Wednesday's Woman: A Call to Action

This week’s Wednesday's Woman was written and submitted by Anna Mahler, of The Mommy Padawan.  I am certain you get the “Mommy” part.  But are you familiar with the term “Padawan”? 

A "padawan" is a term for “student” taken from the film Star Wars.  I think the title of Anna’s blog is fitting.  She is a careful observer of life and looks to her experiences for opportunities to grow as a woman, wife, and mother.  She sees her three year old son as her greatest teacher.  

  

Students learn most through their experiences teaching others.  Anna is no exception.  She shares the wisdom she has gained as a wife and mother in her ebook You are Loved - Caring for Our Children, Families, and Ourselves with Loving Kindness.   

Her philosophy of self-care allows her to create a harmonious home.  Self-care also allows her to recognize the importance of sharing her uplifting attitudes with the readers of her blog.  I encourage you to spend time at The Mommy Padawan where you will find a voice of authenticity, grace, warmth and courage.

Today, Anna tells the story of Lisa Shannon, founder of A Thousand Sister’s.  Anna states, “Lisa Shannon is an amazing example of what can happen when one person decides to take action.”  

I am grateful Anna decided to “take action” and be the first to guest post for Wednesday's Woman.

Wednesday's Woman, Lisa Shannon

by Anna Mahler

When first learning about horrible suffering going on in different places in the world, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless. It can seem as though, when something is happening so far away, so many are suffering and I am only one person, what good can I really do?

Lisa Shannon is an amazing example of what can happen when one person decides to take action.

At home in Portland in 2005, Lisa first learned about the epidemic of rape and suffering in Congo while watching an episode of Oprah.  That day, Lisa went online to Women For Women International and sponsored two sisters. Wanting to do more, she single handedly started the Run For Congo Women to raise funds for additional sponsorships.  But she also did this to send a message; that these women did matter. They were not forgotten or worthless (as the militia there would want them to believe). The first year, she ran alone but raised almost twenty eight thousand dollars. Today, there are runs and walks for Congolese women taking place all over the United States, bringing sponsorship, aid and hope to women survivors.

The DR of Congo has been termed the worst place on earth to be a woman.  Organized rape, torture and murder is an everyday reality. Many women have also lost children due to sickness or poor living conditions while hiding from the militia's attacks in the jungle. As a women, I am beyond saddened and outraged by this. As a mother, I am horrified and shaken to the core.

It's hard to read the stories Lisa Shannon brings back from her visits to the Congo and it's impossible for me to read her website without feeling the darkness of the lives of the surviving women and children. But we need to know their stories, because these women do matter.

In 2007, Lisa traveled to Eastern Congo and returned again in May 2008 and February 2010.  Her book, A Thousand Sisters, is the story of her journey as well as those of her Congo sisters, many she was able to meet in person. At times, feeling her efforts were like “tossing teaspoons on water on a raging fire”, Lisa has never given up helping the Congolese women and their families,  raising awareness and even bringing the cause to the doorstep of the American Government. 

Lisa Shannon: A Thousand Sisters:My Journey into the Worst Place on Earth to be a Woman from Expanded Books on Vimeo.

Named the 2006 Hero of Running by “Runner’s World” magazine, Lisa Shannon is currently an ambassador for Women for Women International and was recently named one of the twenty most powerful women in the world by O Magazine.

This was accomplished by one woman who became aware of a horrible situation and decided to act.

Living proof that one person can make a difference.

You can learn more about Lisa and her visit to the Congo by watching the video at A Thousand Sisters.

Do you want to run for Congo women?  Go to  Run for Congo Women.

Learn about sponsoring and changing a woman's life at Women for Women.

*How sponsoring through Women for Women International works: A portion of the monthly sponsorship amount is given directly to a woman for basic needs but the women are also provided classes on woman's rights, literacy, nutrition, family planning and vocational training. Finally, a portion of the money donated is put in to a savings account the women can use to invest in a business once they graduate from the training courses. An equally important part of the sponsorship also involves receiving and sending letters to your sponsored sister in the Congo and this has also helped to give hope and let a woman who is truly suffering know, she is not forgotten, she is not alone.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.  

Do you know a Wednesday's Woman?  Contact me for a guest post.

**Read past Wednesday's Woman features!**

Who Are Your 5 Favorite Females?

The International Women's Day celebration continues today at The Good Life's famous blogging meme, Monday Listicles.  The female-themed topic was open to interpretation, so I began by listing women who have impacted my life.  I struggled to categorize them into a single classification and then it occurred to me: all of these women are creative.  

Who Inspires You?  Complete my list!


