Where Is My Daughter?

I really want to read other blogs and leave comments right now but have the need to fulfill my blog every day commitment.  So, what do you want to read about?

Would you like to know how frustrating it is to have your first born off and running around town while you worry about her getting into cars, homes without parents. . . situations in which you may have not yet given her the tools to navigate?

The GPS tracker on her phone picked her up three blocks out of our little “city” which put her IN the city and I freaked out.  

The only thing I worry about in our 2.5 square mile municipality within the capital city is the lack of parental guidance given to some of her peers.  It’s pretty safe.  But when you get to the edge of town and step across the street, it becomes about so much more than if a parent is present in the home.

After I saw her location, I texted her twice. 

No texts back.

I called.

No answer.

I immediately thought someone swooped her off the street, had her in a vehicle, and was speeding her towards a place of doom.

I texted her dad who had her in his care for the weekend and before he could respond, she called.

I heard screaming teens and an echoing voice coming over loud speakers and knew.  The GPS was not exactly accurate.  She was at the football game, exactly where she was supposed to be.

I contemplated going there, but I didn’t.

I knew it was normal for her to go to a football game without me sitting somewhere in the stands keeping watch.

I knew I could trust her dad when she’s in his care.

I knew I should trust her.

My heart, though, knew nothing but the ache of watching a girl growing into a woman.  It knew of all the things that could go wrong and little of what could go right.

photo credit: zappowbang via photo pin cc

The More Things Change

Have I told you how grateful I am for Monday Listicles?  When I get out of the habit of caring for Sperk*, Monday Listicles always brings me back, gently and successfully.  Thanks, Stasha.

Today’s theme is 10 Clues We Are Living In 2012.  But, you know, the more things change, the more they stay the same. 

5 Clues I Am Living in 2012

1.  I have no landline. My home phone is my cell phone.

2.  My oldest is a freshman in high school.

3.  I can go an entire week without speaking to anyone, but still communicate with the world.

4.  Completed my college degree without stepping foot in a classroom.

5.  $100 buys only one bag of groceries.

5 Clues Nothing Has Changed Since 1992

1.  My kids’ school backpacks weigh over 50 pounds each.  (When will technology replace all of those binders and books?)

2.  I get calls from telemarketers soliciting time shares.

3.  Teens still have make-out parties in the basement and think parents do not know.

4.  Watching television is still one of America’s top forms of entertainment.

5.  Moms top the list as the number one most embarrassing thing in the lives of teens.

Who knows.  Some of these things may change.  Our school district will eventually embrace technology.  Kids may have online make-out parties.  But one thing that will most definitely never change:  our kids' need for love and acceptance.  

Go hug your baby.  Or your puppy.  Or go online and feed your cyber-pet.

Go forth into the new week with optimism. . . because I said so.

photo credit: m a c h i n t o y via photo pin cc

Help!

I need your help!

Last week my laptop crashed.  I hadn’t run a backup since October 2011 and therefore lost a lot of material. 

I am over the loss of several "to-do" lists.  I am slowly getting over the loss of writing and photos.  However, one lost item that causes me to kick myself for procrastinating on running a backup is my schedule of guest bloggers for Wednesday’s Woman.

My trusty Toshiba is in the shop.  I just know I will soon hear that some genius at Staples retrieved my files.  I wait.  I hope.  I wait.

In the meantime, if you are one of the generous bloggers who committed to being a guest for Wednesday’s Woman, please email me with your scheduled date.  Please?

Thank you.

If you are confirmed for “sometime in the fall” or “at the end of June” or some other vague time that I gave you, please email me.  Please?

Thank you.

If you would like to submit a guest post for Wednesday’s Woman and I haven’t contacted you, email me.  Please do not be afraid to be afraid of saying, “Hey, I want to do Wednesday’s Woman!”  I dig enthusiasm and gusto.

Thank you.

Photo Credit:

  by  Dimitri N. 

