Under Construction

I'm under construction AND started worked outside of the home on Monday.  Please be patient. . .
Working to incorporate everything into my new schedule and looking forward to catching up soon!

Wednesday's Woman: Thank You for 2012

We honored celebrities, friends, moms, and neighbors.  We celebrated you and your children.  We recognized athletes, scientists, news reporters, survivors, those who are thriving, writers, singers, advocates and more.  In 2012 we paid tribute to approximately 35 women who are providing us with inspiration and reminding us that when we are called to action we must listen.  We also were reminded that even the smallest of actions can make a huge impact in the lives of others.  I want to thank all of the guest bloggers who helped to make Wednesday’s Woman a shining highlight at Sperk*.  I have a great amount of gratitude for all of the honorees and for all of you.

Thank you, Anna Mahler for being a regular contributor to Wednesday’s Woman and for being my friend.  My gratitude for bringing awareness of the inspiring work of Lisa Shannon, Jane Aronson, Taryn Davis, Diane Latiker, Zainab Salbi, Christy Turlington Burns, and Seane Corn.

Thank you Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms and Tara Pohlkotte for sharing your stories of women who write and who impassioned your own journey of expression.

Thank you Heidi Cave, Ashley Taylor, Galit Breen, Kristen, and aka Lavern for sharing your heart and reminding us that a Wednesday’s Woman is always right in our midst.

Thank you Delilah and Kirstin Piccini for sharing your stories of the women who pulled you through your toughest trials.

Thank you Kim Pugliano, Cat Poland, Stacey Gill, Cindy Reed and Tracy at Scribblesaurus Me for honoring your friends and bringing their stirring stories to light.

Thank you Missy Bedell and M for reminding us that our mothers or mother-figures were our first Wednesday’s Women.

Thank you Ado, Miranda and Aubrey Ortega for bringing to light the little-known works of well-known people.

Finally, thank you to Corrie Ortner, the first Wednesday’s Woman and my friend who inspired the entire series.

I am looking forward to discovering the Women who inspire you in 2013.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

Memories Captured: Remembering the Joy

In November of last year, 2011, news reports came out that there was a scandal of child sexual abuse at Penn State University.  Shortly after hearing the news, my significant other, M, recovered memories of his own child sexual abuse.  During the same time, I was at a crossroads in my relationship with my mother due to my own issues with childhood sexual abuse.  I severed all ties with her by February of 2012.  M is currently teetering on the fence with his family, exploring how to make their relationships work in light of his memories.

For families that have been torn apart by abuse, the holidays can be a heavy burden and filled with grief.  For M and me, 2012, this year, was the first year we did not have to make excuses to avoid Thanksgiving with family.  No one called to invite us.  On one hand, this was a relief.  I know that my healing cannot be done with my family in my life.  On the other hand, the grief that remains is something I would rather not contend with, for grief is a prize fighter.

During Christmastime 2010, as we were ushering in 2011, not knowing the aftermath of child abuse was going to plague our days at the end of the year and well into the next, we celebrated.  We sang.  We danced.  We loved.

During Christmastime 2010 we made a video. 

Last year, during the Christmas of 2011, we did not create a video.  In fact, I can’t find many pictures from then either.  I could say it was just too difficult with the girls going back and forth, to and from their dads for extended periods of time.  Or, we didn't have them on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, so what fun would it have been to make a video?  But those would be lies.  Last year, during the Christmas of 2011, we were heavy with grief.  The prize fighter had us in a TKO.  Although we didn't let our emotions keep us from having Christmas, we failed to conjure the spirit to capture the moments of Christmas.

Adult survivors of child abuse lose a lot of time.  Sometimes the good times are viewed through murky goggles of pain, anger, and sadness.  It takes a strange amount of courage to cut through the muck and be present.  Being present can take all of the energy leaving none for picking up the camera to capture the memories.

