas.  After devouring the article, I pinned some great infographics I found at Good. Have I told you that I love infographics?

See you next Saturday!