Last year my young teen daughter began whining “I NEED A
FACEBOOK!” at a pitch that would drive even the well-adjusted ear mad. This happened
at least once a day with exponential growth occurring in how often and how loud
this exclamation was heard. On the rare occasion
that she could calmly speak about the topic, her argument was that all her
friends no longer used email or Google Buzz.
According to her, there was “. . . no way to keep in touch with
everyone.”
I found this a bit silly at first considering that I
survived my teen years without the internet.
And yes, she no longer went to school with her closest friends, but she
could always pick up the cell phone I provided for her. And all of her new school friends lived within
2.5 miles of the house. Why Facebook?
She exclaimed, “Everyone is on Facebook!”
She was right. Even
though I frequently discuss the perils of peer pressure, I could not see
keeping her from the place where her friends were socializing. It’s no longer at the corner pizza place, on
the phone, or even via email. Facebook
is a necessity.
I did not want her to begin interacting on Facebook
before she had a clear understanding of the responsibility tied to using
technology for social networking. If
I said, “Here are the keys to the car,” before she had driver’s education, I would be off my rocker.
So here’s what I did:
I created a social media research project that had to be presented to me in order to open a Facebook account.
The project included short essays and presentations on
various topics concerning computer literacy and social media. She wrote about the history of the computer,
the internet, Apple vs. Microsoft, Facebook, Google, LAN and WAN, netiquette and
Socialnomics. Presentations were made
using either a Microsoft Office or Web 2.0 tool.
She was very resistant to the project, but the desire to
have a Facebook account outweighed her disdain for the idea of the work
involved. Because of her school work and
activities, it took her three months to complete the entire list of project
components. And some I had her edit or
do over until she illustrated she had an understanding of what she learned and how
to apply it.
Was it a lot of work?
Yes.
Was it fun? I am sure
she would say, “No.” But I disagree.
The video recorded interview that she did with her dad, a retail
executive, for her presentation on
Socialnomics, looked fun to
me. And her use of
PowerPoint,
Windows Live Movie Maker and
Prezi for other presentations exhibited signs of fun and
creativity. She was also required to
create a web page using
Google Sites. Even if
she would not describe it as fun, I saw some excitement in her face when she
was researching facts about the Beatles to include on her site.
There was more complaining to endure when she reached the
final component of the project because the required length was longer than the
rest. It was the most important
entitled,
How do I want the
world to know me?
I explained that once she enters the world of social
networking, she’s there forever. Every post counts. This is how everyone, all of the friends she
wants to keep up with and the world, will know her. There is no taking it back. There is no chance of a verbal explanation of what she
intended to communicate. Posts online
are Polaroid snapshots of her life on her permanent record.
She tackled the How I Want the World to Know Me presentation by using the web camera on her
laptop. She toted her open laptop around the house giving
details about why she likes spending time in each part of the home. This was clever. Even though it is difficult to go unnoticed
in this small house, I was pleasantly surprised by some of the specifics in her
final edited video.
She was elated when the project was approved. She squealed
with excitement that she could finally become social again. She thought, “Project
complete. Facebook account opened. Done.”
She was wrong. I set
up expectations for using Facebook. Online
safety is crucial. But this was more unpopular than the research project.
Some of the guidelines I set are that I am to know her
password, do random spot checks while she is online, and limit her time spent socially
connected until after homework is done.
The time boundary is difficult because social media is a powerful
collaborative tool for homework. This is
where coming into her room and peaking over her shoulder, or ‘spot checks’,
becomes effective.
Online safety issues continue to emerge and evolve as she
gets older and her circle of friends becomes larger. I recommend setting a limit on the amount of
friends your child has on Facebook. I
also recommend you know who your child is friends with on Facebook and know who she interacts with the most. It’s not an easy task. It takes time. But remember, you can’t drive by the corner
pizza shop to see if your kid is hanging out with the wrong crowd. It’s online.
We can’t keep our kids from socializing online. We need to support it just like every other
stage of development. This is our
responsibility as global citizens. We must not be afraid.
Even if your kids are already using social media, I
encourage you to implement a research project.
The project can include how they use technology for socializing, school,
and entertainment. It will give them
opportunities to try new applications, develop
critical thinking skills, and
become aware of online safety. It will
support the development of media literacy.
It may be fun to do a project with your child. You can brush up on your knowledge of your
home network, new software, and your own online persona. But do not go back and look at your old
MySpace profile. That is, unless you
want to show your kids what happens when you get the keys to the car without a license.