However, capturing memories is important.  Remembering the joy of the present offsets the pain of the past. 

Two bloggers I know, Galit and Alison, understand the importance of capturing memories.  They provide bloggers an opportunity to share their treasured moments each month in a blogging link up called Memories Captured.  I’m grateful for this.  It is a much needed reminder for me.  I do not want to lose any more time without it being documented. 

And so, to express my gratitude, I’m joining the link up this month.  My submission is our Christmas video from 2010.  It reminds me that we are a joyful bunch.  It gives me hope.  Maybe we’ll even create another this year.

photo credit: Brian Hathcock via photopin cc

10 Foods for Depression Fun

Some people fall into depression and lose their appetite.  Unfortunately, this is not the case for me.  As some of you know, I've been battling depression for the past several months.  When I’m down, I eat.  This causes a terrible cycle of feeling terrible.  See, I’m a firm believer that if I was one of those non-eating depressed people, at least I’d have a nice slim body to admire in the mirror and possibly this would lift my mood.

Please know I am not saying that slim depressed people have it better.  Depression in all of its manifestations of behavior is a harrowing existence.  Even more distressing is when one knows what makes one feel better and is unable to do it…due to the paralysis of depression.  It’s an evil, evil thing. 

This leads me to this week’s topic for Monday Listicles: Food.  The topic was suggested by blogger extraordinaire, Beth.  The leader of Monday Listicles, Stasha, has instructed that the topic is open to interpretation.   So, I chose to share with you the 10 foods that keep me physically filled-out while I am depressed.

10 Foods for Wallowing in Depression

1. Salt and Vinegar Chips

I seriously considered moving 55 miles east to Zanesville, Ohio where Conn's Salt and Vinegar chips are made.  They are by far, the best Salt and Vingar chip ever made.  I know, because I've tried them all.

2. Peanut Butter

My favorite way to eat this creamy goodness is with a spoon right out of the jar, but there are several ways to enjoy this luscious nut meal:  on warm toast, as an apple dip, smothered on top of an Oreo cookie.  Ironic that this spread was first introduced in the United States to sanitarium patients by Dr. John Harvey Kellog.  If those patients had the same experience that I do when eating peanut butter, it was the one time during their day in which they felt sane.

3. Nutella

                                                                                 Source: annies-eats.com via Sperk* on Pinterest

Nutella has become quite popular as I have noticed many Nutella based goodies, like the fudge pictured above, posted on Pinterest as of late.  But I've been digging into jars of Nutella for years.  I don't have the discipline to cook or bake with it.  The most patience I have is waiting for the toast to pop from the toaster and quickly getting that spread applied to assure a tremendous amount melting of the chocolate-hazelnut goodness onto my hot flaky bread.  (Did you know Nutella was created by a pastry maker during World War II due to the shortage of chocolate?)

4. Hummus and Pita Chips

When I bring home hummus and pita chips from the grocery store on Monday, they are gone by Monday night.  I've turned out the entire family.  And if the pita chips are gone before the hummus, scooping it out with your finger not only gets you more of the yummie goodness, the rest of the family runs away from the table in horror, leaving you alone with your hummus.  Perfect.

5. Fancy Creamers

Coffee-mate has made luxurious dairy flavorings accessible to the common folk and I couldn't be happier.  My condition of lactose intolerance is not a hindrance to me enjoying these feel-good flavors added to my favorite anti-depressant, coffee.  Oh sure, there's tons of sugar and fat, but remember, I'm depressed.  And, if you look carefully in your grocery's dairy section, there are now a few fat-free and sugar-free varieties   Plus, if you can't figure out how to make these yummie liquids work for you, the Coffee-mate website has recipes.  Yes, recipes.  I see no need to go beyond "pour half the bottle into coffee and stir", but whatever.