Ten Make it Easier

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I had visions of getting into a disciplined blogging groove last week while the kids were on Spring Break with their dad.  However, it turned out that having an extended play-date with my significant other, M, overruled all regulation of activity.

Thankfully, I can ease back into things with a relatively easy Monday Listicles.  Terri, of Terri Sonoda, came up with today's topic, "10 Things That Make Life Easier."  I know that the great blogging community created by Stasha at The Good Life, is one thing that certainly makes Monday easier, and I am grateful.

 

Ten that make life easier (in no particular order):

Car – It’s old, but it works. The bus line here isn’t extensive. I feel for those I see waiting at the stop.

Mini Shop Vac – Collects all the stray dog hair left on EVERYTHING by my three Chihuahuas.

Samsung Epic Smartphone – I rarely use it as a phone; I don’t like to talk. I use it for texting, Twitter, and playing Word Feud and my latest addiction, Draw Something.

Toshiba Laptop – I’m on it now, later, and a moment ago.

Google – I look up everything.  And I enjoy the Droid OS on my smartphone.

Spotify – It helps me stay connected to my teen by sharing music.  And I love music.

Microwave – I’m no chef.  Everything would be raw if it weren’t for the ol’ thing.

Bank Card – I don’t even want to imagine life without automatic teller machines and online shopping.

My Dogs – They make me smile.

My Girls and M – They make it all worthwhile.

Throw Out the Gold Stars

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When I began raising my daughters I was a proponent for the support of self-esteem development to the point of keeping them from situations that could be disappointing.  They received gold stars for making the bed, brushing their hair, being nice to each other. . . .   Bad idea.  I am still a believer that self-esteem matters, but my view has changed on how to be supportive, especially now that we are living in a world where everyone, even your child, is plugged in.

Technology and the internet are great tools that help us get a lot of our needs instantly met.  Kids, too, are able to satisfy most of their needs and desires through use these outside sources--resources found via the computer.  And I am sure you’ve experienced what occurs when the computer runs slow, or heaven forbid, Facebook is down—grunting, yelling at the screen, and the laptop snapping shut.  Is this how we want our kids to handle the failure of getting their needs met?

There are times when my daughter’s needs cannot be immediately met—Sally won’t be available to chat or her softball team loses the tournament.  She won’t always make the Honor Roll and I won’t always be home to fix the home network.   It is impossible to protect her from "losing" or "failing".  It's too exhausting and unrealistic.  And it causes the development of an emotional handicap, similar to not being able to handle the disappointment of hearing the word, "no".

In losing and failing, kids learn to deal with uncomfortable emotions.  When parents are there to be supportive when their child is experiencing uncomfortable emotions, the situation can prove to be an experience that increases self-esteem.  It teaches him that he is loveable no matter if he wins or loses and perpetuates his willingness to take healthy risks in the future.   More importantly, it prepares him to be ok with feelings that aren’t pleasant.  This is important because we do not want our kids to run from unpleasant feelings to drugs, alcohol, sex, the internet, food, and the like.

Losing is also an opportunity for children to explore their talents.  By all means, let your child try as many activities as she wants, but then use the not so successful experience to help her discern, "Is this my kind of thing, or do my talents lie elsewhere?"  If she always wins, how will she know what she does well?

And, no, we do not have to print out an award every time our kids complete a task.  Yes, when engaging in activities such as sports or theater, preparation and participation should be acknowledged as accomplishments because every activity requires self-discipline, commitment, and courage.  However, it is unrealistic to be extrinsically rewarded for every attempt our child makes (like getting a trophy for trying).  We must teach our children to honor themselves from a place within which supports the development of intrinsic motivation.  Otherwise, kids will only choose to participate if they are guaranteed a gold star.


