However, during childhood, I had two small dogs who were mysteriously transported to a great big farm where they had "plenty of room to run" instead of biting the neighbor lady during her walk. When I was married and my girls were toddlers I had a Cocker Spaniel who died from eating an entire bin of diapers. It was tragic. I still wanted a dog. After much research discovering the best breed for families, I acquired a Greyhound from the local rescue. We named him "Relay" which I thought was clever. He cleverly bit my younger daughter on the forehead and went back to the rescue. Too bad. He made me very popular at the dog park. A few years passed. Well, maybe only half of one. I still wanted a dog. I wanted the girls to not be afraid of dogs and took them to the shelter to pick one out. We looked at a German Sherpherd, my childhood dream. He was too big and reminded my girls of the harrowing event of forehead biting. We looked at a Cocker Spaniel, but he reminded me of the mournful event of diaper eating. We spied an older Chihuahua mix cowered in a corner. When we got near to her she slowly approached and sat calmly as the girls took turns to pet her. Her name was "Tina". She became ours. All was well. A few years passed, I got a divorce and moved my girls and Tina across the country. As we were settling in, I was sad. I didn't know if it was due to the end of my marriage or knowing I would probably never have another baby, but I was full of it. Grief. We were at our new local pet store getting food for Tina and we saw him. A tiny Chihuahua. He came home with the food and we named him Frodo. The grief began to diminish. Two months later, while getting food for Tina AND Frodo, I heard my girls say, "Oh Mommy, isn't he so cute?" He was a cute ball of fluff and he was half off. Another Chihuahua, one with long hair, entered our lives. We named him Scruffy. The grief continued to fade. This is Scruffy pictured yesterday at six years of age:
I may never have a German Shepherd, but that's OK. Scruffy gives the best kisses. In fact, he was my first kiss of 2013, followed by Tina and then Frodo.
Why?
Because sometimes I just want to sit with my dogs.
One aspect of Wednesday's Woman I cherish is getting to know guest bloggers. Typically, I find them as inspiring as the women they honor. Today is no exception. These are the words from today's guest, Marcia, from Finding Felicity:
Writing has helped me in numerous ways and I hope some of my posts are able to help you feel anything that leads you to peace. Love, interconnectedness, trust, hope, joy, fulfillment, forgiveness, encouragement, support, on and on. I'm here for you and appreciate you being there for me.
I am grateful for Marcia's willingness to share the following story. It is nothing less than inspiring and timely for those who need a little reminder that it's never too late to commit to a New Year's resolution. It's never too late to commit to life. Find Felicity at her Blog and follow her on Twitter!
My introduction to this week's Wednesday's Woman was on The Ellen Show. Ellen introduced this woman who was assigned to assist a family change their eating habits to lose weight and feel healthier. Out walked this beautiful blonde woman. She was excited and thrilled to be with this family and showed a genuine enthusiasm for just being there.
A few months later I saw the follow up. The excited mom was talking about how much weight she lost, her energy levels sky rocketed, and her relationship with her daughters and husband was better than ever. Bitterness was a main theme in my life back then so I credited the family's success to a team of helpers (nutritionist, chef, etc...which I'm not sure they had) and the accountability of being on national television. That's the main reason why I didn't seek this woman out. Her joy and energy were convincing but my cynicism was even more convincing.
So fast forward to a year later and I'm at the library. I see a book with a picture of this same woman I saw on Ellen. It's on sale for $2. I begrudgingly buy it. I tell my sister in a snotty voice, "I'm only going to read this if this woman is over 37. I saw her on Ellen and she was transforming a family's lives by their eating habits. She is gorgeous and seemed so happy. Too happy. But who wouldn't be that happy if they are a famous and beautiful star?" I googled her age and she was jaw droppingly older than I thought.
So I read the book. And it changed my life. She transformed me. I am *forever* grateful.