6. Pizza

My lactose intolerant gut always fails to send the "DO NOT EAT" message to my eyes when I see pizza flashing in a television commercial, staring from the grocer's freezer, or delightfully offering coupons via the mailbox.  And there are always excuses to order pizza: no time to cook, the girls would love me more, the football game is on, girls have friends coming over, etc.  My pizza of choice: The Works from Papa John's.

7. Ice Cream

Yes, there is such a thing as dairy free ice cream, but it doesn't taste good.  Yes, you have read correctly in the above points.  I am lactose intolerant.  I love ice cream.  It makes me feel good.  And the tumultuous gas it causes provides me an excuse to hide away alone in my room, which fits perfectly with being depressed.  Of course my favorite ice cream is Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby due to the "fudge covered PEANUT BUTTER filled pretzels in vanilla malt ice cream rippled with fudge & PEANUT BUTTER."

8. Bomb Burritos

These belly killers are for when I am at the lowest of my lows.  Brought to you directly from the convenient store just a few block away.

9. Stouffer's Grandmas Chicken and Vegetable Rice Bake

This one I can pass off as a good meal choice for the entire family.  Really, it's just creamy-good comfort food.

10. Stouffer's Chicken Enchiladas with Cheese Sauce and Rice

This one can also be passed off as a good meal choice for the entire family.  The key is to only make it when family is around.  Otherwise, it becomes and over-sized pan to enjoy on my own during a marathon of America's Next Top Model (if I actually watched such a horrific soft-porn flick being passed off as a reality show).  

What are your go-to foods when you're feeling bad?

See how other fabulous bloggers interpreted "FOOD" for Monday Listicles!

photo credit: yewenyi via photopin cc
photo credit: brianc via photopin cc
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photo credit: Scorpions and Centaurs via photopin cc
photo credit: roboppy via photopin cc
photo credit: rick via photopin cc
photo credit: inazakira via photopin cc
photo credit: LostinTexas via photopin cc

A Quick Hello

Wednesday's Woman: Being of Service

Honoring Seane Corn, yoga instructor and founder of Off the Mat Into the World

Today's guest blogger, Anna Mahler, is a regular contributor to Wednesday's Woman and I also consider her a regular inspiration.  Meaning, her kindness is prevailing--always present, empathetic and aware.

Anna has a passion for self-care and deep self-awareness. She believes staying on the quest of loving oneself makes us capable of loving our children and each other.  I believe she is right.  She has a great ability to shine light on women who are reaching out to help us in the quest for a full, love-filled life, and today is no exception.

Be sure to visit Anna at her space, The Mommy Padawan.  I guarantee you'll be inspired.

Wednesday's Woman: What Being Of Service Truly Means

by Anna Mahler

Off the Mat Into the World

Seane Corn is a well known yoga instructor but also a passionate activist on a mission to bring the principals of yoga – love, compassion and mindfulness, into every part of our lives and the world around us.

At 19, Seane started exploring yoga and discovered that it's benefits go far beyond our physical selves.

“I liked yoga at first because of how it made my body feel, but within a few short years, yoga infiltrated every part of my existence. Because of the practice, I quit smoking, drinking, doing drugs and eating animal products. Because of the practice, I meditate, breathe, pray and serve. Yoga created the foundation that allows me to feel connected to spirit, the world and all her inhabitants.”
Source: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Seane-Corns-First-Lesson-in-Yoga/3#ixzz28RH9oYgu

Seane went on to become a yoga teacher but also began exploring ways she could be of service to Off The Mat, Into The World. In 2007,  she co-founded the non-profit organization with the same name along with Hala Khouri and Suzanne Sterling. 

Off the Mat Into the World

others that aligned with her principals and personal beliefs. Inspired after working with YouthAIDS, an organization that provides services and products to children worldwide who are affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis, Seane came up with the slogan -

Off The Mat’s mission is to use the power of yoga to inspire conscious, sustainable activism and ignite grassroots social change.

From the very start, OTM has been active and successful in bringing the values and benefits of yoga to exactly what they state – off the mat and into the world around us today. 