Because I also receive creative inspiration from my readers and the women in my blogging community, I edited my list down to five, and am asking you to finish the list by submitting five women who inspire your creativity in the comments.  This is a great way to discover more female inspiration that we may have been missing.

10 Women Who Inspire
 Courage and Creativity

Martha Graham – dancer, choreographer, artistic director

"Great dancers are not great because of their technique, they are great because of their passion."

Founder of the Martha Graham Dance Company, “Graham and her Company have expanded contemporary dance’s vocabulary of movement and forever altered the scope of the art form by rooting works in contemporary social, political, psychological, and sexual contexts, deepening their impact and resonance.”  As a former dancer, Graham is one of my heroes.  I had the opportunity to see her in the early 1990’s when company members escorted her onto stage during the curtain call of a performance for the opening celebration of the Wexner Center for the Arts.  Her creative work and her powerful words are a mainstay source for my own courage and inspiration.

Jen Thorpe - feminist, scholar, advocate, activist  

“I’m committed to making women’s lives better. Whether that is through research, or writing or shouting from the rooftops.”

You can find Jen Thorpe’s thought provoking commentary at her blog: Mail and Guardian, her website giving voice to women’s issues in South Africa: FeministSA, and the writing project allowing over 80 women to express how their “first time” has impacted their life: My First Time.  My favorite space of hers is My First Time. Visit it, read it, and consider contributing to it.

Erin McKeown

Erin McKeown – musician, writer, producer

"If I made music all the time, if I chose it over advocacy, I wouldn't feel complete."

I became aware of Erin McKeown a few years ago when she opened for Ani DiFranco in my hometown of Columbus. McKeown's exuberant performance stuck with me and I am a faithful follower due to not only her musical talent, but also her work in musician’s rights, advocating for legislative change to benefit the work of independent artists.  She was selected be a 2011-2012 fellow at Harvard University's Berkman Center for Internet & Society where she works to ". . . connect the worlds of policy, art, and technology while considering questions about how to make a creative life a viable vocation.”

Fiona Apple – singer-songwriter, pianist.

“I don't want to give any advice to a 19-year-old, because I want a 19-year-old to make mistakes and learn from them. Make mistakes, make mistakes, make mistakes. Just make sure they're your mistakes.”

Fiona Apple only goes into the studio to create an album when she feels inspired.  Her song lyrics have sustained me through many menacing moments and I admire her bravery as survivor of child sexual abuse.  I am  eagerly anticipating her next album, The Idler Wheel is wiser than the Driver of the Screw, and Whipping Cords will serve you more than Ropes will ever do (The Idler Wheel), due to be released in June.

Eve Ensler - playwright, performer and activist

“It seems to me that we spend an inordinate amount of time and attention on fixing ourselves when we could really be directing that out to serving others.”

Best known as the author of the The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler is the power behind V-Day, a movement advocating the end of violence towards women and girls.  I have not seen the Vagina Monologues and although I keep up with news surrounding V-Day, I am not an active participant. Ensler made this list because of how deeply moved I was by her 2010 TED Talk:  

Remember: Help me complete the list of Women who Inspire Courage and Creativity.  In the comments, add five who inspire you!
Thanks!

For more inspiring writing, check out the blogs at Monday Listicles

photo credit: bitzi ☂ ion-bogdan dumitrescu via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: The Power of Forgiveness

Holding onto resentment towards those that hurt me is easy.  Forgiveness is hard.  But when I think about the great physical energy it takes to hold onto bitterness, I often wonder why I choose to carry around burdens that make my thoughts heavy and my ability to empathize weak.  I even put energy into giving weight to things that are forgivable and unforgivable.  I can forgive you if you talk badly about me behind my back, but if you abandon me, I cannot.  Heavier on the scale, I can forgive my parents for some of the mistakes they made like failing to talk to me honestly about sex, but not others, like subjecting me to abuse.  You may be saying, “Whoa. Child abuse is unforgivable.”  But is it?  What about forgiving the person who murders your child? Impossible?

Studies show that when we forgive we become more compassionate, optimistic, and self-confident.  Forgiveness lowers the heart rate, blood pressure, and stress.  Harvard Women's Health states: “When you forgive someone, you make yourself—rather than the person who hurt you—responsible for your happiness.” (2005)

The health benefits of forgiveness are apparent.  The psychological and emotional benefits of forgiveness are clear.  But in some cases, I find it to be an incredible act of grace when one is able to forgive.  And when I come across astounding stories of forgiveness I am in awe.