She has written a handful of books including, Quantum Wellness, the book that changed my life. An insert from the book,
"Quantum wellness isn't about deprivation and it's not about perfection. It is about pointing yourself in the direction of growth, training yourself to get comfortable with your highest potential, and then taking small steps to support that shift."
Kathy gives easy steps, suggestions and personal examples on how to gently transform your life. She highlights forgiveness, kindness, and setting intentions. She writes like how a close confidant would speak to you and backs up her advice with scientific facts.
One of the most transforming parts of the book I put into action was a 21 day dietary cleanse. This cleanse assisted in a 43 lbs weight loss due to eliminating emotional eating, knowledge of what different foods did to my system, and tapping into an unbelievable source of clean energy from the improved diet. Not just dietary, Kathy also suggests that while you remove some unhealthy foods you remove clutter from your home (trust me, you will have the energy) and negative and/or deprecating thoughts. Clean body, clean house, clean mind...it is beyond blissful!
Kathy Freston helps you to help yourself, which directly improves every aspect of your life and the lives you touch.
When the opportunity to write a Wednesday's Woman was presented there was no hesitation of who it would be about. I told Kimberly, from Sperk*, I wanted to reread the book just for a refresher. It's amazing to see the changes Kathy speaks about in the welcome as parts of my life now, a year after initially reading it.
If you are interested in purchasing the book, Quantum Wellness, please do so in the Books section of my blog, Give Felicity. Further details at the link explain that all affiliate money will go directly to purchasing the book for others interested in owning it.
You can also sign up for "The Daily Lean" which is a free email From Kathy Freston that is delivered weekdays around 9 am. Not only does she send you inspiration, but also healthy recipes and obscure nutrition information. Each email takes as much time to read as it does to brush your teeth. I guarantee these messages will stay with you longer than the minty taste in your mouth does!
Thank you so much to Sperk* for the opportunity to share Kathy Freston as a Wednesday's Woman. I truly hope she can inspire some of you as she has me.
Leaning into your life: Kathy Freston at TEDxFremont
Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.
It’s always a good idea to reflect on the past in order to
change the future. However, some things
get etched in the mind as our favorites, things we wish would never
change. These are the snapshots we print
on acid-free paper and tape into the scrapbook.
If I still did scrapbooking, the following are the things you would find
in mine from 2012:
Favorite 2012 Movie: I see movies late, when they enter the
realm of cable television. For that
reason, my favorite flick of 2012 was released in 2011: The Big Year. It’s charming, funny, hopeful and I can watch it with my kids.
Favorite Album:Pound of Dirt by Sister Sparrow and the Dirty Birds - I came across this band while perusing Songkick for an opportunity
to go out on a Friday night. This band
is hot and I predict they are going to blow up.
Meaning, if you can see them in a small music venue near you, do so, and
soon. If you wait, you’ll be smooshed in
a crowd of sweaty people at a summer music festival, unable to see who’s
tearing up all those instruments.
Favorite Song:We Are Never Getting Back Together - I’m a
closet Taylor Swift fan. Yes, I am. It helps me relate to my tween and provides
good conversational material for my teen: “Mom, how is it that Taylor Swift can
be such a player and not get any flack?
I mean, if I went through that many boyfriends. . .”
Favorite Tweeter:@brainpicker– Maria Popova – Because her tweets contain the most interesting links.
Favorite TV Show:Enlightened – I watched the entire first
season two times while the kids were gone over Christmas break. It’s the first show I could relate to as a 40
year old woman. Love it. Season 2 begins on HBO in three days.
Favorite Instagramer:@northwestmommy - That boy, that dog and that scenery, oh my.
Favorite Moment: Too many to choose from. I consider myself lucky and easy to please. However, if I have to choose, the first day of school (pictured above) was pretty stellar. My oldest went to high school. I think we are going to make it.
Favorite Conference:AFC North – I’m a die-hard Steelers fan. (You know I’m talking NFL, right?).