Four years ago, a private client asked Seane to create a lounge at the Democratic National Convention. This became a place for people to relax in between sessions; offering yoga, massages, healthy food and meditation. After receiving a positive response as well as requests for more involvement,  OTM created their recent initiative, YogaVotes. It is an initiative to get people involved but to also bring love, compassion and connection in to politics and political discussions.

Off The Mat also partners with organizations all over the world to help create and provide safe medical and birthing centers, housing, education and training programs and raise awareness of global issues for change. One way they accomplish this is through a yearly challenge they call the Global Seva Challenge.

“Each year, Off the Mat (OTM) sponsors an international service project called the Global Seva Challenge. The Seva Challenge is a transformational journey that builds community, provokes awareness and action around global issues, and raises significant funds to support communities in crisis. Since 2007, the Seva Challenge has raised over two million dollars for projects in Cambodia, Uganda, South Africa and Haiti. In 2012 the Seva Challenge will be focused on the issue of sex trafficking in India and worldwide. “
(Source - http://www.offthematintotheworld.org/global-seva-challenge.html)

Raising awareness, providing refuge, sharing knowledge and encouraging compassion, mindfulness and love. To me, this is what “being of service to others” truly means and an awesome example of walking the walk and living the principals of what you believe. 

You can learn more about Off The Matt at http://www.offthematintotheworld.org/

And more about Seane Corn at http://www.seanecorn.com/



Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

Photo Hunt in My Phone

With the theme of SHARING 10 PHOTOS FROM YOUR PHONE, three of my favorite pastimes come together--Monday Listicles, Instagram and The Columbus Museum of Art. 

   

Did you know the Columbus Museum of Art recently opened the nation's first Instagram installation and one of my photos is included?

My photo in the CMA Photo Hunt Installation

Embracing technology and the power of social media, the Columbus Museum of Art presents the first museum exhibition generated by Instagram. CMA used its critically acclaimed exhibition The Radical Camera: New York’s Photo League, 1936 – 1951 as the inspiration for a social media campaign encouraging people to “become a modern-day Photo Leaguer by participating in Columbus Museum of Art Photo Hunts.” The result is an exhibition of more than 30 works, each taken using the popular Instagram app, on view in CMA’s Community Gallery.   ~artdaily.org

CMA's Photo Hunt Series continues and anyone from anywhere in the world can participate via Instagram, Twitter, or Flickr.  Simply hashtag your photos #CMAPhotohunt and include the hashtag for the current theme.  

The theme running until November 30 is #family.  I know all of you have some great shots that represent family.  Hashtag 'em and maybe you'll be chosen for the next CMA Photo Hunt installation in January!  For more info check out CMA's blog.

With all of the photos I have been taking for CMA's Photo Hunt, fulfilling my favorite blogging meme's theme for this week was easy:

Monday Listicles

10 RANDOM PHOTOS FROM SPERK*S PHONE

1. MY JOURNAL

2. LATE NIGHT RUN FOR MILK

3. M AND ME MAKING IT INTO THE OBAMA RALLY

4. THE VIEW FROM MY FRONT PORCH AT SUNDOWN

5. MY FAVORITE DOG, FRODO

6. SHE DOESN'T LIKE MORNINGS
AND IS GOING TO HATE ME FOR POSTING THIS

7. PRAYING THE CLOTHING GODS
WILL DELIVER SOMETHING TO WEAR TO SCHOOL TOMORROW

8. M AND ME ON THANKSGIVING #FAMILY

9. ME A FEW HOURS LATER, BLACK FRIDAY

10. MY HEART...MY GIRLS

BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE INTERESTING PHOTOS IN THESE BLOGGERS' PHONES:

The Breath of Life

I feel I have been absent as of late, not just from Sperk*, but from something indefinable.  However, I won’t bore you with examination of the vague and give only the concrete.  Certainly there has been movement.  After months of a plague of depression, there has been forward progression even amid costly inconveniences:  Scruffy had his tail amputated after nearly chewing it off, the main drain to the house was clogged and filling the basement with feces, and my front tooth composite finally crumbled after many months of gingerly eating and cementing it with toothpaste during the night.  These were all financial setbacks, indeed, and at the most inopportune time of the year, the holidays.