Linking up with:

Celebrate Family with Web 2.0

We have plenty to do.  There are more cookie recipes to try, presents to buy and the tree has been up with just lights and no trimmings for three days. But after the gifts are opened and bellies are full, what do you do?  You can gather around your technological devices and remember 2011.  Here's some ideas:

Make a family infographic.  I got the idea from My Life as Prose.  Each family member can make their own infographic based on 2011, then you can share and compare.  Find infographic ideas at visual.ly, a site I came across in one of my daily reads Free Technology for Teachers.  Other Web 2.0 tools for creating infographics can be found at MakeUseOf.  (Always preview internet content before browsing with your kids or you may end up discussing things you haven't planned).

I quickly made a family themed infographic at Wordle.  My kids have used this application at school and love it.  The one below was done hastily but still turned out visually appealing.  You can copy and paste text from blogs, journals, and newletters written throughout the year or input words that identify meanigful people and events of 2011.  Once the text is entered, the app generates the infographic for you.  If you like, you can customize the layout, colors, and fonts.  

Get out the popcorn. Make a family film. Last year during the holiday break we made our own video.  We simply used our digital camera's video app and editing tools in Windows Live Movie Maker.  As an alternative, I know you can make some great video slideshows at Animoto.  My daughter made one for her dad of photos and videos from her birth to now and it brings tears to everyone's eyes.  This would be a great way to celebrate 2011 either by creating a video slideshow together or each family member making their own and comparing different perspectives of the same events.  Or you could film a "Year in Review" news broadcast, a cooking show demonstrating how to prepare the family's favorite meals of 2011. . . the possibilities are endless.

I haven't decided how we will make our family film this year, but it is fun to look back on the one from 2010:

Create a family treasure hunt based on family events that transpired in 2011 using the QR Treasure Hunt Generator.  This looks incredibly fun but I just stumbled upon it today via @russeltarr on Twitter and have not tried it.  It is definitely something I am planning to do for our New Year's Eve celebration.

Don't be afraid to incorporate Web 2.0 applications into your family time during the holiday break.  It's a great way to support your children's media literacy skills, which are vital to today's tweens and teens, along with sharing memories of 2011.  There are many more tools out there and if you have some to share, let me know!  Remember Ed tech is not just for teachers.

Logo Maker on Web 2.0

A few days ago I wrote about my attempts to create a blog header that best represents Sperk*.   I wanted readers to arrive here and have an idea of what I am communicating through my writing.  Visual identity is essential in the blogosphere because it is saturated with millions who have something to share.  Standing out can seem impossible.  I simply wanted to be identifiable.  Even though my blog is still in a stage of development, I was able to discern that I wanted the header to be professional looking, simple, and not too formal.  I wanted to make sure readers felt comfortable and compelled to scroll down, read, and discover how Sperk* is unfolding.

Today I used LogoType Maker, a Web 2.0 tool that I discovered through Diigo's Hot Bookmarks, to create my header.  LogoType Maker was easy to use.  When I arrived at the site, I typed my blog title into the field labeled Type Here, clicked Generate LOGO, and it generated 12 logos that were ready to be saved in the bookmarking field.  I clicked randomize a few times to get some ideas and see if anything spoke to me.  I tried a few of the editing options on the ones that were stand outs.

Editing was easy.  I modified the generated font to one that visually complimented my existing blog layout.  I wasn’t happy with the font colors and was worried I would have to change the colors of my blog in order for it to match.  I was relieved to discover that I could easily input the #RGB’s from my blog to be applied to the logo font.  

Uploading my own photo was as easy as uploading it to Blogger, Facebook, or any other site that has photo uploading.  I did not like the way it looked.  This was an issue with my photo, not with LogoType Maker.  The photo was easy to delete.  I chose one of the provided images and liked it better than what I was going to use.

The application uses three layers for the font, photo and background.  Each layer is easily manipulated for placement and size.  I made five different logos and saved them as .png files to my laptop.  There are options to save your logo as a .pdf or a .zip file, too.  

I uploaded one of the five logos to my header and did not like how it looked.  No problem.  I easily removed it and tried another.  I did this until I decided on the one you see now in my header.

  

LogoType Maker was fun and easy to use.  It is great because it is free and has some features that come with purchased software.  I was able to quickly create a professional and relevant logo.  And I already have ideas for other LogoType Maker applications: to create my Facebook Timeline header (guide from Mashable) and a Christmas gift for my girls.