This was the case when I read about Phyllis Ferguson, the mother of Chardon High School shooting victim Demetrius Hewlin. Very little time has gone by since the shooting incident transpired in the Cleveland suburb.  Less time has passed since the passing of Demetruis Hewlin.  Some people, including myself, take years to let go of resentment for much lesser crimes than the murder of a child.  Phyllis Ferguson’s ability to forgive the murderer of her son is a shining light in the horrific Chardon High School tragedy and an example for us all.   

Phyllis Ferguson (photo credit)

Ferguson’s son was also able to be an organ donor and save the lives of others.  Along with another shooting victim and organ donor, Russell King, the young men saved 16 lives..   Do you think Phyllis Ferguson would have been OK with her son being an organ and tissue donor if she was in a state of anger and bitterness?  It is absolutely possible that her ability and willingness to forgive saved lives.

“I taught Demetrius not to live in the past, to live in today and forgiveness is divine. . . You have to forgive everything. God’s grace is new each and every day. Until you’ve walked in another person’s shoes, you don’t know what made him come to this point.”

For her powerful message of forgiveness, 

Phyllis Ferguson 

is Wednesday’s Woman.

{Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to raising awareness of the wonderful women who are role models for our daughters and the world.  The Floor Is Yours!  If you know of someone to be featured and would like to write about her, let me know.  I welcome guest posts for sharing the story of someone you think is Wednesday's Woman.}

photo credit: lars_in_japan via photopin cc

Dan Patrick Crushed My Morale

I am a sports fan.  I share my enthusiasm for sports with my significant other, M. What we do not share is a liking for day-long sports news updates provided by ESPN streaming via the TV in the living room.  It’s turned down to a low volume thanks to my numerous pleas.  But it is always on.  Other sports networks show up as well.  M is not an ESPN loyalist.  But I am not aware of what the other sports news outlets are, nor do I care, unless the news is about the Pittsburgh Steelers or the broadcaster is Dan Patrick.

Over the years, in an attempt to connect with M, or use him as a pillow while taking a short nap after getting the girls off to school, I would join him in watching Mike and Mike in the Morning airing on ESPN.  The show became annoying to me because the hosts, Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic, were repetitive, lacked in-depth analysis, and in my opinion, seemed afraid to share their true opinions on topics they covered.  So one morning, after Mike and Mike, M turned the channel over to The Dan Patrick Show assuring me I would enjoy the host, Dan Patrick, much better.  The fact that he was a native of Ohio and defector of ESPN also intrigued me.

As time went by, Mike and Mike became completely replaced by the Dan Patrick Show.  On mornings when I chose not to be lazy and nap in front of the TV with M, I found myself choosing to do sedentary work on my laptop (in lieu of housework which requires movement) so that I could strategically place myself in view of the TV so as to not miss the Dan Patrick Show.  But the day I can say I officially became a fan of Dan Patrick was when his show aired the morning following the weekend that the  Penn State child sexual abuse scandal broke in the media.

I was glued to the show for the entire week.  No napping.  No work.  Just watching. Dan Patrick’s coverage of the child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State was phenomenal.  No other show or network, covering sports or headline news, gave it comparable reporting.  Dan Patrick’s handling of the topic was intelligent, factual, sensitive to the victims, heavy handed on the alleged perpetrator and conspirators of cover-up, and gave voice to victims of child sexual abuse.  In essence, he put down his sports reporting notepad and pencil and picked up a poster printed with bold lettering, “CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IS WRONG.”

As a survivor of child sexual abuse, to me, this was powerful stuff.  Typically when stories like this reach the media, controversy and debate ensue giving more voice to the alleged perpetrators in order to maintain the façade that powerful institutions are impermeable to such horrific accusations.  Movement is usually swift in protecting the establishment’s reputation.  Cover up is priority.  Excuses are mandatory.  But this was not the case with the story in the hands Dan Patrick.   

He took time to tell his viewers of the impact that child sexual abuse has on victims—the damage it does to victims' lives for years into adulthood.  He would not be moved by callers with varying opinions of Joe Paterno's status as coach of the Penn State football team.  Paterno knew of the crimes committed and failed to report them to authorities other than higher ups at the university.  Dan Patrick bravely stated, “Joe Paterno has lost the right to be the head coach of Penn State.”  He even took calls from victims of child sexual abuse, allowing them to share bits of their stories.  Callers always ended with an outpouring of gratitude, thanking him for using his show to shed light on a topic that gets swept under the rug far too often.

Dan Patrick is good at what he does. I'd say, he is one of the best.  He gives insightful commentary on sports news and couples it with clever entertainment in his banter with his show's supporting cast.  He's a stand-out co-host on NBC’s Football Night in America and was bestowed the honor of presenting the Super Bowl XLVI trophy to team winning quarterback, Eli Manning.  He has also made several appearances as an actor on the silver screen and I think he’s talented enough to take over for the menacing David Letterman.  So yes, I am a fan of Dan Patrick. . .