The girls are well.  My tween who is emerging into a teen is quite gorgeous, like a sprouting tree in the spring, in her entirety, not just in her outward beauty.  My teen of 14 years is a constant mystery and deliverer of stress, but I’m learning to take it in stride with less seriousness and worry.  And last week, I finally put my year old degree to use and gained employment.  I’ll be caring for little ones full time.  It is funny that caring for small humans, during the most significant juncture of human development, pays the least in the field of education.  It is my opinion that early educators should be paid on the scale of professors.  And we should be required to have the same amount of education as college level instructors.  However, if that were the case, I wouldn't have my current employment, right?

The clock says 6:31 am, so I must wake the girls.  Here’s to coffee, cool autumn mornings, and the breath of life that keeps us going.

photo credit: Muffet via photopin cc

Wordless Wednesday: Autumn Archive

Autumn in Northern California, 2004
Photo by Frida Azari

Thankful for Sophia and Antonia

Wednesday's Woman: Light in a Dark Place

Depression, Women, the Holidays and Hope.

Thanksgiving, the official start to the holiday season, is upon us. 

Are you feeling happy, grateful, and excited, anticipating the wonderful food and laughter shared with family?  Or are you feeling stressed, anxious, and tired?  Possibly, and most likely, you are experiencing a mix of emotions. 

For those suffering from depression, the anxiety that accompanies the holidays can be unbearable.  It can be frightening:  the expectations, the money, the time…

….did I mention the expectations?

Contrary to popular belief, occurrences of depression do not increase during the holidays.  However, what is found to be true is that women are more likely to suffer from depression than men.

From the National Institute of Mental Health:

• One in four women will experience severe depression at some point in life.

• Depression affects twice as many women as men, regardless of racial and ethnic background or   income.

• Depression is the number one cause of disability in women.

Wednesday’s Woman is a space to honor women who are doing great things, on a grand, global scale, or on a smaller, but not less significant scale, in the home.  For many women, their greatest feat is getting out of bed.

Today, for Wednesday’s Woman, I am honoring all women who are suffering and/or surviving with depression.  To help me do so, I am grateful to welcome Kristen from the Preppy Girl in Pink:

************************************************************************

Hi, I'm Kristen from The Preppy Girl in Pink. I am a wife, a mom to two girls and work from home part time. I am not always strong but I am rarely weak. My daughters constantly remind me how good life can truly be. 

Light in a Dark Place

It was hard to get out of bed today. The curtains were drawn to keep the street lights out at night but weren't allowing the natural light of the day in either. I hit snooze on the alarm clock again and again. 

I stretched my arms, my legs and my back. I rolled over and faced the curtains. I had to force myself out of the bed and to them.

I pulled the panels apart and there wasn't much change in the light in the room.

It was another grey, cold, damp day. The days that make it hard to get out of bed. 

Could I lie and say it is because of weather like this that I want to sink back into bed and enjoy the coziness of my bed? Yes, I could.

But I won't.

It is the darkness outside my window that awakens the darkness in the soul. 

All of the heartache.

All of the doubt.

All of the guilt.

All of the pressure.

I know I should move one foot at a time in the direction of both of my two daughters' bedrooms. They need to get up and ready for school. 

I can't though.

My feet move me back to my bed. 

I tuck myself back in and feel alone as I lay in the fetal position.

I think to myself, 'Maybe I can just let the day go on around me. Maybe...'

But then I hear a giggle.

And then another.