 

Coupon Expires: Never

What started out as a day of observation for the ancient Christian church is now a day where kids sit by a perfectly decorated tree playing with what Santa has brought them for Christmas.  The evolution of the holiday and its traditions is not a fault of ours.  It became the day of the ultimate gift exchange at the turn of the 20th Century.  We can blame our ancestors for it.  But the commercial stress bomb of Christmas, we can blame on ourselves.  I have fallen for it many times.  There is insane pressure.  “What are you getting the kids for Christmas?” has replaced the ritual of asking, “How have you been?”  

For two-home families, giving Christmas gifts becomes a well-orchestrated event.  Dad’s giving the iPod Touch; I will give all the accessories.  "But wait.  I wanted to give them the iPod Touch.  They’ll think he loves them more than I do!" I have never said that aloud but I have worried about it.

It’s difficult to escape the message of over-commercialism.   It’s there every time I check my email and see another 50% off coupon code.  It’s there when my daughter comes home from school and says, “My friend Lucy is getting a pair of UGGs for Christmas.”  It’s there when I pick up milk at Kroger and see the wall of gift cards that gives subliminal suggestions.  It’s actually funny when they ask if I’d like to give one dollar to help end hunger.  “No, I can’t.  I have to buy my child this $50 gift card to Barnes and Noble.”  It's as if I am a better parent if I give my kids books instead of toys.

I am tired of the pressure.  I am tired of what it causes me to think.  I am becoming one of those people that do not agree with the tradition of giving my children gifts. Even if I couple the gift giving with a trip to the homeless shelter to help serve Christmas dinner, my kids will still think of Christmas as that day they get tons of presents.  But I am not to the point where I am going to announce, “This year there will be no gifts!”

They’re getting some clothes.  They need them.  Every year I get them a wall calendar for the New Year.  I am keeping that tradition. 

Last year I started another tradition:  making coupons.  I got the idea when I saw a romantic coupon book while in line at Barnes and Noble.  I thought, “why not make one for the kids.”

I didn’t have the time or the talent to make a book so I found a template at Microsoft Office.  I made 12 coupons for each daughter with the intent of them redeeming one per month.  I put them in coordinately decorated envelopes.  Coupons were  "Good For":

Day alone for Mom and Me  (Activities chosen by redeemer of coupon).

Mom takes a friend and me to the movies

One shirt from the Delia’s sale table

Breakfast in bed

Dinner out (Restaurant is redeemer’s choice).

Pizza Night

Sleepover with a friend at Mom’s house

One day of unlimited screen time

In-home pedicure

The envelopes contained one of each coupon with some of them duplicated to equal 12.  Some of the coupons, like the one for the sleepover, required planning, so I told the girls they had to let me know in advance--about three days--when they wanted to redeem them.  This worked out well because even if I couldn’t accommodate the coupon, I could plan for it the following month.  Then they selected an alternative coupon to redeem sooner.

Antonia has coupons left over that I am allowing to be rolled over into 2012.  Sophia lost some of hers and sometimes can be caught staring longingly at her sister's which are pinned to her bulletin board.  And both have asked if they are getting them again this year.

Yes, my girls will get coupons again this year.  I am looking forward to making them.  They are a yearlong reminder of the reason I give Christmas gifts to my girls:  because I love them.

Driving Online Without A License

Last year my young teen daughter began whining “I NEED A FACEBOOK!” at a pitch that would drive even the well-adjusted ear mad. This happened at least once a day with exponential growth occurring in how often and how loud this exclamation was heard.  On the rare occasion that she could calmly speak about the topic, her argument was that all her friends no longer used email or Google Buzz.  According to her, there was “. . . no way to keep in touch with everyone.” 

I found this a bit silly at first considering that I survived my teen years without the internet.  And yes, she no longer went to school with her closest friends, but she could always pick up the cell phone I provided for her.  And all of her new school friends lived within 2.5 miles of the house.  Why Facebook?