. . .or was, until last week.

I had been aware of The Dan Patrick Show's Wall of Morale but had never given it much attention.  If you aren’t familiar, the Wall of Morale is an area in the show’s studio devoted to posters of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition covers.  I must have missed viewer competitions from years past wherein votes are cast to determine which poster comes down off the wall to make room for the current cover.  But last week I caught this year’s ridiculous hoopla while peaking over the screen of my laptop.  And I was angry.

"With great power comes great responsibility."

~Stan Lee

I truly believe that when one has been given talent they are charged with using that talent and sharing it with the world in order to make change.  The change doesn’t always have to be magnificent in the number of people affected, nor does it have to have the impact to be a catalyst of world peace.  One's work, even if it changes only one person for the better, is significant. It’s not for the talented to determine if his impact is going to be great enough to make a difference. The talented only needs to determine how much fear he will allow to get in the way of his expression.

When Dan Patrick covered the Penn State scandal with such skill and insight he raised the bar for sports journalists and broadcasters.  He courageously answered his call and responsibility as a man with talent.  He embraced his position of having a powerful voice in the media and used it as an opportunity to raise awareness.  His was a shining moment in broadcasting and one in which the world of news media should use as a lesson in ethical and honorable reporting.

Contrarily, for him to devote so much of his show's time to making the decision of which model to keep on the Wall of Morale, making the objectification of women a colossal event, was not only wrong, but a horrific departure.  I was deeply, incredibly disappointed.  In my eyes, another great voice failed to go "against the grain" and sold-out in the name of a pay check.

Dan Patrick must not have been aware of findings from the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls and cited by Miss Representation that indicate:

• the hyper-sexualization of women is linked to depression and eating disorders. 

• the pornification of women in main stream media is numbing boys and men to the true value of women. 

• the association of female objectification with sports implies that for women, being healthy is about fitting into a tiny bikini.

• in the 57 years of the Sports Illustrated’s life a woman appears on a non-swimsuit issue a total of 66 times (on average, just once a year).

Dan Patrick had an opportunity to speak on the crisis of the objectification of women in America to an audience wherein the message is desperately needed and to an audience who has his full attention—sports fans.  He proved he can make a difference in how people view critical cultural topics during his coverage of the Penn State scandal.  In his silly enthusiasm over the Wall of Morale, he succumbed to fear—fear of losing members of his fan base, fear of losing support of SI.com who hosts his show’s website, and fear of looking less macho to a world full of hot women who he refers to as “shorties” and  then jokes about making room for them in his bed.

 

"Every society has a way of torturing its women, whether by binding their feet or by sticking them into whalebone corsets. What contemporary American culture has come up with is designer jeans."

~Joel Yager, M.D.

One last point.  Dan Patrick has a daughter.  All I can surmise is that he does not find raising a daughter in a world that objectifies women to be challenging.  I really wish I could ask him how he does it.  Does he tell her it’s OK to be valued for sex?  I bet he does not.  And I bet, one day, she’ll identify his hypocrisy and be as disappointed in him as I am.

BlogHer  '12 Voices of the Year Honoree  in OpEd

This post was featured on BlogHer

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March Towards Summer

(photo credit)

 In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.  

~Albert Camus

For those of you who have not yet looked at your calendar, it's March 1st. Yes! We survived those two dreaded months wherein we struggle to stay happy amid lack luster sunlight and plaguing guilt brought on from over spending and over eating during the holidays.  I often struggle with motivation and positive thoughts during the winter, it's not new to me.  In my early 20's I lived in Chicago, a beautiful city but harsh environment to wait-out the winter.  I remember crying sobbing with tears of joy and relief each March when I heard the booming crash of thunder brought by the first Spring storm.

I see no rain in the forecast for today to use as cause for celebration, so am lauding the march towards Summer by linking up with Mama Kat's Pretty Much World Famous Writers Workshop:





Prompt:  Remember Summer? The warm air, blue skies, and endless days in the water? Me either. Share a photo from last Summer that brings you back.

Response:  We didn't do much last Summer as far as exotic vacations or educational trips to historic Civil War sites.  But the sun provided us with opportunities to enjoy. . .

 . . .long walks in the Columbus Metro Parks. . .

 . . .two teams making it 

to the GYAA Girls Softball Tournament. . .

. . .U2 in concert in Pittsburgh. . .

. . .and a strange variety of activities and characters that make
 the Ohio State Fair.

Let the March begin!