I glance up and see the light from my 8 year old daughter's bedroom pouring into the hallway. That can only mean one thing, she is reading before the morning routine gets started. Her favorite way to start the day is with a book in her hands. 

She calls out to me, "Mom, do you remember when Ron did this? He cracks me up!" and then reads a few lines from one of the Harry Potter novels that she is currently devouring. 

She belly laughs this time.

And that is when I can feel the sunshine even when I can't see it.

That is when I turn off the alarm clock instead of hitting snooze again. 

That is when I tell myself that I have two daughters that need me. They need all of me. Not just the person going through the actions of the day.

They need my heart. They need my soul. They need to see that I can keep the darkness out with the light they shine upon me.

And I need to allow their light in so that I can let my light shine too. 

*************************************************************************************************************************************

Resources for coping with depression during the holidays:

Stress, depression and the holidays

Dealing with holiday stress

Depression at the holidays

Please know I am grateful for you. . . Happy Thanksgiving!

photo credit: PHOTO/arts Magazine via photopin cc

Wednesday's Woman: A Proverbs 31 Kind of Friend

Mom on the Range

There are some who traverse through life tucking away their trials, hiding them from the light for fear the broken world will crush them even more. 

There are some who refuse to welcome fear as a companion, who share their stories, fighting through the risk, vulnerability, and uncertainty.  These storytellers bring light, comfort, and inspiration to those of us quietly shouting, “Me too!” 

If you ask her if she thinks she is brave, she will probably answer, "No."  However, I attest that Cat Poland is one of these brave storytellers.  

I am grateful to welcome Cat Poland here today for Wednesday’s Woman.  You can find her rich stories from fertile ground at Mom on the Range, like her on Facebook, and, of course, follow her on Twitter.

Wednesday's Woman: 

A Proverbs 31 Kind of Friend

by Cat Poland

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:29

“How are you doing?,” she asked when we first locked eyes in the hospital room. Such a simple question. Four words. But most people really don’t care what you have to say. If you say anything beyond, “fine,” they get squeamish. But not Amy. She is always thoughtful, always genuinely concerned. And despite her positive qualities, she’s the last person I wanted to see in the hospital.

You see, it was her, not me, lying in the bed. She was immediately concerned about me, the visitor. “I was worried seeing me like this would bring back memories of your own loss.” I was floored. Here she was, hours after delivering her stillborn baby at 16 weeks, worried about my emotions. But that’s just how she is. Completely selfless. I immediately began to cry, but not because my old emotions of a pregnancy loss were refreshed. I wept tears for her. Her lost baby. Her husband. Her son, the same age as my oldest daughter. She’d been through so much. This was just so undeserved. And yet, she held her head up. Sad, but not disheartened.

And to be honest, I’m not sure I could compose myself nearly as well as she does given all the trials she’s been through. Losing a baby is hard enough, but combine that with a child born with ocular albinism, a condition that requires years of treatment, therapies, and adapted needs to cope with, and it’s too much. Only, that’s not all. Before she even had children, before she laid down her own needs to bring life into the world, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

Although she fought off this devastating disease, she is at constant risk of a relapse, and must attend yearly checkups at M.D. Anderson in Houston to ensure it’s still at bay. And what keeps it at bay? Medications, drugs that she chose to stop taking when she decided to become a mother. Having children was her dream. And happily, she now has two. Beautiful, laughing children she pours herself into. Yes, staying at home with them full time exhausts her, and money is often tight, but she clings to her dream. Clings to her children. She knows what she sacrificed to bring them into this world, and she tried not to take anything for granted.

Still, with all of these trials, she remains strong. And loving. And thoughtful. Probably the most thoughtful person I know. I’m proud to call her friend. I only hope someday I can be the friend she deserves, because I certainly don’t deserve her. She is my guiding counsel, my shoulder to cry on, my word of wisdom. She’s the one who asks, “How are you doing?,” and I can answer honestly. 