She exclaimed, “Everyone is on Facebook!”

She was right.  Even though I frequently discuss the perils of peer pressure, I could not see keeping her from the place where her friends were socializing.  It’s no longer at the corner pizza place, on the phone, or even via email.  Facebook is a necessity.

I did not want her to begin interacting on Facebook before she had a clear understanding of the responsibility tied to using technology for social networking.  If I said, “Here are the keys to the car,” before she had driver’s education, I would be off my rocker.  So here’s what I did:

I created a social media research project that had to be presented to me in order to open a Facebook account.  

The project included short essays and presentations on various topics concerning computer literacy and social media.  She wrote about the history of the computer, the internet, Apple vs. Microsoft, Facebook, Google, LAN and WAN, netiquette and Socialnomics.  Presentations were made using either a Microsoft Office or Web 2.0 tool.  

Photo Credit

She was very resistant to the project, but the desire to have a Facebook account outweighed her disdain for the idea of the work involved.  Because of her school work and activities, it took her three months to complete the entire list of project components.  And some I had her edit or do over until she illustrated she had an understanding of what she learned and how to apply it.  

Was it a lot of work?  Yes.  

Was it fun?  I am sure she would say, “No.”  But I disagree.

The video recorded interview that she did with her dad, a retail executive, for her presentation on Socialnomics, looked fun to me.  And her use of PowerPoint, Windows Live Movie Maker and Prezi for other presentations exhibited signs of fun and creativity.  She was also required to create a web page using Google Sites.  Even if she would not describe it as fun, I saw some excitement in her face when she was researching facts about the Beatles to include on her site.   

There was more complaining to endure when she reached the final component of the project because the required length was longer than the rest.  It was the most important entitled, 

How do I want the world to know me?

I explained that once she enters the world of social networking, she’s there forever.  Every post counts.  This is how everyone, all of the friends she wants to keep up with and the world, will know her.  There is no taking it back.  There is no chance of a verbal explanation of what she intended to communicate.  Posts online are Polaroid snapshots of her life on her permanent record.

She tackled the How I Want the World to Know Me presentation by using the web camera on her laptop.  She toted her open laptop around the house giving details about why she likes spending time in each part of the home.  This was clever.   Even though it is difficult to go unnoticed in this small house, I was pleasantly surprised by some of the specifics in her final edited video.

She was elated when the project was approved.  She squealed with excitement that she could finally become social again. She thought, “Project complete.  Facebook account opened.  Done.”

She was wrong.  I set up expectations for using Facebook.  Online safety is crucial. But this was more unpopular than the research project.  

Some of the guidelines I set are that I am to know her password, do random spot checks while she is online, and limit her time spent socially connected until after homework is done.  The time boundary is difficult because social media is a powerful collaborative tool for homework.  This is where coming into her room and peaking over her shoulder, or ‘spot checks’, becomes effective.

Online safety issues continue to emerge and evolve as she gets older and her circle of friends becomes larger.  I recommend setting a limit on the amount of friends your child has on Facebook.  I also recommend you know who your child is friends with on Facebook and know who she interacts with the most.  It’s not an easy task.  It takes time.  But remember, you can’t drive by the corner pizza shop to see if your kid is hanging out with the wrong crowd.  It’s online.

We can’t keep our kids from socializing online.  We need to support it just like every other stage of development.  This is our responsibility as global citizens.  We must not be afraid.

Even if your kids are already using social media, I encourage you to implement a research project.  The project can include how they use technology for socializing, school, and entertainment.  It will give them opportunities to try new applications, develop critical thinking skills, and become aware of online safety.  It will support the development of media literacy.

It may be fun to do a project with your child.  You can brush up on your knowledge of your home network, new software, and your own online persona.  But do not go back and look at your old MySpace profile.  That is, unless you want to show your kids what happens when you get the keys to the car without a license.