I have been feeling pressure to create a New Year’s
resolution. Where is this pressure
coming from? All the resolutions I’ve seen posted on Twitter this week? No.
All the “Best of 2011” lists that didn’t include Sperk*? No. From
a place within that is nagging for change? Yes.
In doing some serious self-examination, I realized that most
things I want to change in my life could be altered simply by changing my daily
routine. The girls are gone for the
weekend which allowed me some time to explore different tools that could
support this theory and create a plan of action.
I came across this list at a blog called The Change Blog, written by Peter Clemens, which I think is ideal. It consists of 24
things to incorporate into my day. Some
I already do—most I do not. 24 seem like a lot and I am feeling intimidated by
it. But I am going to give it a try. I
expect positive changes to occur because of its implementation and I plan to
keep you updated.
The Morning
Wake Early: I typically wake at 6 a.m. which is 30 minutes
before Sophia wakes. I am going to wake
earlier to allow time for the subsequent activities on the list.
Exercise: I used to be a dancer and very much in shape. I used to workout daily until I went back to
school. I used to, I used to, I used to. I miss exercise and the benefits it
has for my brain. I am looking forward to adding physical activity back into my
daily routine.
Review or (even better) Rewrite Your Goals: Goal number one is to implement this list.
Read and/ or Listen to Motivational Material: I have a box
full of inspirational readings on discs. I’m going to dig those out. I already have a daily quote app on the
smartphone. I’ll continue using it
because it provides inspiration.
Visualize the Day Ahead: This seems like a good idea.
Write a “To Do” list: Already implemented. I use Cozi .
Check the News Headlines: Already implemented, however, I
need to put a time limit on it. My “read later” list in Diigo is enormous.
Take a Multivitamin: I have some. I need to check the
expiration date.
Tidy Up: Will do in the morning, as list suggests, instead
of ten minutes before kids get home from school.
Take Time to Look Good: Will do because it makes me feel
better. I will do this in the morning
instead of five minutes before kids get home from school.
Items 11-17 are tasks to include during the day. Items 18-24 are tasks to include in the
evening. I am looking forward to
implementing all 24 tasks, but am only going to commit to the morning tasks for now. I
will add day and evening tasks once I have the morning mastered. I am giving
myself a one week deadline to master the morning list and will compose items 11-24 during number 6. [The real reason I have abandoned creating day and evening lists is that
I find the Lego Friends controversy more interesting (see item 7)].
My family took a road trip to see friends for the New Year
holiday. It was great to welcome 2012 with special people that we do not often have the opportunity to see. And the car ride provided an opportunity to discuss our 2012 Plan for Giving.
My daughters have different ideas of how they would like to engage in
volunteerism. Antonia would like to
volunteer at an animal shelter because she loves dogs. Sophia would like to volunteer at a senior living center. My significant other is
interested in helping both animals and seniors, so we will make the volunteer opportunities occasions of family time.
We seasonally clean out closets and drawers and
donate gently used items to charity. This
is done by loading the van with several plump-filled garbage bags and dropping
them off at the giant free standing bin next to the grocery store. Honestly, I have no idea who gets the clothes
we donate.
My girls understand that although it is difficult to part with a
pair of favorite jeans, those pants can become a
favorite to a child in need. But, as the old adage indicates, “Seeing
is believing.” This year, instead of leaving the bags at a drop-off bin, we will take items directly to organizations that are in need. I want my daughters to SEE that their
clothes actually go somewhere and are worn by actual people.
Every group that we want to help may not need
what we have to give. We have some research
to do. The internet makes it easy. Most charitable organizations, homeless
shelters, and community service centers have informative websites that
allow me to discern if they are a good fit for my family. I have
confidence that we will find the right places to give our time, talent, and unused
belongings.
I have been using the GenerationOn website as a resource for finding the charities that fit with what our family can provide. There are also tips for organizing a complete community project if you are interested in a larger endeavor. I particularly like the list of project ideas, big and small, that refresh and revitalize the ways
in which a family can engage in giving to the community.