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

10 Fictional Facts about Me

One of these fictional facts about me is true.  Can you guess which one?

1.  I wear a size 2.

2.  I exercise daily for 60 minutes.

3.  I practice Transcendental Meditation.

4.  I love vegetables.

5.  I can read my teenager's mind.

6.  I am very confident.

7.  I once won the lottery and gave it all to charity.

8.  I have perfect skin.

9.  I know you love me.

10. I have no interest in NASCAR.

I love Monday Listicles! This is true!

photo credit: Add rien via photopin cc

Save It for Later: Women Veterans and Senators

Congratulations! You survived Election 2012.  It was exciting and great for women.  Here’s the best of what I bookmarked this week, all related to women and being American.  Happy Veterans Day!

Women Veterans

Veterans Advantage

According to Veterans Advantage, “Roughly 15% of today’s military are women, but military observers will tell you their influence is greater than their numbers suggest and it's growing.”  As you make your reflections for Veterans Day, be sure to remember some female military greats here: Saluting Women Who Served.

Rape in the Military

The Invisible War

Amy Ziering, producer of the film, The Invisible War, which sheds light on the epidemic of rape in the United States Military, states “There’s much about being raped in the military that’s categorically different from civilian rape.  In many ways it can be even more profoundly damaging. If you’re a civilian, you can seek immediate comfort and support from friends and family, you can seek recourse through an impartial criminal justice system, and you are not blamed and castigated if you report. What the public doesn't realize is that if you are raped in the military, you don’t have these options. Plus, it goes against the creed you've been taught—‘A good soldier doesn’t tell on a fellow soldier — good marines suck it up.’ All these things combined have kept so many victims from being able to talk about what happened to them,” (Los Angeles Post, June 26, 2012).

It is vital to raise awareness of the epidemic of rape in the military as we continue to strive in our country for the elimination of and healing from crimes against women.  For more information see the website, Not Invisible, where you can watch the trailer, request a screening, and obtain information on having your voice heard.

Celebrating Women Senators

Do you know all of the recently elected female U.S. Senators?  I love this presentation I found on Prezi:

Meet your Women Senators on Prezi

Let's Not Forget Our Widows

The American Widow Project

Back in April, Anna Mahler, a regular contributor to Wednesday's Woman spotlighted Taryn Davis, founder of the American Widow Project.  Veterans Day is certainly a time to keep our widows in our thoughts.

“While the service member’s sacrifice is acknowledged, many simply forget or fail to recognize the sacrifice of the spouse who is now left a widow of war. Often times the invisible wounds of military widows are disregarded due to age or a simple lack of knowledge and understanding." ~Taryn Davis

The American Widow Project provides peer to peer support for a new generation of military widows.  For more information go here: The American Widow Project. 

Women Do Not Belong in the Kitchen

This has nothing to do with the election or veterans.  I simply feel compelled to share.

The trouble with depression is indolence becomes my best friend.  Time with my best friend keeps me from doing things like chores, exercising, reading, and the like.  However, depression and its accompanying sloth does give a great excuse for leaving the dishes, which I despise doing.  

These dishes have been accumulating since Thursday,
a true, off-line, Save It for Later.

Even though I am happy to report that I am gaining momentum (yesterday I raked leaves and cleaned out my car with the help of my youngest daughter, Antonia), I could not bring myself to tackle that sink. This morning, my significant other did it for me.  Thanks, M.  I seriously do not belong in the kitchen.


Save It for Later is a regular feature sharing the week's best bookmarks that I saved to read later.

Wordless Wednesday: President Barack Obama

Wednesday's Woman: Dreams for My Daughters

Today's guest blogger sent me the following post and it was so well done, it needed no editing. While watching the election returns, I thought, "Wow. I can just copy and paste this right into a post and then continue focusing on this news stuff."