Why Ed Tech is Not Just for Teachers

I spent the morning attempting to make the header on my blog eye-catching, representative of my writing, and professional looking.  I am not the most versed in design software so I chose to use a combination of Microsoft Word, Photobucket, and the snipping tool accessory.  It may have been easier to either install Photoshop on my laptop or open my daughter’s laptop that already has it installed.  However, I am not confident in my skills with Photoshop.

Although I don’t think it’s representative of how much fun adolescent girls are to parent, I got the header to look acceptable.  Then I continued with my morning reading of blogs and posts of interest.  During my stop at Diigo, I found the link for LogoType Maker in the Hot Bookmarks.  I need to give it a try before I give you any feedback on it but some of its listed features are: upload images; modify logo, drop shadow; outline; cliparts; export png, zip, and pdf; and FREE.  I am assuming that had I used it for my header, it would now be just what I intended.  

If I was not an educational technology enthusiast, I would not have come across LogoType Maker.  One year ago, I was in a computer literacy class required for my degree in Early Education.  There were several Web 2.0 sites that were mandatory to use and Diigo, a bookmark sharing site, was one of them.  Also included on the list were Jing, similar to the snipping tool but better, and Prezi.  Prezi, an application for creating lively presentations, was the most difficult for this digital immigrant to learn, but the results were incredible.  From there I came across Free Technology for Teachers, an educational technology resource blog.  And from there I . . . I am now addicted to educational technology.

Ed tech is important to everyone, obviously, because it is being implemented into our children’s schools.  Even if I didn’t have school-age children, I would still want to know what was being implemented in my community's school curriculum.

 Also, applications found across the web are great for use at home.  Parents can support their children’s engagement in media of all sorts.  This increases their media literacy skills, especially when parents spend time with their children as they interact with peers online.  There are even great applications for creating cool videos, interactive timelines, and ebooks that can be used for creating unique family memories.

I am finding that educational technology gives light to easy to use applications that are not just for the classroom.  They are tools that can be implemented into personal writing and parenting blogs.  Because ed tech writers introduce media-rich applications as they could be applied in a classroom, they break it down very simply because teachers don’t often have time to implement tricky tech stuff--nor do bloggers. 

If you want to get started following educational technology because you are a parent, a blogger, a blogging parent, or just someone who wants to know what’s new and hip, check out The Edublog Awards Blog.  There is a comprehensive list of ed tech teachers’ blogs that were nominated for awards.  You are likely to find something useful and fun.  And if you find a blog you like, go ahead and give it a vote!

Write On.

Writing is an empowering, mind-clearing tool that can help me become focused and free.  I have found that I can't get to the good stuff until extraneous stuff is purged which makes daily writing an important exercise.  Today, I have two papers due for my current class. Therefore, I am certainly not at a loss for what to write about.  But what happens when there are no assignments?  I look around the web for inspiration.  Here’s some great blogs and web pages with writing prompts that I like to use:

The One Minute Writer.  I especially like that like many of the blogs, it gives a daily prompt.  I also like the cute little video timer and that you can link your post to the blog.  Here’s one from this week:

Today's Writing Prompt: News

Write about a piece of good news you recently received.

I hear good news every day when the girls come home from school and tell me about their day.  No matter if they’ve passed or failed that big math test, had trouble finding a seat at lunch, decided they want to have a sleep over with a friend. . .hearing that they are getting along well at school always makes me feel grateful.

Mind Bump  is where other bloggers post prompts that are linked back to their blogs.  It's a great promotional tool that gets me thinking about topics I wouldn't have thought of on my own.  If I am not moved by the prompt that appears when I arrive at the page, I can refresh for a new one.

Writers Digest has some challenging prompts that are great story starters.  And for inspiration Write on Edge and Daily Writing Practice never fail to rouse some words to the page.  If I am looking for an alternative to my anagram games, a great word challenge SMITH Magazine's Six-Word Memoirs.

If the above fail to get me writing, I look through my Twitter profile. There's plenty of inspiration in the blog writers I follow!

Happy writing!