“Family projects that involve giving to those in need during
the holidays can be turned into powerful lessons that teach compassion,
empathy, and meaning to children.”
Create and shareyour family's 2012 Plan for Giving at the link up here: Sperk* Or leave your ideas in the comments!
Why should you participate?
Our children are coming down from a holiday high brought on by receiving great gifts. But remember, it is in the act of giving that children and teens gain the most satisfaction (Dr. Price-Mitchell, 2011). By creating and linking up your family’s 2012
Plan for Giving you are making a significant impact your child’s development of
compassion and empathy.
Because the New Year was celebrated with such exuberance and
many of my fellow bloggers have been on hiatus, I extended the deadline for
linking up your family’s 2012 Plan for Giving to Thursday, January 5th. Voting for the “Choice Plan for Giving” will
start on Friday the 6th with the winner being determined on Saturday
the 7th. The winner receives
a $20 donation in their name to the charity of his or her choice.
Remember your plan does not need to be complex.
Your family may already be involved in volunteering and giving to your
community. Great! Tell us about it. This is about sharing ideas,
lending support, and cheering each other on. It is possible that we can
make this a global movement!
Reference
Price-Mitchell, M., Ph.D. (November 21, 2011). The gift of giving: How holidays shape children's
As you find a space in your top drawer for your new six-pack
of socks, are you thinking about how to say thanks to the person who gave you that
great necessity? As your children
fervently play with their new hand-held gaming devices, are they thinking of
writing a thank you note to Santa? It’s
the day after Christmas and the kids are home on break. There is plenty of time to establish ways to
say “Thank you.”
Saying thank you by means of a hand written note, an email, or
a cool video slide-show displaying how much your kids are enjoying their gifts
can go a long way. Dr. Price-Mitchell of Roots of Action, recently explained that our children gain the greatest “psychological
rewards” through the act of giving,
not through the act of receiving. This may seem outlandish as we reflect upon yesterday
morning’s squeals, smiles, and laughter.
But, in the quiet act of saying, “Thank
you,” kids and teens are forming their values about giving—something that lasts longer
than the novelty of a new gift.
After thank you notes are sent, we can find ways to sustain the
spirit of giving all year. Dr.
Price-Mitchell provides six ways to
engage the entire family in the act of giving and volunteerism. I am currently looking over one suggestion, getting involved at generationOn. GenerationOn has a great looking website that is bound to get your
kids excited about helping others. There are sections for project tips, project ideas, and training with resources that make it easy to get involved in projects of your choice. It even gives recommendations to help your kids
organize a Kids Care Club to involve their classroom community in the
act of helping others.
My kids called from their dad's yesterday and excitedly
listed all the wonderful gifts they were given.
I am excited for them, of course, but concerned that if we do not do
something to promote charity, they will miss out on a vital part of human
development. Dr. Price-Mitchell explains,, “Family projects that involve giving to those in need during the
holidays can be turned into powerful lessons that teach compassion, empathy,
and meaning to children.”
Even though the gift giving is over, it is not too late to
sustain our giving spirit. There is
another biggie coming up—New Year’s Eve. When my kids return home on Wednesday, I am going to have a family meeting to discuss how we are going to give
back to our community by helping those in need throughout the New Year. I would like to include their dad's family too. If we make an action plan as a family it will
be more impactful than if I hand one down as a directive.
I challenge you to do the same with your
family. Leave your ideas and/or what
type of giving your family plans to implement for the New Year in the
comments. Thanks!
Or link up your ideas here!
Reference
Price-Mitchell, M., Ph.D. (November 21, 2011). The gift of
giving: How the holidays shape
children's identities. Roots of Action. Retrieved from
http://rootsofaction.com/blog/the-gift-of-giving-how-the-holidays-shape-
childrens-identities/