But I can't do that.  I need to share this with you:

Last spring, like a lighting bolt, Ashley appeared to me as a jolt of renewal in the hope that compassion is a reality.  I had just found out that I was selected a BlogHer 2012 Voices of the Year Honoree and she offered me her ticket to BlogHer 2012 in New York City.  I accepted but, unfortunately, I could not attend.  That killed me because I wanted to be there in honor of her and everyone I knew like her--a devoted mother, an advocate for young women and girls, and one who is not afraid to tell it like it is. However, Ashley's bravery is not in pointing out reality, her courage is in delivering the punch with empathy.    

After you read today's Wednesday's Woman, be sure to check out Ashley's space, The Dose of Reality, follow her on Twitter, and like her on Facebook.  

I am beyond grateful to have Ashley, The Dose of Reality, here today.

Ashley is a mostly-stay-at-home mom to Emma (8) and Abby (4), wife to my husband Robert (41ish), and an occasional nurse (turns out she would rather just play a nurse on TV). At this point, she stands a better chance of creating world peace than keeping her house clean and organized. She considers it a good day when she remembers to pick up both kids at school and also only raises her voice at bedtime. Her main goal in life is to surround herself with people who are real and tell it like it is.The Dose of Reality

The Dose of Reality

Wednesday’s Woman: Dreams for My Daughters

By Ashley Taylor

My girls are still so young, relatively speaking, despite the fact that like all clichés, I feel the time rushing by. I know that in practically the blink of an eye they will go from now to then. The same way that it has gone from then to now. I wonder if I have squandered the time that has already past. Have I missed moments that I will never have back again? Do they know that my presence with them, even when it feels distracted, is real? Will they ever truly be able to grasp the fierceness of my love?

I feel like I still have the chance to control things in their world to a certain extent. I can make sure that homework is complete and a healthy lunch with an encouraging note awaits them in the school cafeteria. I still have the power to push through the stubborn silence and find the cause of the hurt feelings. This time, this moment, this period feels like my chance to impart all of my knowledge for the future when they will quite likely choose their own food, their own clothes, their own friends and their own beliefs.

So, what do I need to make sure they know? What do I want to ensure they believe?

I hope they never forget what it is like to have each other. The power of the sister bond. I hope they never stop needing each other and my messages of that bond, as demonstrated by my own sister relationship, reinforces their closeness. As I say so often to my girls, a sister is a forever friend.

I want them to always love to read. To become so engrossed in a book that they forget everything around them. I want them to know in their core that knowledge is power and that reading is a gift.

I wish I could spare them the experience of real heartbreak, but I know that I cannot. So, what I hope is that when they come to those moments that their ability to rise back up and keep going is strong. I hope that their sense of self is intact enough that no one else will be able to make them doubt their own worthiness. Because I will not lie, the thought of one of my girls believing herself to be less than makes my own heart break.

As a woman who struggles with her own body image, mostly in part to a mother who struggled with her own so severely, I would love to believe I can stop that cycle in my own children. I would love to believe that they will be immune to the societal media pressure to be a certain size. To look a certain way, to be a certain something. I would love to believe I am teaching them that being healthy and loving their own unique bodies is far more important than what the number on the scale says.

What I think I hope most in the world is that they own their potential as women, but never use it to hurt other women. Secretly inside, I have this belief that perhaps seeing their mother as a blogger who so strongly supports validating other women will somehow rub off on them. I would feel a great sense of pride if my girls grow up to be independent and self-assured and use their strength to help others.

This mothering gig comes with such overwhelming responsibility because I feel like I am here to shape these little girls into women, and I just want so badly to do it well. I want to look back someday and say to myself, “Yes, your girls know that they are loved, they know they are protected, and they know they are everything amazing you always knew they were”.

Those are my dreams for my daughters.

Wednesday's Woman is a weekly feature dedicated to spotlighting women who are role models for our daughters. . . and the world.

photo credit: Sunciti _ Sundaram's Images + Messages via photopin cc

photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc